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Original poster

Feeding workmen etiquette??

225 replies

Snowcatrunsthehouse · 09/05/2018 14:22

Please help me I appear to have failed.
We are currently having some work done on our house that will take approximately 6 weeks. It’s one man doing the job and I have regularly supplied tea, coffee and icey drinks.
But today he is dropping hints about people who make him bacon sandwiches in the morning and cook him stews etc???

I did a night shift last night I only got up to collect my toddler from pre school and haven’t even eaten myself since yesterday evening. I would never even normally have bacon in the house let alone cook anything big at lunch. I was asking if he wanted a drink when he started telling me he had been to the old lady up the road for lunch. Blush
I feel bad and really don’t know what is expected of me.
For context I work part time in a very demanding job whilst juggling 3 children I am rarely at home for long as taking toddler to classes etc doing school runs or I’m working or asleep post work. I’m also an introvert who hates having people in the house so I accept I may have failed here on etiquette. I was more than happy suppling good coffee when I’m here,
So please wise people what am I meant to be offering the man doing the roof??? Btw I’m not a good cook! Is getting the kids to make him cakes acceptable? Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowcatrunsthehouse · 09/05/2018 15:51

Thank you so much for responding, it seems I have not actually done anything very wrong. Will pick up some biscuits tomorrow and let the toddler make some cakes. He is completely working outside on the house if that’s relevant at all. I am rather shocked I have basically been asked to cook. I am not the most domesticated person and thus really was unsure what is expected of me. I assume I don’t need to offer him some of the kids play date food tonight?? I have multiple children over who I will be feeling raw carrots etc and pizza too thus I’m sure I will have a range of veg going spare Wink

OP posts:
Beetlewing · 09/05/2018 15:51

He's having you on. Tell him you don't even get to eat bacon sandwiches yourself so he'll be lucky. Laugh it off

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 15:52

@Nicknacky

I wouldn't expect them to. And my workmen don't expect me too. But because of how rural I am, they do have a fair bit to travel to get to me which means a very early start. I don't expect them to get up even earlier to sort a lunch out. I always use the same guys, I've had extra work for no charge, and they've never done a crap job. Since I'm sitting around the house all day, I will cook for them. I'm not saying it should be expected - but I do it.

RoseWhiteTips · 09/05/2018 15:55

What!? You are not expected to feed them. Tea or coffee and possibly a Digestive.
Lol

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 15:56

avasalara I think then it was unfair then to say people are bizarre or stingy for not doing it. Most of don’t live 90 mins from shops so that also factors into your decision. Although they could bring something with them they could heat at yours to save you the trouble......

Doodlebug5 · 09/05/2018 15:56

My mum makes bacon sandwiches for everyone. Actually everyone.

But she's in the minority. She even made bacon and egg sandwiches for the removal guys when I left home.

I don't however.

londonrach · 09/05/2018 15:59

Wow. Drinks, hot and cold, biscuits in this case its been jaffa biscuits and access to the toilet. You more than that.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 15:59

@Nicknacky

I didn't say it actually was bizarre. I said I, personally, think it is and I clarified that by explaining my upbringing on a farm and the food always ready for people. And in a post before, the responses were very mean against workmen... like they were vermin under people's feet and no way would posters dain to feed them. The tone from that thread made me think people are generally rude and nasty to workmen. Probably not the case, but certainly was on the last thread about getting work done.

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 16:03

No one has said at all that workmen are vermin, don’t be ridiculous. And you did say you thought it bizarre that people didn’t feed workmen Confused so you are splitting hairs there.

It’s not rude or nasty to only give tea/coffee, or indeed nothing!

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 09/05/2018 16:05

A friend of mine made bacon rolls every day for months for workmen, can’t imagine what it cost. I usually give them a couple of packs of —cheap— biscuits at the beginning of the week and set up a tray with tea & coffee so they can help themselves. I’ve also left out a loaf of bread and the toaster

TomRavenscroft · 09/05/2018 16:06

I didn't say it actually was bizarre. I said I, personally, think it is

Utterly meaningless distinction, especially considering you also said 'I think it's bizarre not to feed them ... But I've been harpooned on here for feeding workmen before so apparently most people are rather stingy.' (my bold).

ChiefSuspect · 09/05/2018 16:06

Tres cheeky of him.

I've never fed people doing work on the house. I'd maybe make coffee or tea, but very often they bring their own coffee in a flask. Possibly some custard creams, but actually I'd be really offended if someone started dropping hints they should be fed.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:06

@Nicknacky

Read what I wrote again. IT WAS ON ANOTHER THREAD. But the consensus there was that workmen are a pain in the ads and was very rude. So I think mumsnet is very rude toward traders sometimes.

And again, I did not say that it is bizarre. I said that I think it is. But also said I can have that opinion and you can have a different one. FFS

TomRavenscroft · 09/05/2018 16:09

Avasarala, I did not say that it is bizarre. I said that I think it is.

Again, sorry but that doesn't mean anything. Especially not coupled with the judgemental comment about other people being 'stingy'.

expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 16:09

'And in a post before, the responses were very mean against workmen... like they were vermin under people's feet and no way would posters dain to feed them. The tone from that thread made me think people are generally rude and nasty to workmen. Probably not the case, but certainly was on the last thread about getting work done.'

Bollocks! You're the one who said people who don't feed meals to workmen are bizarre and stingy. There's nothing wrong with putting out a kettle, instant coffee and tea, milk and whitener, napkins and a pack or two of biscuits. Some people may be unable to afford to lay on meals for others regularly (and are perhaps having workmen in as a repair job their insurance has paid for and not have a lot of extra money). It's hardly treating people like vermin if you aren't able to cook them lunch and dinner and breakfast every day Hmm.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:10

It's like, I personally think it's very odd to answer the door in pyjamas. But it's not. Plenty people wear their jammies and answer the door to get delivieres or take aways - but I couldn't possibly. I think it's so strange. But it's really isn't.

I can think what I like, and I can express those feelings. Doesn't make it so.

I think people should feed workmen and I always do. I think it's rude not too. Doesn't mean it actually is.

TomRavenscroft · 09/05/2018 16:11

I think it's rude not too. Doesn't mean it actually is.
Disingenuous.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:12

@Nicknacky

I said "the tone from that thread". It was another thread and it wasn't just about food. It was about workmen in general and the consensus was "they are a pain in the ass".

Pay attention to what I actually said. That's twice I've had to tell you it was another thread.

Furano · 09/05/2018 16:13

Well. I really want a bacon sarnie now.

ChiefSuspect · 09/05/2018 16:14

Pay attention to what I actually said. That's twice I've had to tell you it was another thread. Hmm

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:15

@TomRavenscroft

Do you know what disingenuous means? Because I'm not being dishonest or insincere - just saying how I feel about it, but I understand that many people don't. I can think it rude all I want.

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 16:16

avasalara You didn’t say it was a thread before, you said it was a post. I’m not a mind reader.

And you haven’t “had to tell me twice”. You have repeated your rude post before I read the first one.

JaneyEJones · 09/05/2018 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:17

In the first sentence I said "post" which was just an error on my part, but I went on to say "the tone of that thread", so it was clearly a different thread to this one. No need to read a mind.

MrsDilber · 09/05/2018 16:17

I'm with you, I never know what to do, same goes with tipping.

Glad you made this thread, I know they're being cf'ers now.