Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeding workmen etiquette??

225 replies

Snowcatrunsthehouse · 09/05/2018 14:22

Please help me I appear to have failed.
We are currently having some work done on our house that will take approximately 6 weeks. It’s one man doing the job and I have regularly supplied tea, coffee and icey drinks.
But today he is dropping hints about people who make him bacon sandwiches in the morning and cook him stews etc???

I did a night shift last night I only got up to collect my toddler from pre school and haven’t even eaten myself since yesterday evening. I would never even normally have bacon in the house let alone cook anything big at lunch. I was asking if he wanted a drink when he started telling me he had been to the old lady up the road for lunch. Blush
I feel bad and really don’t know what is expected of me.
For context I work part time in a very demanding job whilst juggling 3 children I am rarely at home for long as taking toddler to classes etc doing school runs or I’m working or asleep post work. I’m also an introvert who hates having people in the house so I accept I may have failed here on etiquette. I was more than happy suppling good coffee when I’m here,
So please wise people what am I meant to be offering the man doing the roof??? Btw I’m not a good cook! Is getting the kids to make him cakes acceptable? Confused

OP posts:
MeMyShelfandIkea · 09/05/2018 15:28

I usually supply hot drinks and biscuits, and offer them a sandwich and crisps if I think they're doing a good job and I can see they're taking care with my carpets, work surfaces or whatever. I once offered some decorators a box of mini stollen left over from Christmas, I've never seen eyes light up so quickly!

Furano · 09/05/2018 15:31

I'd be a bit worried about someone so useless they couldn't make themselves a sarnie before leaving home. Doesn't say much about their skills, problem solving or initiative as a trades person.

Wheresthebeach · 09/05/2018 15:33

That would piss me off no end. Just ignore it.

Show him the kettle, leave tea out. End of.

expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 15:33

I got flamed on the last thread like this for not feeding people who come to work in my home. Really? I don't expect my clients to feed me. I'm there to work for them in return for payment. I don't do a lesser job for a client because they didn't also wait on me, feed me, make me cups of hot drinks. FFS.

I supply a kettle, milk, instant tea and coffee and a pack of biscuits per day and they help themselves.

Anyone who comes in and immediately ask what letter comes after S or orders me to put the kettle on gets pointed to the kettle whilst I get on the phone to their supervisor to tell them they've a CF for an employee. It's not banter, it's rude.

Just ignore his hints. He's a CF.

mrjoepike · 09/05/2018 15:33

rarely have indoor work done.it usually a quick repair but will offer coffee or water.
out doors here is 33c by noon,everyone brings thier own beverages.if a long day i will put out a pot of coffee and iced water.with some cookies/bisquits or whatever i have been baking.
my tree trimmers/cutters will often work thru the noon meal to get it done and appreciate a snack and drink.
indoor work is done by friends and family-the deal is pay for all materials and a big meal as a thank you.works out great
would not offer a meal to regular repairmen tho

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 15:36

I always have a breakfast selection and rolls ready in the morning, and always cook them a lunch (stew, soups, roast chicken with bread or whatever).

But I run my business so when I get work done, I take the time off and am just sitting around the house. I also grew up on a farm and there was always food on the table for people working.

My dad was the same - always cooked for them. I think it's bizarre not to feed them because they don't have any other options. But I've been harpooned on here for feeding workmen before so apparently most people are rather stingy.

adaline · 09/05/2018 15:38

I think it's bizarre not to feed them because they don't have any other options.

They can do what 95% of the workforce do, and take lunch with them! I've never worked in a job that provides free meals (tea and coffee, yes, but not food).

diddl · 09/05/2018 15:40

" they don't have any other options. "

Confused
expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 15:40

And no, don't get your kids to bake for him. He'll take the p and try to rope them into waiting on him.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 15:41

@adaline

I just think it's bizarre because I grew up with the total opposite. Farm work is hard, and they were always fed a proper meal. When people are in doing building work, I think they deserve the same courtesy. It's just how I was raised - and it's not a sexist thing. I watched my dad always feed them, not my mum.

TomRavenscroft · 09/05/2018 15:41

I think it's bizarre not to feed them because they don't have any other options.

Packed lunch?
Local cafe?

QueenOfMyWorld · 09/05/2018 15:41

He's a cheeky git lol.lll make a brew a couple of times per day but def no food

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 15:42

avasarla If you work, do you expect your employer to feed you? And if you don’t work would you expect it? Probably not so why are tradesmen any different?

expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 15:43

'But I've been harpooned on here for feeding workmen before so apparently most people are rather stingy.'

It's never occurred to you that a lot of people are sailing fairly close to the wind with regards to their own finances and cannot afford to put on extra meals for other people they are paying to work for them in addition to the fee for the work Hmm? Or they don't have time to make breakfast and lunch for extras? Just a thought.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 15:43

When it's cold, crappy weather and they're working outside (I had them rebuild my garage and my home workshop), I personally don't think a sandwich is a good enough meal - you need something hot. And im not going to be selectige and say "youre working indoors so no food". I just feed them.

I can think that all I want - you can think the opposite.

fleshmarketclose · 09/05/2018 15:44

I provide the first tea, coffee or a cold drink then I leave everything out for them to help themselves alongside a tub of biscuits. I've had no complaints at that. There is no way I'd be feeding any workmen bacon rolls or stew.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 15:45

@Nicknacky

I'm my own employer... So technically my employer does feed me.

mommybear1 · 09/05/2018 15:45

No no no OP you are doing nothing wrong at all drinks only biscuits if they are nice! Do not make food I'm pretty sure your employer doesn't feed you so why should you feed him he is a CF of the highest order.

expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 15:46

Gah, my mate works as a home carer in a rural location. She doesn't even get paid for her travel time between clients. She has to take lunch and food and drink with her. I'll tell her that her clients or their families should be feeding her whilst she's there working because there aren't any other options. Confused

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 15:46

@TomRavenscroft

I live in the country. They'd be gone for about an hour and a half to go a cafe. And it's bloody cold - in my opinion, a hot meal is deserved.

namechange2222 · 09/05/2018 15:48

Ive had many trades people in and always offer hot and cold drinks and biscuits only. Once I was having some work which had a project manager attached, He said very clearly that I was not to make drinks for any of the workers, that their policy was they were on a strict schedule to complete certain jobs and they brought with them flasks and sandwiches. I must admit it was a relief not always hovering and asking if they wanted more drinks

TomRavenscroft · 09/05/2018 15:48

I'll say it again: Packed lunch?
Thermos of hot soup/stew/noodles would sort the 'they must have a hot meal' problem.

You can prefer to feed workmen if you like, but it is not 'bizarre' not to.

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 15:49

avasalara hypothetically then, would you expect employers to feed workers?

It’s lovely that you do but there is no way on earth I would be cooking meals for workers no matter what work they were doing.

OreoMini · 09/05/2018 15:50

I don’t make bacon rolls for myself in the morning so workmen have no chance!

Tea, coffee, cold drinks and biscuits is as far as I go.

Only once have I bought someone a lunch from our local sandwich shop and that was because he was a friend as well.

0lgaDaPolga · 09/05/2018 15:50

I have never fed workmen. I would offer them a tea or coffee when they arrive in the morning but the rest of the day I just leave the tea, coffee and sugar out and they help themselves.