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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He says I'm weird about food.

245 replies

Russet56 · 13/05/2018 13:09

My husband has a habit of eating any food he happens across, raw ingredients are usually safe from him but any food that can be eaten straight from the fridge or cupboard is fair game. He says it's just food, it's meant to be eaten, I can always buy more and if I object I'm "being weird about it". Thing is it's very often something I've bought for a specific reason. Matters came to a head yesterday because I'd bought some Manchego cheese for a recipe I was making, he knew this because he commented that I don't often buy Manchego and I told him what it was for. When I went to get it from the fridge he'd removed the waxy rind and put it back in the packaging but the cheese was gone, he freely admitted eating it and could see nothing wrong with it. Putting the packaging back is one of the things he does, I'm always finding empty packets carefully put back in place.

He's always been what I would call competitive about food in a schoolboyish kind of way. Stuff like eating his dinner as fast as possible then helping himself off my plate. I've tried giving him ever bigger and bigger portions but he still does this. If he asks for a bite of my sandwich he'll cram the whole thing in his mouth, if I don't give him any he says I'm hoarding and "being weird about food" Mostly I'm just hungry! I don't begrudge him the food if he really needs it but it's frustrating to plan a meal then find I can't cook it in quite the way I intended because he's eaten some crucial ingredient. Or knowing that I bought some biscuits that morning but going to the tin in the afternoon and being faced with the empty packet. AIBU?

OP posts:
Dobbythesockelf · 13/05/2018 13:10

He sounds like an arse and if anyone is being wierd about food it's him

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/05/2018 13:12

YANBU. It’s immature, inconsiderate and really unattractive.

You’re not weird. He is. And he’s trying to make you doubt yourself so he can carry on being weird and pathetic.

When he tries to take food off your plate what do you say? “Don’t you dare touch my food”? It’s YOUR food when it’s on your plate.

maxthemartian · 13/05/2018 13:13

Stab his hand with a fork if he tries to steal the food off your plate. The greedy fuck.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 13/05/2018 13:14

He sounds awful! I’m sure thi will prompt you to reply with “in other ways he is absolutely lovely”.

Ickyockycocky · 13/05/2018 13:14

I think you need to put your cards on the table with him. Either he behaves like an adult or you will LTB.

Sparklesocks · 13/05/2018 13:14

He sounds really childish, it’s really disrespectful to eat something you know someone was saving and then shove the packaging back in the fridge as if nothing happened. Similarly eating your entire sandwich after asking for a single bite sounds like a weird power thing, he’s literally taking food off you as if he is more deserving! That isn’t normal, or a nice way to treat your partner.

Racecardriver · 13/05/2018 13:16

Do you have children or can you divorce him? He is a class A man child (and also a bit gross). I would look to get rid of him.

WorraLiberty · 13/05/2018 13:16

Christ, even my dog doesn't act like that and she's only 9 months old!

thetriangleisarealinstrument · 13/05/2018 13:16

from what you have written it sounds like he is the one being weird about food!
Its disrespectful to eat or drink something you know your partner has bought for a specific reason to make something or to give to someone etc
This would wind me right up and id probably have shouted at him.... but thats not very useful advice for you! I very much dont think you are being unreasonable. Id perhaps take a firmer line on it and not being gaslighted into thinking its you with the problem.... because it really is not. If he wants some of your sandwich but you want to eat it just say 'no' and then switch off for whatever bullshit he spouts about hoarding.

DarthArts · 13/05/2018 13:18

He sounds really quite unpleasant.

Sounds like it's some kind of power game he's playing.

It's akin to the school bully stealing dinner money from other kids.

I wouldn't indulge him. No - he can't have a "bite" of your sandwich. No he can't take food from your plate.

If he steals ingredients he can replace them. If he doesn't then frankly I'd cook for myself and not him.

AtrociousCircumstance · 13/05/2018 13:19

He’s the weird one. Selfish greedy weirdo.

Highhorse1981 · 13/05/2018 13:19

I’m guessing you’re both overweight?

There seems to be a somewhat unhealthy obsession with food here

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 13/05/2018 13:21

That sounds awful. Truly. I couldn’t be with someone like that.

fuzzyfozzy · 13/05/2018 13:21

How does he respond when he's sent to the shop each time for a missing ingredient?

KurriKurri · 13/05/2018 13:24

He sounds horrible, I certainly wouldn't be cooking anything for him. What a creep. My XH used to eat all the terat food and put the empty wrappers back in the cupboard - he thought is was hilarious that no one else got any of the nice things because he'd scoffed it all. Once he ate his way through a box of nice treats I was gradually collecting for Christmas so the kids could have a few chocolate bars etc ( we were on a low budget).

You aren't weird about food he is selfish, self absorbed and a nasty prick of man. And yes, it's not a food thing, it's power thing - he's letting you know your place - lower on the pecking order than him. You get the crumbs when he's finished eating.

Rainboho · 13/05/2018 13:24

I think he is playing power games. My ex used to change the temperature on the oven or hob whilst I was cooking - usually meaning the food was burned and he could tell me I was doing it wrong. Its very very subtly putting you in your box.

Stop cooking and shopping for him.

maxthemartian · 13/05/2018 13:25

Highhorse that was unnecessary and spiteful.

angieloumc · 13/05/2018 13:25

Gosh how rude highhorse! Where does the OP say or even intimate she's overweight?

rookiemere · 13/05/2018 13:26

You're not the one with the food problem OP.

Lilacwine1 · 13/05/2018 13:26

If I buy an item of food for a specific reason, or just because I want it for myself, I hide it in the cupboard, or back of the fridge and pile things in front of it.Wink

FrazzledAndFeelingIt · 13/05/2018 13:26

He is being weird about food.

EveningHare · 13/05/2018 13:27

This is really not normal

TeachesOfPeaches · 13/05/2018 13:27

Why does he go to the trouble of putting empty packets back together? How odd. Did he go to boarding school?

Bluntness100 · 13/05/2018 13:28

I'm afraid I'd have to agree. You're not the weird one, he is. Ha he ever tried to explain why he does it? Why he needs to take food off of others and have food that is not intended for him?

Was there something in his up bringing? His behavuour isn't normal.

MySoggyBottom · 13/05/2018 13:28

Oh wow!
He is a proper odd ball,OP.
LTB!