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AIBU?

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Original poster

to want to go braless even though DP disapproves?

225 replies

TikiMara · 14/05/2018 14:23

Been with DP for 3 years. When I'm not at work I tend not to wear a bra. I have c cup boobs. Not tiny but not big either. I don't have significantly protruding nipples (not that it would matter if I did!). Problem is, I love going braless, it's so comfy and I just prefer it. DP hates it. Thinks it's inappropriate (no, I don't wear anything see through or massively booby). He thinks everyone is staring at my breasts (they're not) and I may as well be naked... AIBU to think, 'my boobs, my choice' ?

OP posts:
ikeepaforkinmypurse · 15/05/2018 11:30

Blimey, if you are that self-centered that you cannot comprehend that you are embarrassing your teenage kids by having your boobs on show or bouncing around.

Calling me a troll just make you sound like a dimwit, trying to insult people because you know you are in the wrong. I feel sorry for the kids.
It's bad enough when you are embarrassing your partner, but at least they have a choice!

ILikeyourHairyHands · 15/05/2018 11:45

I'm pretty sure my husband's not embarrassed by my boobs.

And everything about parents embarrases teenagers. In order to not embarrass them one would have to join a closed order until they were about 19.

Willow2017 · 15/05/2018 12:00

It's selfish and out of order when you have teenage kids that you are embarrassing.

Of all the ridiculous things to say!
Maybe her teens dont wear bras either Wink

If people are offended by her lack of a bra thats their problem not hers.

Shave or wear a costume that covers up your hairs.

Hair is natural, why should women be pressurised into shaving because someone else thinks its offensive to be natural? I admire people who dont give a flying fuck what other people think they should conform to. This is whats led to teen girls thinking any kind of body hair is dirty and unatural and being pressurised into brazillians, shaving, waxing themselves into oblivion because its 'expected' almost as soon as they notice they have hair. (and teen boys now expect it thanks to 'celebs' and the 'ideal' image culture) Who the hell thinks they have the right to dictate what a woman should do with her own body and must be 'perfectly hairless' or keep it hidden and pretend it doesnt exist?

Oldandfedup · 15/05/2018 12:06

It's almost ALWAYS noticeable, when a woman is bra-less. And of course if you're at work, that's highly unprofessional, and yes, if you have teenagers and you are going bra-less in front of their friends, they will be MORTIFIED.

Personally, when I see a woman bra-less, I assume she's done it for the attention.

I once went to an office "do" and there was a colleague there with a mesh top on, and no bra....her nipples were actually poking through the mesh....just put them away....VOM.

It's silly comparing a man's chest to a woman's. You'd be best to liken it to a man who is pant-less and in jogging bottoms....again....totally obvious as his knackers are jiggling around.

FindoGask · 15/05/2018 12:09

"I once went to an office "do" and there was a colleague there with a mesh top on, and no bra....her nipples were actually poking through the mesh...."

No you didn't.

Oldandfedup · 15/05/2018 12:10

Er, YES, I did. WTF would I make that up? She was as flat as a pancake too.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 15/05/2018 12:24

Well you can assume I'm doing it for attention all you like. I am happily oblivious to your judgement.

I honestly can't recall an occasion where I noticed if a woman was braless or not.

Maybe you should stop going round staring at people's tits. You'll give yourself mouth-wrinkles.

GladAllOver · 15/05/2018 12:50

Personally, when I see a woman bra-less, I assume she's done it for the attention.

It's a lovely day today and I've been out and about in a white blouse with no bra. I'm dressed like that to feel cool and comfortable, and for no other reason.

I don't seek or need attention, and if anyone thinks differently about it I can only feel very sorry for their them.

Willow2017 · 15/05/2018 12:55

No comparing a mans chest to a womans chest is fine.
There are plenty men around who have saggy/ protruding man boobs nobody tells them to wear a freaking bra! Men can go topless and nobody can say they shouldnt but if a woman has just a top over her boobs its a crime of embarrassment? Get over yourself.

Comparing a womans chest to a mans genitals isnt the same at all. Fyi Boobs are not genitals. (And its up to the man if he wears pants or not too if he has joggers on you arent actually seeing anything, he isnt naked)

bananafish81 · 15/05/2018 13:01

It's almost ALWAYS noticeable, when a woman is bra-less. And of course if you're at work, that's highly unprofessional

Please can you advise which of the pictures I posted above is highly unprofessional please @Oldandfedup?

One braless, one not. I'm wearing that outfit at work today. I'd like to understand what is highly unprofessional about one and not the other please?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 15/05/2018 13:16

I agree with Bluntness100

Also NotTheFordType I’m exactly the same when it comes to sweat. And my boobs are quite droopy so they create little pools of sweat underneath lol

Would like to ask. How do people breastfeed without a bra? What holds the pass in place? I went brakes at home when fucked off wearig them and my top was soaking on the opposite side to feeding. I took to using tape to hold them on lol

ILikeyourHairyHands · 15/05/2018 15:46

Didn't need pads Quack, the only time I got leakage was when I first started feeding DS1 and was feeding him on the other breast, so I'd just stick a muslin up my top. My supply regulated fairly quickly so I only had to do that for a few weeks.

Loandbeholdagain · 15/05/2018 15:49

I definitely notice if I see someone not wearing a bra. I wouldn’t comment out loud though.

WowserBowser · 15/05/2018 15:56

I feel like a lot of posters on this thread (apart from Bananafish and a few others)
have been measured at M&S.

Not really relevant I know

BlueSapp · 15/05/2018 16:01

I need a bra, DD's do not stay put and in all honesty i prefer to wear one during the day when I'm out of the house as I feel less self conscious (as soon as I am home for the evening though its most certainly off), however I would never judge other women whatever the size of their breasts for not wearing a bra, what people do is their own choice and it is not for anyone to impress a dress code for your life.

Isadora2007 · 15/05/2018 16:04

if you have teenagers and you are going bra-less in front of their friends, they will be MORTIFIED.

No they won’t. If you’ve brought your teens up to be respectful and critical thinkers instead of narrow-minded prats then they’d probably be respectful of someone’s individual clothing choices and not be shocked and affronted by a nipple.
My teenage kids of both sexes were not bothered by me breastfeeding their younger siblings and neither were their friends. Teens are often the first to stand up for people being able to be individuals and not have to do things “by the book” for the sake of it. Yes they can be embarrassed by their parents sometimes, but that’s often a stage age 13/14 that you can’t avoid by trying to conform- or else you send a message that changing yourself for others is a good thing when it’s not.
Those people judging and pearl clutching over boobs and nipples and hairy bits should take a hard look at their own issues with the female body and stop projecting their shit onto other women.

GladAllOver · 15/05/2018 16:08

Those people judging and pearl clutching over boobs and nipples and hairy bits should take a hard look at their own issues with the female body and stop projecting their shit onto other women.

^^ wot she said !

crispysausagerolls · 15/05/2018 16:27

Those people judging and pearl clutching over boobs and nipples and hairy bits should take a hard look at their own issues with the female body and stop projecting their shit onto other women.

Whether or not a woman wants to shave/wear a bra is a matter of personal preference. Just because she wants to do both of these things, it doesn't mean she has a problem with the female body...

The point here is more whether or not OP cares about her husband's opinion. If she wants to continue going braless then that's her decision, but her husband reserves the right to be uncomfortable about this (just like hairy lady's husband reserves the right to be less attracted to her with hair).

crispysausagerolls · 15/05/2018 16:31

Also bananafish I don't want to be rude and regardless bra size you are etc, in the picture you posted (the left one) there is just nothing there. No one could tell you are braless. If I went braless, it would be highly noticeable, and aside from being uncomfortable without the support of a bra, I would be very uncomfortable with the inevitable extra attention. Same reason I don't wear very low-cut tops or sheer ones - it's natural for people to stare and I wouldn't enjoy that attention. Actually quite jealous of some of the gorgeous things small-breasted women can wear.

GladAllOver · 15/05/2018 16:37

I can't say I've ever known a man - straight or gay - who is offended by the outline of a woman's breasts. On the contrary, most men seem to enjoy looking whenever they can.
A husband who looks at breasts but doesn't want others to look at his own wife's is just admitting his desire to own and control his wife's body.

bananafish81 · 15/05/2018 16:50

@crispysausagerolls but that's my point. For some women it isn't going to be obvious they're not wearing a bra. For some women it is. So it seems ridiculous to make a blanket statement that you can ALWAYS tell if someone isn't wearing a bra and it's ALWAYS disgustingly unprofessional to do so at work.

I'm trying to prove the point that such a sweeping statement is a massive generalisation. Because we're all different!

crispysausagerolls · 15/05/2018 17:19

bananafish

I completely agree with that

haggisaggis · 15/05/2018 17:28

I’ve not worn a bra since I stopped b/feeding dd - so around 15 years. I may occasionally wear one to go out in but otherwise not - including to work. I may wear a vest top under my top but otherwise I reckon it’s my business. I am pretty small boobed though and don’t need any support.

Lilymossflower · 15/05/2018 17:30

Red flag. He shouldn't be controlling what you wear.
It's your own damn body and boob's

Do what the feck. You want

needingamiracle · 15/05/2018 17:33

It's your choice, I remember decades ago my ex being pretty wow about it, he certainly didn't frown about it.

I think he should wear a tight constricting bra and see what he thinks then.

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