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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeding workmen etiquette??

225 replies

Snowcatrunsthehouse · 09/05/2018 14:22

Please help me I appear to have failed.
We are currently having some work done on our house that will take approximately 6 weeks. It’s one man doing the job and I have regularly supplied tea, coffee and icey drinks.
But today he is dropping hints about people who make him bacon sandwiches in the morning and cook him stews etc???

I did a night shift last night I only got up to collect my toddler from pre school and haven’t even eaten myself since yesterday evening. I would never even normally have bacon in the house let alone cook anything big at lunch. I was asking if he wanted a drink when he started telling me he had been to the old lady up the road for lunch. Blush
I feel bad and really don’t know what is expected of me.
For context I work part time in a very demanding job whilst juggling 3 children I am rarely at home for long as taking toddler to classes etc doing school runs or I’m working or asleep post work. I’m also an introvert who hates having people in the house so I accept I may have failed here on etiquette. I was more than happy suppling good coffee when I’m here,
So please wise people what am I meant to be offering the man doing the roof??? Btw I’m not a good cook! Is getting the kids to make him cakes acceptable? Confused

OP posts:
TomRavenscroft · 09/05/2018 14:53

He's a chancer.

I've always offered coffee first thing, tea when I make it for myself (a couple of times a day), made sure people know I have a water filter jug in the fridge and some glasses, and lined up teabags, coffee, sugar and biscuits by the kettle and made it clear people are to help themselves whenever.

SundayGirls · 09/05/2018 14:53

You have to think, is workman not capable of bringing his own sandwiches and drinks? Of course he is! As are most of the other workers in the country. Do you get fed at work for free? Even those with a canteen have to pay, subsidised is very rare.

I make workmen tea, coffee, cold drinks and occasionally throw biscuits in if they are here for a good while. If I'm in the house they get offered a brew every 2 -2.5 hours or so, and of course they are free to use the bathroom. But most either bring a packed lunch or find the nearest cafe/chippy/McD/supermarket with sandwiches etc.

Smile and nod, keep offering a brew only. You shouldn't be paying to feed him.

Pebblespony · 09/05/2018 14:53

I presume you are paying him for his work. He's being a cf and sounds like a bit of a dick to be honest.

Juells · 09/05/2018 14:53

CF!

He sees you as a soft touch. I wouldn't even make someone a cup of tea, I'd show him the kettle.

19lottie82 · 09/05/2018 14:53

He’s chancing his arm (sorry I refuse to use the term “CF”, it makes me cringe!).

If I have workmen in my house then I’ll offer them a cuppa and a biscuit every couple of hours, and I think that’s more than they usually get. Lunch? No way.

Trinity66 · 09/05/2018 14:54

Cheeky fucker, you don't need to feed him :/

fourquenelles · 09/05/2018 14:54

No no no no. I show them where the tea, coffee etc is kept and tell them to help themselves when they want one. I have offered to make a sandwich in the past (as I was making one for myself) but all the tradespeople I have used to a man and woman have brought their own lunches. One firm insisted on sitting in their van for their lunch despite the offer of a kitchen table. Your chap is trying it on.

Uniglo18 · 09/05/2018 14:54

No hot food or sandwiches, just tea, coffee and a pack of tesco value biscuits!

Loonoon · 09/05/2018 14:56

Tea/coffee/squash biscuits etc is fine. My FIL, his brother and sundry other relations were all builders/joiners etc. When they worked for us I didn't even cook for them. They had their routine - get to the job about 8am to avoid traffic, then break for a huge cooked breakfast at the nearest caff about 10.30am (they were experts on every greasy spoon in South East London) and that would see them through until they knocked off about 4pm. With the odd tea break of course.

Your guy is a chancer - next thing he'll be telling you that lots of his customers greet him in sexy lingerie and invite him upstairs for some afternoon delight!

NobodysChild · 09/05/2018 14:57

He's testing the water and being a CF insinuating a bacon sarnie would be nice. If the woman down the road is happy feeding him, then he can frig off to hers at lunchtime. Tell him bacon sandwiches are £5 at your gaff. He can either pay upfront or have it docked from his pay.

Canoeeless2018 · 09/05/2018 14:58

We had the Samething one sat down at our table?Watched us eat Lunch (My Advice Give them Raw Bacon !!Soon send them back to work!!)I accidently made Tea without boiling the Kettle..Left the Teabag in also put milk in was the last time i had to make them a drink😜

sprinklesandsauce · 09/05/2018 14:59

As others have said, no you don't feed him.

Tea/coffee is pretty standard offer to tradesmen. Maybe a piece of cake or a biscuit if you are feeling generous, but it should never be expected. Most carry their own food and drinks with them.

Just ignore him or reply "that's nice for you"

MaryPoppinsUmberellaHandle · 09/05/2018 14:59

We receive Tea, Coffee, Biscuits or easy snack type treats and that's not an expectation, but it gratefully received.

I think it's a bit rude of him to want/expect to be fed too!

adaline · 09/05/2018 14:59

DP is a tradesman and gets offered tea/coffee or a cold drink if it's hot, but otherwise he takes his own food/drinks. He even comes home to use the toilet instead of asking to use theirs (MN would love him!)

He knows most people in our town and sometimes does get a sandwich or biscuits too. We also got offered free wood chip to use as cat litter recently as the lady didn't need it and just wanted it off her hands!

But expecting food and drink is definitely CF territory.

catbingo · 09/05/2018 15:03

I live in quite a large old house and seem to forever have people working on something here. 😖 My food : builder ratio has a direct correlation with how pleasant they are to have around, the quality of their work and how long they are going to be there. All builders get a cup of tea or coffee and maybe a bickie or two on arrival. Nice people doing a good job over a more extended period of time might get an occasional bacon sarnie, or if DD is baking then a few slices of cake etc. If it turns out they are rubbish then supplies are rather sparse after cuppa no. 1.

If am lucky enough to have one of these urns - useful if I have people working outside and I need to go out. I just it fill it up and plug into the outside plug and leave tea / coffee / milk cups etc out on the garden table for them so I can go out. It's got a 10l capacity and it always amazes me how fast they get through so much!!

pigsDOfly · 09/05/2018 15:06

Hell no. The last time I had workmen in my home they told me they all had flasks for their tea when I offered them a drink.

Perhaps word of my tea making 'skills' has become common knowledge and they just wanted to avoid drinking my tea, but I've never made food for anyone who has worked in my house.

dontstopthepeach · 09/05/2018 15:08

CF, definitely!

I have made bacon sandwiches for a couple of tradespeople who did some work for us - they had come to us on a Saturday to finish the job that had been running all week and had overrun slightly through no fault of their own. I was cooking bacon for us anyway so it was no trouble to cook a bit more for them. We appreciated them coming in to finish the job, and they've both done more work for us since.

StaplesCorner · 09/05/2018 15:09

Is he getting on with the work OK or does the CFuckery go beyond bacon?

MrsPMT · 09/05/2018 15:09

Definitely being cheeky, my DDad was a tradesman and was only ever fed when doing work for good friends/family. DBil same.
Cuppa and/or cold drink and a biscuit is plenty.

Rudgie47 · 09/05/2018 15:11

No just tea and coffee.
I once made a lad a chip sandwich who was putting a fence up and was here all day by himself. This is the only time though and was the exception.
If someone was hinting as badly as that Op I would tell them to stop being silly and that they needed to sort out their own food arrangements.

Missingstreetlife · 09/05/2018 15:13

Do you have a garage with electric socket? Leave a kettle, box of tea, jar of sugar, milk and packet of biscuits. Let the cheeky bugger get his own tea. He's got you down as a soft touch.

diddl · 09/05/2018 15:22

Of course you should feed him-because of all the other jobs where people get fed for free at work....

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 09/05/2018 15:26

Look at it this way - when you go to work, does your boss/employer make you lunch? No, you probably either buy your own or bring your own. I offer workmen tea or coffee once or twice a day - they often refuse (I probably give them biscuits if they do want a drink) but I wouldn't go further than that.

NewPapaGuinea · 09/05/2018 15:26

He needs a lunchbox and thermos!

What if you weren’t there during the day?

Furano · 09/05/2018 15:28

But today he is dropping hints about people who make him bacon sandwiches in the morning and cook him stews etc???

LOL

"I find your attitude sexist and unpleasant in that that you expect your paying client - because she is a woman - to be making you breakfast and lunch. I suggest you take a trip out of the 1950's and sort your own food out."