to want to go braless even though DP disapproves?

[TikiMara]

Been with DP for 3 years. When I'm not at work I tend not to wear a bra. I have c cup boobs. Not tiny but not big either. I don't have significantly protruding nipples (not that it would matter if I did!). Problem is, I love going braless, it's so comfy and I just prefer it. DP hates it. Thinks it's inappropriate (no, I don't wear anything see through or massively booby). He thinks everyone is staring at my breasts (they're not) and I may as well be naked... AIBU to think, 'my boobs, my choice' ?

Burn it I say!

His reaction would tell us you're wearing the sort of tops which make it very obvious you're not wearing a bra.

This is your choice and if your happy with it so be it. But many people will find it slightly attention seeking or overly sexualised , just like if a man wears overly tight shorts where you can clearly see the bulge and outline of his bits.

It's your body, your call, but I'd just consider his point, why he is telling you and how much his opinion means to you.

If men were looking at your breasts that would be on them not you. Years ago I used to wear a wonder bra, total up and together. Men would talk to my breasts and not my face. I often go braless these days - and always at home - and sometimes men still look at them; so with bra, without bra, if a man wants to look at tits, he will look at tits no matter what is holding them up or not holding them up.

Your partner is way out of line and yanbu.

It's not inappropriate for people to see the natural shape/positioning of your breasts under a t-shirt. It's nothing like being naked, even if people do notice that, shock horror, you're a mammal with nipples. Your comfort is more important than your DP's misplaced sense of decency. He does not have the right to ask you to make yourself uncomfortable just because he has some hangups. I bet he dresses in comfortable clothes, does he? Definitely 100% your boobs, your choice! Tell him to stick it.

Aside from a short period of experimentation and nipple shame as a teenager, I've never worn a bra. Not at work, not while breastfeeding, not ever. I found them horribly uncomfortable and they offer no benefits to me so I'm just not interested. My DP has never made a single comment about this.

Well to be fair the partner did not specify men, he said everyone and if a woman with c cup breasts came in with a top that made it obvious she was braless, I'd prob also have an involuntary look and I'm a straight female.

So I don't think it's about "men looking at tits"

I'd also say if a bloke came in wearing trousers where his package was clearly outlined I'd also prob glance at that. And not with any form of sexual desire.more 🤮

I don't wanna see someone's nipples when I'm going about my grocery shop thank you very much. Keep it to yourself in the privacy of your own home.

bridesmaidinchief love the My Dad Wrote a Porno reference there

My mum won't even wear a non padded bra after my dad gave her years of these sorts of comments about her nipples being "on display", that blokes would stare, that people would think she was "up for it", that she was dressing "inappropriately", etc.

I've no clue how she raised 3 girls to not be ashamed of their nipples but we came out of it unscathed and often try and point out to her that EVERYONE has nipples. "Oh well your dad made me feel self conscious" (and this was with a bra on, but not a padded one). "Oh I HAVE to have a padded bra, so you know, my nipples don't show." As if they're something dirty and shameful.

My dad had issue with this like your DP. My dad is a controlling, abusive, sexist, arsehole that none of us have anything to do with. My mum hasn't lived with my dad for about 25 years and she still lives with this self consciousness about showing her fucking nipples, it makes me furious.

My advice is wear what you want, ignore him and seriously consider if you want to end up like my mum, with no self esteem and ashamed of having breasts and nipples.

I'm rather large in the boob department so prefer to have a bra on, but when I take it off for bed my DP doesn't comment either way, other than an acceptable compliment e.g. "nice boobs".

If I'm at home I'm braless 99% of the time. My dh would never comment on my saggy tits being obvious.

Good lord, does he think it's 1963 or something? I'd tell him to mind his own fucking business, frankly.

He clearly doesn't give a shit about your comfort, which isn't a nice trait in a partner imo.

I wish my tits would let me go bra-less, horrid massive saggy twats that they are

(DP would know better than to comment either way!)

I don't wanna see someone's nipples when I'm going about my grocery shop thank you very much. Keep it to yourself in the privacy of your own home.
Are you serious? You are offended by the outline of a woman's nipples?
That's your problem, not the other woman's.

I only ever wear a bra under very revealing evening wear. At all other times by 36C's are free to to move as they want and if anyone like you expressed an opinion on that they would soon get told to mind their own business. But not in those words.

Wear or don't wear what you want OP.

I'm sure you don't control what your DH wears so don't let him control you.

Created an account just so I could reply to this one!
I have a similar thing with my partner - I don't really need to wear a bra but he seems to think everyone will be staring at my nips the whole time when I go out of the house (they don't). my reply is always "Noone is going to be shocked to find out that I have nipples" and generally just live my best braless life.

Men tend to look at my arse, I can’t exactly do anything about that unless I wear a big sack. If you don’t want to wear a bra that is your choice, he can’t tell you what to wear.

He thinks everyone is staring at my breasts (they're not)

Could someone have said something to him to make him say what he has?

Not saying he is right, purely wondering what suddenly motivated this.

If you saw me in a shop or other public location and thought it was appropriate to stare at my chest, you might well notice that I have nipples. You would not see my nipples because they'd be covered by a t-shirt, but it might be evident that, like all humans (all mammals), I do in fact possess nipples. I am not ashamed to have nipples and I like to be comfortable.

Boobs ≠ genitals.

I don't wanna see someone's nipples when I'm going about my grocery shop thank you very much. Keep it to yourself in the privacy of your own home. DFOD
Op, it's an item of underwear. Do you tell him whether he should wear boxers or some other pants or that he can't go anywhere without pants on under his clothes? No? Thought not. Then he doesn't get to tell you what you can and can't wear under your clothes, either. No-one's business but your own.

It's up to you what you wear OP, but if you think nobody looks then you're mistaken.

YANBU. It's your body, they're your boobs. He can fuck off trying to police what you wear

This x 10

I always think this is such a bizarre discussion. To me bras are just like any other bit of clothing. I always wear one as really don’t want them swinging all over the place - big boobs - but if you don’t want it or feel like you need it why bother? It’s like people having really strong opinions on whether you’ve got socks on.

It’s like people having really strong opinions on whether you’ve got socks on.

Exactly, except all the strong opinions are always on one side. It would be like if some people didn't like wearing socks themselves but didn't really give a second thought as to whether other people were wearing socks or not. And some people thought everyone should wear socks because going sockless is lewd and attention-seeking.

It's because it's a specifically female item of clothing. People love policing women's appearances (both men and other women).

Hate bras, totally with you.
However my pancake boobs don’t look good under a t-shirt with nothing. I recently discovered the low impact sport bras (tkmaxx - like a crop top, so comfy) and I’m never going back.
But I realise this is AIBU - YANBU.

Do you tell him whether he should wear boxers or some other pants or that he can't go anywhere without pants on under his clothes

I think that's an odd comparison. Because unless he is wearing very tight or light trousers you couldn't tell. The same for tops of going braless and he's saying you can easily tell.

I guess for me, it's up to thr individual what they show in public but I personally find It more tasteful to not have your breasts swinging around, nipples visible, arse crack out, camel toe on display or dick and balls clearly outlined.

However in the world of mumsnet I'm clearly prudish 🤣🤣🤣