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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeding workmen etiquette??

225 replies

Snowcatrunsthehouse · 09/05/2018 14:22

Please help me I appear to have failed.
We are currently having some work done on our house that will take approximately 6 weeks. It’s one man doing the job and I have regularly supplied tea, coffee and icey drinks.
But today he is dropping hints about people who make him bacon sandwiches in the morning and cook him stews etc???

I did a night shift last night I only got up to collect my toddler from pre school and haven’t even eaten myself since yesterday evening. I would never even normally have bacon in the house let alone cook anything big at lunch. I was asking if he wanted a drink when he started telling me he had been to the old lady up the road for lunch. Blush
I feel bad and really don’t know what is expected of me.
For context I work part time in a very demanding job whilst juggling 3 children I am rarely at home for long as taking toddler to classes etc doing school runs or I’m working or asleep post work. I’m also an introvert who hates having people in the house so I accept I may have failed here on etiquette. I was more than happy suppling good coffee when I’m here,
So please wise people what am I meant to be offering the man doing the roof??? Btw I’m not a good cook! Is getting the kids to make him cakes acceptable? Confused

OP posts:
KinkyAfro · 09/05/2018 14:23

No way would I feed them, I've made a brew first thing but I wouldn't keep them supplied all day

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 14:24

Don’t feel bad at all! I’ve never fed a tradesman and any that expected me to would be in for a shock.

He’s a chancer. Don’t feel you even have to give him cakes!

Ohyesiam · 09/05/2018 14:25

He is a chancer! I bet he got a bacon roll once and has hoped for more ever since.
You are doing right with the drinks, he can feed himself, just say “ ah” every time he hints.

WineAndTiramisu · 09/05/2018 14:25

Definitely not! I usually make tea/coffee for them, and occasionally a packet of biscuits, but I certainly wouldn't cook for them!

Mrsglitterfairy · 09/05/2018 14:26

Ooh he’s being a cf. My DH works in a lot of houses sometimes for a few hours, sometimes a few days. The only thing he would expect is a cold drink, a tea/coffee and some biscuits always goes down a treat but in reality nothing is needed from you. I do think if someone is in your house all day it is nice to make sure they don’t go thirsty but anything else is a bonus.
When we had gardeners in for a few days last summer I gave them a plate of biccies and jugs of juice to keep them going while I was out of the house

theduchessstill · 09/05/2018 14:26

Absolutely ridiculous if he was hinting that. He's there to work and you're paying him. Offering a drink and showing how he can help himself to drinks and biscuits is as much as I would ever do.

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 09/05/2018 14:27

I have on occasion offered a workman something if I am making something already. For instance making a ham sandwich for lunch and I would offer them a ham sandwich. It has always been met with surprise because no it's not normal for this (Tho they have never turned it down either). Drinks are all you need to do.

TheDramaLlama · 09/05/2018 14:27

No need to offer food at all. You’ve already been hospitable, but don’t feel the need to constantly wait on him. You could point out where there kettle is etc and tell him to help himself and if he mentions food, give directions to nearest cafe/shop if he hasn’t brought his own.

Would he ask the same of a man in this position? I doubt it!

Puffycat · 09/05/2018 14:27

I think he’s being a right cheeky bugger!
Whenever we’ve had workmen in, I do the same as you, tea, coffee, cold drinks and biccies.
My guys would either go out for lunch to a cafe or bring a sandwich or something.
I’d expect them to have breakfast before they came in the morning.
If you give in and provide him with food, you’ll be doing it for the next 6 weeks!😳

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 14:27

mrsglitterfairy I assume it’s badly worded and your husband doesn’t “expect” anything? Hopes for maybe, but surely not expects.

areyoubeingserviced · 09/05/2018 14:27

We had one who was fixing our house and would ask us constantly for tea and biscuits.
Tbh, I resented the expectation that I should provide him with a constant supply of refreshments.

Topseyt · 09/05/2018 14:28

You don't have to offer him anything. He should have brought his own lunch.

If we have had builders or workmen in I just offer tea or coffee as and when I am making some but I don't make their lunch. In my experience they have all usually brought their own sandwiches, which is what I would expect.

Ignore the cheeky fucker.

kyrenialady · 09/05/2018 14:28

Nothing is expected of you. He is there to work not to be fed. I may offer a tea or a coffee.

Don't feel guilty.

KinkyAfro · 09/05/2018 14:28

I don't expect my work to provide me lunch, I take my own. There's no reason they can't

theycallmebabydriver · 09/05/2018 14:28

Sod that!

tea and coffee as a standard courtesy, a packet of biscuits if you're feeling generous.

NellytheElephant18 · 09/05/2018 14:28

What a massive CF he is - absolutely no way should you be making him food!

FookMeFookYou · 09/05/2018 14:29

He's taking the piss...offers of hot/cold drinks as appropriate is fine and even the odd biscuit if you have any. I've had plenty of contractors in during the renovation on my current home and I'm happy to keep them topped up if I happen to be in but if not they are under instruction to help themselves (to said drinks/biccies but nothing more). If it was someone coming back that I've used before and I happened to be making a bacon sandwich then I'd offer but don't be doing anything special.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 09/05/2018 14:29

I have fed builders but only the odd pack of biscuits and I've done bacon rolls as a sort of mini celebration when we've reached the end of a build when the roof and windows were finished.

All workman I've had doing a longish project have tended to have a day of the week when they all disappear to the local cafe for a hour to have lunch or breakfast together.

I did have one guy who was here for a day putting up fences. He cheekily asked for ham sandwiches to go with his tea! I did make some but I remember thinking it was a cheeky request.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 09/05/2018 14:30

I don't think that's normal at all. I usually (we've moved and renovated a LOT) offer frequent drinks and occasional snacks so if I was cooking bacon I'd offer a sandwich, one time DH got McDonald's as we offer the builder a meal. In return though I've had builders grab me something from a cafe (when doing up a kitchen so I couldn't get myself anything)

Zcarter · 09/05/2018 14:30

My partner used to be a tradesman. Sometimes (rarely) they would be fed but it’s not the standards xx

LastOneDancing · 09/05/2018 14:32

Meh. Cheeky fucker. Would you expect your boss to bring you a sandwich? Course not.

Ignore. He'll be gone soon enough.

Elphame · 09/05/2018 14:32

I always offer tea/coffee and occasionally biscuits but that is it!

Knittedfairies · 09/05/2018 14:33

The last lot of workmen were here for over a fortnight; there were half a dozen at times, so bacon sandwiches would have been an undertaking. I offered tea or coffee on the first day, which they declined as they had flasks and bottled water. Your man is trying it on.

HundredsAndThousandsOfThem · 09/05/2018 14:33

I think they can expect tea, biscuits and cold drinks (or at least water). Anything else is a bonus.

twoorangesandabanana · 09/05/2018 14:35

We had a builder in for 2 months and only gave him coffee, teas, (sometimes biscuits and the odd cake which he generally refused). He brought a packed lunch each day and was definitely happy with that. We had in electricians and plumbers at this time too and they did the same. He's being cheeky.