To find them charmingly terrible hosts?

[TheDeuteragonist]

I've gone away for the weekend with my soon to be in laws while DP is away for the weekend.

I'll preface this by saying they are wonderful people who do a lot for us and our DD, I just find the way they are to be quite amusing!

So we are staying in a static caravan. They've had this van for years and come every weekend when it's open. Me and DD and my nephew have tagged along for the weekend.

We got here last night and all of us went to the pub, kids ran around and we had a few drinks. All good. At about 9pm me and MIL walked the kids home and got them in pyjamas. I offered to sleep in the living room and give the kids the room (2 &3), so we got them off to bed. Then MIL went to bed leaving me to fend for myself. She didn't tell me where any bedding was, nor how to pull the sofa bed out. I've actually only just discovered it does pull out after FaceTiming DP!

Then, this morning I got up with the kids which made sense as I was in the living room. Made them toast, etc. They get up and we have a nice hour or so drinking tea.

FIL then goes off to do his hobby and MIL and I go for a walk with the kids. We end up in a market she always go to so we walked around. MIL goes off and buys some bits, me and DD browse. Then back to the van.

At lunchtime MIL asks me if the kids want some lunch. I say they probably will and she just stares at me so I trot off to the kitchen and whip something up for them. She then goes to the fridge and pulls out a pie, which she makes for herself and eats. No mention of what I might eat so I offer to buy everyone an ice lolly and get myself a sandwich while I'm at the shop. To be fair, there was stuff for me to make something but I just felt so awkward I did that instead.

Then dinner time comes around. We have pizza and chips. One pizza between 5 of us, which is cool, and about 6 chips each but they've cooked and included me so I'm happy enough. For dessert, kids and FIL have a yoghurt and MIL pulls out a trifle that she eats and doesn't offer to anyone else! FIL offers me a yogurt though!

I told them to go out tonight and I'd have the kids so I've sorted my bed, located no less than 3 sleeping bags and 2 blankets so I don't freeze like last night and helped myself to a few of MIL's snacks that I found hidden away!

I'll say again, this is light hearted as I love them to bits and they probably don't view me as a 'guest' as such but a member of the family who will fend for themselves. Which in itself is lovely. But damn I would have killed for some trifle!

AIBU to think they are charmingly bad at hosting?

Agree though that I would have been more direct (you are a better person than me OP)
'Sorry MIL, can you tell me where I am sleeping? Ok, how do you pull the bed out, where is the bedding?'
'Oh I thought you said you had food covered! One pizza won't feed all of us, I'll pop to the shops and stock up'.
Completely get that you wanted to keep the peace though

It is a shame the bed wasn't opened but the rest suggests they are very relaxed with you. Knowing the food situation you can deal with it. I am staying at my dil overnight to babysit. there will be no food. I take my own. If the relationship is good, take a bow and enjoy it. Some people are more hospitable but better the way it is yìthan overbearing fussiness so you cant relax

‘If someone comes to stay with me I might offer them some food’

Also gobsmacked!

There weren't three of them! There was the OP and her child. The other child was the nephew.

So you made breakfast for your children

No, one was her child, the other was her nephew, in charge of his grandparents.

I would find them horrifically rude. I do make cups of tea and coffee, and help with the cooking at the PIL's, but I've been invited to and shown where things are. (My MIL has a holy calling to feed people but that's another story).
The least they could have done was show you where things were, and let you know what to bring. The tirfle thing was rude too - she could offer you some, then you'd know it was OK to help yourself.

My parents taught me manners, so I wouldn't dream of making myself food and NOT offering to make any for the other people around. Even if we'd had a discussion where it was decided that everybody fends for themselves, I'd still ask.

I wonder why MIL expected OP to sort out food for the nephew, seeing as he had gone with his grandparents.

I also wonder what MIL reaction would have been, if OP had eaten the pie, seeing as MIL had said OP didn't need to bring any food as she'd got everything in, and it seemed to be a case of fending for yourself with the food provided.

I don't find the inlaws charming, but lacking in manners, and I'm gobsmacked at some of the stories on here, including the poster who "might" offer her guests some food!

"including the poster who "might" offer her guests some food!"

What I mean is that when someone comes to stay we generally go out to eat. I also give people the option of going to the supermarket. I don't let them starve, but I also don't necessarily think that the only way for them to eat is for me to cook for them, not least because I don't cook.

First time a friend was around I was making myself sandwiches and asked him if he wanted any. He said 'is that all you're having?' so I presumed from that question that male guests are likely to want more food that I would be having in the evening. Since then I've always suggested going out.

My OH’s parent’s class me as family and tell me to help myself to whatever I want... but always make sure I’m offered food at mealtimes and a drink if anyone’s making!