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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He says I'm weird about food.

245 replies

Russet56 · 13/05/2018 13:09

My husband has a habit of eating any food he happens across, raw ingredients are usually safe from him but any food that can be eaten straight from the fridge or cupboard is fair game. He says it's just food, it's meant to be eaten, I can always buy more and if I object I'm "being weird about it". Thing is it's very often something I've bought for a specific reason. Matters came to a head yesterday because I'd bought some Manchego cheese for a recipe I was making, he knew this because he commented that I don't often buy Manchego and I told him what it was for. When I went to get it from the fridge he'd removed the waxy rind and put it back in the packaging but the cheese was gone, he freely admitted eating it and could see nothing wrong with it. Putting the packaging back is one of the things he does, I'm always finding empty packets carefully put back in place.

He's always been what I would call competitive about food in a schoolboyish kind of way. Stuff like eating his dinner as fast as possible then helping himself off my plate. I've tried giving him ever bigger and bigger portions but he still does this. If he asks for a bite of my sandwich he'll cram the whole thing in his mouth, if I don't give him any he says I'm hoarding and "being weird about food" Mostly I'm just hungry! I don't begrudge him the food if he really needs it but it's frustrating to plan a meal then find I can't cook it in quite the way I intended because he's eaten some crucial ingredient. Or knowing that I bought some biscuits that morning but going to the tin in the afternoon and being faced with the empty packet. AIBU?

OP posts:
Cambionome · 13/05/2018 13:28

Exactly what Kurri said. This is really nasty, immature behaviour from an adult, op.
(Him not you, obviously!)

Plumsofwrath · 13/05/2018 13:28

Everything you’ve written sounds like a mother dealing with an unusually immature teenage boy. Very unattractive.

DarthArts · 13/05/2018 13:28

@Highhorse1981

That was nasty and there's no reason to believe that's the case.

It's not about food at all.

He's gas lighting her that she has an issue with food when in fact he's behaving like a bully by continually "controlling" what she eats by stealing her food.

pigsDOfly · 13/05/2018 13:29

He sound either really childish, unpleasant and disrespectful or slightly unhinged tbh. I can really decide which.

kaitlinktm · 13/05/2018 13:30

Agree with pp - he is the one being weird and hoarding. Well, hoarding in that he hoards the food in his stomach before you get a chance to have any. It is selfish behaviour - would he eat off anyone's plate, or just yours? What would he do if you tried to eat off his plate? Does he do this in restaurants?

Do you have DC? Would/does he do this with their food/treats/presents?

TBH, I couldn't be bothered with this.

In the short term I would lock things away or keep stuff in my car, but really, it's just not on.

Eliza9917 · 13/05/2018 13:31

Your husband is an arsehole.

I'd be lacing things with laxatives to teach him a lesson.

Rachie1973 · 13/05/2018 13:31

I don't think you're the 'weird' one.

Taking the ingredients is shit.

Taking food off your plate is just wrong without an invite, ie 'try this!'

Taking a whole sandwich instead of a bite is rude, greedy and just gross quite honestly.

letsdolunch321 · 13/05/2018 13:32

If he took food off my plate, I would stab him so hard with the knife & fork - this is dreadful behaviour. Was he deprived of food as a child

cushioncovers · 13/05/2018 13:34

He is the one with the problem with food which I would guess stems back to childhood. My exh had boundary issues on many things including food. He would even eat the kids Easter eggs. Does your dh have any other compulsive tendencies issues? Gambling? Porn? Overspending? Unable to say no to things?

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 13/05/2018 13:34

If anyone tried to take my food off my plate they would be told to fuck off and if they persisted I would literally fork them in the hand.

As for the manchego, replace it and cook the meal only for yourself.

He is at best in inconsiderate weirdo and at work trying to control you. If he didn't stop this I would actually LTB.

CAAKE · 13/05/2018 13:34

So did you send him to the shops to replace the cheese in time for you to use it in your recipe? If not, why not?

lljkk · 13/05/2018 13:35

Sounds like your husband has an eating disorder. I'd wonder about bulemia if someone I lived with did all that.

DarthArts · 13/05/2018 13:37

Eating disorder?

No. He's got a personality disorder and it's called being a controlling asshole.

BrutusMcDogface · 13/05/2018 13:37

He's greedy and rude.

PositivelyPERF · 13/05/2018 13:38

Put a nice big bar of laxative chocolate in a different wrapper, in the fridge and tell him it’s not to be touched, as it’s something you need later. When he gets the shits, tell him he needs to stop stealing food like a child. When he tells you that you’re weird, point out to him that stealing food and eating your food would suggest that he has an eating disorder. I’m not being funny, BTY.

Either he has a problem or, more likely, he’s using this as a form of bullying you. I feel quite ill reading about his greedy behaviour.

CiderwithBuda · 13/05/2018 13:38

I could not live with that. Do you have children? How is he with their food if so?

Socrates73 · 13/05/2018 13:38

I’m guessing you’re both overweight?

There seems to be a somewhat unhealthy obsession with food here

Highorse ...... wtf????
There's no need.

Op this is one of those threads where we can comment only on what you tell us. He sounds like he has little respect for you and it makes me wonder if there are other areas where he treats you like this?
If he's an otherwise lovely husband then he sounds as if he has real issues around food and needs to seek some sort of therapy.

PorkyPortia · 13/05/2018 13:39

That would really piss me off

Realistica · 13/05/2018 13:40

I don't know how – or why – people live with people like this.

vampirethriller · 13/05/2018 13:41

That's something my brother would have done when he was 8.

Branleuse · 13/05/2018 13:41

He is definitely the one with a weird relationship with food. Was he brought up in poverty/scarcity?

Ellendegeneres · 13/05/2018 13:42

Fucking hell how unattractive

FannyFifer · 13/05/2018 13:42

This is weird as fuck behaviour.

DisturblinglyOrangeScrambleEgg · 13/05/2018 13:43

Bloody hell OP - no, he's the one that's weird about food! My kids get to nab stuff off my plate (in a considerate, affectionate manner - not because they're entitled to it - it's friendly, not selfish!), but DP would wait to be offered/take no for an answer!

And as to eating stuff from the fridge bought for a specific recipe, that they (DP or the kids) was aware of - well, I'd be quite rightly pretty angry and it would only happen once!

And putting the packaging back? That's wierd and inconsiderate on every level - and beyond the frustration I get from DP leaving the little bit off the top of the milk-bottle on the side, or putting back the milk with just a sip left! That's really, really odd behaviour, and if he's doing it on purpose, can only be to mess with your head on purpose, which is beyond unpleasant

MirriVan · 13/05/2018 13:47

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