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Original poster

Feeding workmen etiquette??

225 replies

Snowcatrunsthehouse · 09/05/2018 14:22

Please help me I appear to have failed.
We are currently having some work done on our house that will take approximately 6 weeks. It’s one man doing the job and I have regularly supplied tea, coffee and icey drinks.
But today he is dropping hints about people who make him bacon sandwiches in the morning and cook him stews etc???

I did a night shift last night I only got up to collect my toddler from pre school and haven’t even eaten myself since yesterday evening. I would never even normally have bacon in the house let alone cook anything big at lunch. I was asking if he wanted a drink when he started telling me he had been to the old lady up the road for lunch. Blush
I feel bad and really don’t know what is expected of me.
For context I work part time in a very demanding job whilst juggling 3 children I am rarely at home for long as taking toddler to classes etc doing school runs or I’m working or asleep post work. I’m also an introvert who hates having people in the house so I accept I may have failed here on etiquette. I was more than happy suppling good coffee when I’m here,
So please wise people what am I meant to be offering the man doing the roof??? Btw I’m not a good cook! Is getting the kids to make him cakes acceptable? Confused

OP posts:
UserV · 09/05/2018 16:44

@Avasaral

Mumsnet is just full of very rude, inconsiderate people. In my real life, all the people in this village feed the folk in doing work. It's the norm. On here, it's an absolute no. Which I just don't understand.

Where are you from? 1803?

I wouldn't leave workmen in my house unsupervised. Doesn't matter how long you've known them cos there's always a new trainee. I don't know anyone who leaves them unsupervised, but obviously people do.

You obviously don't have a job. Some people do, and can't possibly stay in to supervise workmen.

I bet they think you're a pain in the arse; standing there gawping at them, following them around, and hindering them.

And I don't care if you are 'rural' ( - I am too - ) the workman should bring a packed lunch. And saying people are 'bizarre' or 'stingy' for not feeding workmen, makes you sound ridiculous.

wellBeehivedWoman · 09/05/2018 16:45

Don't feel bad! Tea and other drinks is more than enough. Maybe some people do make him rolls and stew but if so that's a lucky privilege, not something he should come to expect. He's an adult responsible for his own meals!

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 16:46

avalarsa I’m financially able and not particularly running round after small kids. I’m still not going to facilitate grown adults in not providing their own food.

I’m late shift tonight. Earlier I went to the supermarket and picked up a ready meal that I hope to heat up at some point tonight. My dinner, my responsibility.

If someone chooses to feed someone else that’s truly lovely but it doesn’t make people that don’t do it wrong.

starryflamingo · 09/05/2018 16:47

I provide tea and coffee or water, squash etc and some biscuits if it's a long project rather than just a quick plumbing fix or changing a lock or what have you. If they're in early in the morning and I'm making toast then I'll offer them a slice but that's it. the really rude miserable ones get fuck all though

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:50

@UserV

I do work. Very hard intact, and have paid off my mortgage by 28. I run my business. I take time off when I get work done. I appreciate others can't always do that, but I can so might as well cook.

fadingfast · 09/05/2018 16:51

I usually offer tea/coffee to anyone working on the house. Cold drinks as well if it's hot. Usually biscuits too if they are here for a few hours/days. Quality of the biscuits might depend on what I've got in (and whether I think they're doing a particularly good job Grin). Builder who was here for several weeks got particularly good biscuits and occasional home made cake. I had a decorator in once over the Christmas holidays while we were away and I left him some mince pies.

Absolutely would not provide lunch, cooked or otherwise.

Celebelly · 09/05/2018 16:51

Sure, I'll feed them –if they take the price of the food I make and the time I spend making it off their bill. If not, they can bring their own.

DoAsYouWouldBeMumBy · 09/05/2018 16:52

I always do drinks and biscuits, but though I'd be happy to feed workmen, they never seem to want my cooking Blush Tbf, I live very close to the high street and in a small town, so they mostly prefer to nip home for lunch. They are always very grateful for drinks etc, but I'm basically a feeder, so I secretly love it Grin

Lovemusic33 · 09/05/2018 16:53

I think it’s rude of him to suggest you cook his lunch. Why doesn’t he bring lunch with him? I’m sure most workmen go to work with a lunchbox? I would only offer food if I had cooked and there was something left over. Supplying tea and biscuits is fine but not a meal.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:53

@UserV

And how exactly am I gasping at them? I have quite a few rooms and they're all complete now. Just the new extensions getting done, so I'm on one side of the house - they are on the other. I leave them a kettle and all the stuff, then see them at lunch. But yes, I'm at home so much be following them around.

Celebelly · 09/05/2018 16:53

Also I work for myself so could easily 'take the time off' to do it. But why should I take time off or out of my leisure time to make food for grown men who are perfectly capable of feeding themselves? Bizarre.

RainbowFairiesHaveNoPlot · 09/05/2018 16:54

Most of the time any work we have done us by our neighbour has his wife passing cuppas and bacon sarnies over the fence on demand anyhow!

I do cuppas every couple of hours, biscuits if I have them in and that's about it.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:56

@Nicknacky

Does it make a difference that I also feed my staff? I have to hire during the Xmas season, and the business is run from an outhouse at mine. So they need to travel a fair bit. I'm too busy to do anything huge, so it's just a once pot meal in the slow cooker but it's there if anyone wants it. Or they can heat up their own stuff. It's just the way I am.

Greenglassteacup · 09/05/2018 16:56

What s cheeky fucker.

Greenglassteacup · 09/05/2018 16:56

A not s Grin

SparklyUnicornPoo · 09/05/2018 16:58

Dad used to come home occasionally and tell us about lovely meals he had been fed but it wasn't every day and not every customer.

I do remember him doing a job for a lovely lady who made him lunch and baked him a cake every single day (which he bought a slice home for me each time) but that was years ago and I still remember it so it can't have been a normal thing, he's also done lots of little jobs for her for free ever since so it was obviously a good investment Grin

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 16:58

avasalara I don’t particularly care if you do feed your staff. The thread is about tradesmen.

(Or a chance to brag about paying off your mortgage at 28 or that you have staff)

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:58

@Celebelly

For me, sitting around the house isn't leisure time. It's nice for a couple of hours, then I get bored.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:59

@Nicknacky

I got a snidey comment about how I must not bother to work, when I actually work damn hard.

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 17:01

It was a fairly reasonable question for the poster to ask as most people don’t have time to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for tradesmen and stay in while work is being done. But good to know about your mortgage!

bouncydog · 09/05/2018 17:03

We’ve had loads of work done over the years and I have never fed a workman. I leave tea, coffee and sugar and show them where the fridge is for milk. I also ask them not to put wet spoons in coffee or sugar and to leave their mugs in the sink. I put one mug out for each of them. No way would I feed them - he’s taking you for a mug!

TacoFlavouredKisses · 09/05/2018 17:03

Avasalara unhumble bragging all over the shop Grin

Your tradesman's a chancer OP! Tea is absolutely fine, I've never made food for a tradesman in my house (which I'm still paying the mortgage on 😂).

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 17:03

@Nicknacky

I already said I take the time off work. And they didn't ask- they said "you obviously don't work, some people have to". That's not asking, that's patronising and they're sitting there either thinking I'm living off a man or off the government.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 17:05

The mumsnet crowd always come back with "if you've got time for XYZ then you can't possibly have a job so you don't know what it's really like".

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 17:06

Because it’s a fact must people can’t take weeks off work when they have workers in. You must understand that surely?