To wonder why people stay Mrs after divorce?

[TrainsandDiggers]

Linked to the other popular thread (which I apologise I have not been able to read all of, so this may be repeating somewhat...) I’ve often wondered why some women chose to remain known as Mrs after divorce. Even if they want to keep their surname, why the title?

(No judgement on anyone who does this btw - just genuinely curious).

Because that’s what my documents all said, that’s what I’d been called for years and I don’t much care whether people know my marital status or not.

Because they WERE married.

I would assume because they’ve been Mrs for many years and are used to it?

I’m very happily married but if the worst happened I’m pretty sure I stay Mrs PostVoices as that’s who I have been for nearly half my life.

Because its easier than changing all paperwork, bank accounts and its what your known as

My mother wanted to stay married, she never wanted to divorce, she is a Catholic and genuinely believes that my dad will rejoin her in heaven because they were married before God and any subsequent marriage is null and void. She is his wife and will always be "his wife" until the day she dies and beyond into perpituity. She retains Mrs Dadsname and always will.

(I personally think she's as daft as a box of frogs, but hey ho...)

Because it was a pita to change my name in the first place. I’m not going to go through all the faff of doing it all over again just because the man I married decided to shag his secretary.

Because lots don't like Ms and reverting to Miss seems silly.

I think I would stick with Mrs.

I kept my surname so it was the same as my children. I didn't want to be Miss + married surname so I just left it as Mrs.

Often I will say Ms if asked when filling in forms, but haven't bothered to change all my bank or services accounts. My mum stayed as Mrs + her married name so I guess I grew up with it as the norm too.

I'm not overly fond of my married surname but I like having the same name as my children.

As well as not wanting the hassle of changing paperwork, my mum kept Mrs and her married surname because it was her name. It had been her name and title for nearly her entire adult life. She was married at 19 and divorced at 45.

Because it's my name and has been for years. What would you like me to call myself? Ms? Hate it! And it sounds ridiculous with my surname! Miss? No, I'm not a miss! Go back to my maiden name? No, I don't want to have a different name to my children.

Why does it affect you in any way shape or form?

I think for me if I got a divorce it would honestly be out of pure laziness to avoid changing every document.

Mixed reasons for me, some I even recognise as a bit daft to others!
A. I didn’t want the hassle of changing it having gone through the hassle of the divorce. I just wanted to get on with my new life.
B. I wanted the same surname as by child.
C. I realised I felt no less “me” whatever my name was. A rose by any other name etc...
D. Rather pathetically at the time as I had HUGE self esteem issues - being a Mrs meant someone had once thought enough of me to marry me so I wasn’t totally unlovable. Sad I know.

However I have start feeling that I will one day move back to my maiden name. In a few years when children are gown. I want to eventually die as me - a bit dramatic but how I feel!

Kept surname so that it would be same as my child's.
Kept Mrs as that's who I identified as after being called that for many years. I felt too old to be miss and I don't like ms

I worked with someone who got divorced and reverted to her maiden name and then got married again all in the space of 18 months.

Her relationships were played out on the staff email system. Everyone had an opinion about who she was shagging. She was a respected colleague who was turned into a sexual spectacle because of her name changes.

It was such a shame.

Without getting into a brouhaha it remains your legal title.

I’m Ms apart from on bank stuff. Can’t be bothered to change it!

In the past many older unmarried women were referred to as Mrs. It was a sign of their maturity, adulthood and as a measure of respect.

I can understand why they may not want to go back to being a Miss again. They may have been Mrs XXX for several years and just feel it is their name. If they have churn they may want to retain their surname to have the same name as their children. To be Miss XXX may feel strange as it has never been their name. Many women don't like the title Ms as an abbreviation - it doesn't make a 'word' as such, just a couple of sounds.

Personally I wonder whether we should be like males - one title for when underage (Master) and then Mr as an adult. Maybe it should be Miss for girl, then Mrs once their become adults.

I hadn’t thought about the paperwork side of things. Makes sense.

Beyond - your Mum sounds a very sweet lady. Interestingly, my MIL became a catholic POST-divorcing her first husband and before marrying her second, despite both husbands being atheists! I’ve often thought that was an interesting choice.

Esme - not sad at all. Makes perfect sense and is true.

Mouse - how unfortunate! Poor woman! Hadn’t considered that before.

Aragog - I agree with the age-determinate title!

Married or divorced, a woman may use the title Mrs. with her first and last names.
Tradition held that a married woman should use the title Mrs. only in conjunction with her husband’s name, not her own—”Mrs. Arthur Reynolds” rather than “Mrs. Susan Reynolds.” A divorced woman used Mrs. followed by her maiden name and former husband’s last name: “Mrs. Hughes Reynolds.”
But societal changes gradually made this practice seem a relic from another time. Today it is acceptable for both married and divorced women to be referred to by their first names after the title Mrs., as in “Mrs. Susan Reynolds.”

A married woman can choose to be addressed as either “Mrs. Susan Reynolds” or “Mrs. Arthur Reynolds.”

In the case of a divorced woman, “Mrs. Arthur Reynolds” is no longer an option. If she retains her former husband’s last name (and many women do so that their surname will be the same as their children’s) then Mrs. [or Ms.] Susan Reynolds is correct. If she reverts to her maiden name, Ms. is the correct title, as in “Ms. Susan Hughes.”

I kept my married name because it was easier for people to spell, but I then had children and they have my maiden name so I have to revert back at some point but its a ballache.

NewYear - that’s so interesting! Thank you for sharing. I was wondering what the formal name conventions are in this situation. Seems they have changed over time.

It's safer and tidier to have your name the same as your children's

i'm getting divorced. currently Mrs myname-hisname. Planning on being Mrs Myname. not keen on Ms, or Miss in my fifties with two children.

Will keep married name as to much hassle to change it, it's the same as my children, l like it and it will annoy my ex to keep it as he made his first wife revert back to jer maiden name