to want to go braless even though DP disapproves?

[TikiMara]

Been with DP for 3 years. When I'm not at work I tend not to wear a bra. I have c cup boobs. Not tiny but not big either. I don't have significantly protruding nipples (not that it would matter if I did!). Problem is, I love going braless, it's so comfy and I just prefer it. DP hates it. Thinks it's inappropriate (no, I don't wear anything see through or massively booby). He thinks everyone is staring at my breasts (they're not) and I may as well be naked... AIBU to think, 'my boobs, my choice' ?

I wouldn't go out without a bra unless it was a very loose top.

I don't want that kind of attention on me.

I didn't read the pubic hair thread. My view is that it's not a pleasant sight to see in public.

Shave or wear a costume that covers up your hairs.

I am not surprised at the responses. (I am a man).

A girlfriend when I was much younger would sometimes not wear one and I never would have dreamed of raising concerns or objections. As for the comment about men staring regardless, I recall a friend of said ex-girlfriend (who was on the large breast size) remarking that she wanted a boyfriend who talked to her face not her tits- never to my knowledge in public without a bra.

@bananafish81

But unless you're an A cup, there's going to be skin resting on skin right?On the underside of your boob. Boobs hang, it's what they do.

Maybe I'm just really sweaty! But any time my bare skin is resting on other bare skin (e.g. legs crossed, wearing a dress and sitting with legs together, holding hands) it creates huge amounts of sweat even during the winter.

...I'm just really sweaty, aren't I 😂

I hate wearing a bra. I do wear one for work, but then for conformity sake I do a lot of things at work that aren’t my choice. Out of work I never wear a bra and I couldn’t care at all if someone looks at my breasts or thinks anything of me because of it.

I wear a bra to work as I work in a school and just don’t think I could cope with the looks/comments - they have no tact! Out and about though I often go without wearing a bra. Cos I cba to put one on/haven’t got a clean one/want to keep my clean one clean for work. People sometimes look but I just think - yes those are my boobs.

But unless you're an A cup, there's going to be skin resting on skin right?On the underside of your boob. Boobs hang, it's what they do.

Well we're all different I guess, because my boobs don't hang - the underside of my boob goes out rather than down. There's a crease where the abdomen and the breast meet, but no skin resting on skin. We're all different shapes and sizes and isn't that the tapestry of life!

If you ignore the hideous labels on this diagram (perfect shape is ridiculous - all boobs are perfect, who decides what's aesthetically pleasing or not?!) and just look at the picture - there's not really any contact between the boob and the belly in the small boob shape....

Well @bananafish81 I can only congratulate you - and possibly everyone else on this thread who prefers going bra-less - and I think I've concluded I'm on the high end of the sweaty scale 😂

Agree those labels are ridiculous! Doesn't "tuberous" actually mean "like a potato"?

Tell him to wear a bra everyday and then see what it's like !

I have large boobs (38HH) and protruding nipples that show through even a padded bra and a couple of layers....do I care nope.....does OH care Nope other than when it's cold and it's absurdly visible and then he the same as me finds it amusing that they look like I'm smuggling coal 🤭😆

@NotTheFordType reckon I can join you on the sweaty betty bench, I get a sweaty back and chest (can't really say cleavage as there isn't one unless I wear a padded push up bra!) on the non bra covered areas. So being a member of the itty bitty titty committee doesn't preclude being sweaty!

(although when bravissimo told me I was a D cup I insisted to DH that meant I now had big boobs because we all knew a D cup was curvy, even though I had the same boobs as when I'd walked in the shop wearing a 34A! )

YANBU to decide whether or not you want to wear a bra. I also think your partner is free to his opinion though if it came from mine I'd ask for better evidence to back it up. Might point out every time I saw his nipples outlined through his shirts if I really wanted to drive the point home.

I haven't worn a bra in about 14 years, since my first pregnancy, and pretty haphazardly before that except when I wore a singlet when a sports bra is needed for comfort but everything is going to be on display regardless. My breasts have changed so much since then that I have no idea what size I would be, no skin resting on skin though. I've never noticed anyone stare or make comments on it. I do dress with that in mind - so no white thin t-shirts and plenty of fleeces and overshirts layers or tank tops under to deal with sweat - but that's how I'd dress anyways.

I think most people even if they do notice just move on with their day just as I do when I see nipple outlines or the tops/sides of bras through shirts or the top of someone's underwear. It happens sometimes, even in padded bras some have nipples that poke through, so it's not like a bra is a guarantee of anything in terms of modesty. I personally find large dudes in T-shirts tend to have the most obvious nipples but that may be due to my main hobby circles having quite a few guys like that and their chests tend to be at my eye level. Never thought any of them might as well be naked...

I have a question. Where do pubes end, and leg hair begin?

At the groin.

Not always.

bananafish81 According to your diagram, I'm a cross between Unusually large/sagging

@thenightsky those labels are just hideous - its was the diagram that came up on Google images to illustrate the point about small boobs not necessarily hanging, but frankly the text on that image is abhorrent. Boobs are boobs and they're all marvellous!

I agree with a pp that the word “ control” can be overused. OP’s other half is entitled to his opinion. It’s not like he’s forbidden her to dress a certain way.

YANBU. I hate wearing a bra. Even non- wired sports bra type ones annoy me. I resent having to wear one for work (I do though because I work with teenagers and, let's face it they don't need an excuse to be inappropriate!) and I whip it off through my sleeve as soon as I'm in through my front door. No way would I submit to wearing one of the bloody things in my free time because a man thinks I should! Ask him how would he feel about you dictating what kind of pants he wears, OP? Would he submit to wearing tight pants or a thong or something that he found really uncomfortable just because you told him to? Your bazooms, your business.

I haven't worn a bra for almost three years now - stopped when I was pg with DS2 because they weren't comfortable and never went back. Yes, you can tell I'm not wearing one because of the shape under my top, but I can honestly say that nobody cares. It's not like I'm doing the dance of the seven veils in the middle of the playground!

OP, just wear what's comfortable for you and sod what anyone else thinks. They're just boobs after all.

@notthefordtype But unless you're an A cup, there's going to be skin resting on skin right?On the underside of your boob. Boobs hang, it's what they do.

Nope I'm a 34B, C when I gain a little weight, I can never ever pass the pencil test. In winter in more likely to wear a bra or crop top, more layers = more warmth, in summer I often don't when more layers =more sweat. I rarely get looks other than from SIL who used to say, where are your bra straps I couldn't wear strapless all the time they're uncomfortable. She now knows well enough that I'm not wearing a bra, and bemoans her much more ample and post breast feeding chest. Being fairly flat chested has down sides but this is a big positive for me.

I agree with a pp that the word “ control” can be overused. OP’s other half is entitled to his opinion. It’s not like he’s forbidden her to dress a certain way.

Not saying he's being controlling here, but you can be controlling by insisting on criticism to the point that the other person will stop doing something just to stop the criticism, or because they doubt themselves. He doesn't have to forbid anything to be controlling.

Can't imagine OH saying anything about this other than phoarrr
It's my mother who would give me grief.

As well as the grief I get for being too fat, too frizzy, too mouthy....

To be fair, whether you find life more comfortable with or without a bra depends on your tits more than on your 'morals' or your politics. I find bras thoroughly uncomfortable except when I'm dancing, and I have a selection of mostly stretchy pull-on bras to wear for practice and performances, but otherwise I just don't bother.

Fash I'm the same. I was an A cup for years but after children I grew a bit...also now a 34B and always fail the pencil test too. Mine just sort of sit there...certainly no skin on skin underneath

I think that's passing the pencil test, not failing it, Ajas!

I'm an F cup (small back/band size, though, so not large breasts) and there is no skin on skin contact for me either without a bra, even at my advanced age (nearly fifty). I frequently go braless, especially if it's hot as I am far sweatier with a bra than without, and I honestly do not think it's noticeable at all. Like a lot of others, I think it is totally up to the owner of the breasts as to whether you wear a bra or not.

I've got 34 Ds and have never even owned a bra.

I BF'd for four years.

I've got pokey nipples, I couldn't give a shite

I've got pubes in my swimmers too. Couldn't give a shite about that either.

I'm with the majority here - your body your choice. Although I don't have nipples anymore after cancer treatment, when I did I would regularly not wear a bra, its much more comfortable and so long as you're not wearing with see through tops its perfectly fine.
Many men now days have man boobs which would be larger than my pre-mastectomy boobs...I don't see any public pressure for man bras.