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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeding workmen etiquette??

225 replies

Snowcatrunsthehouse · 09/05/2018 14:22

Please help me I appear to have failed.
We are currently having some work done on our house that will take approximately 6 weeks. It’s one man doing the job and I have regularly supplied tea, coffee and icey drinks.
But today he is dropping hints about people who make him bacon sandwiches in the morning and cook him stews etc???

I did a night shift last night I only got up to collect my toddler from pre school and haven’t even eaten myself since yesterday evening. I would never even normally have bacon in the house let alone cook anything big at lunch. I was asking if he wanted a drink when he started telling me he had been to the old lady up the road for lunch. Blush
I feel bad and really don’t know what is expected of me.
For context I work part time in a very demanding job whilst juggling 3 children I am rarely at home for long as taking toddler to classes etc doing school runs or I’m working or asleep post work. I’m also an introvert who hates having people in the house so I accept I may have failed here on etiquette. I was more than happy suppling good coffee when I’m here,
So please wise people what am I meant to be offering the man doing the roof??? Btw I’m not a good cook! Is getting the kids to make him cakes acceptable? Confused

OP posts:
oohyoudevilyou · 09/05/2018 16:18

Tea and coffee every couple of hours, plus biscuits for elevenses and afternoon tea break for any tradesmen working on our house. Once in a while they may get a Club or Penguin biscuit, maybe a choc ice if it's sweltering but never bacon butties or a meal.

Are you sure he's dropping hints, or is he just letting making conversation?

Claireshh · 09/05/2018 16:18

I made tea and coffee and then bacon rolls on a Friday.

bella1426 · 09/05/2018 16:18

My partner and his father are builders and they always bring their own food, nip out for a sandwich at lunch. No way is food expected! They'd be delighted to be offered biscuits, think a lot of the time they even bring along their own kettle for drinks so offering just tea or coffee is fine I would think

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 16:19

There is a big difference between “post” and “thread”. You could easily have said “ my mistake I meant the other thread not post “instead of being rude.

expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 16:22

What if you're not home to make food and drinks because you, oh, I don't know, have to go to work to make money to pay for work on your home? Oh, no, that means you're stingy and bizarre and treating them like vermin.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:25

@Nicknacky

The previous thread was started with a very rude post about tradesmen. The thread then continued with people chiming in about them all being a pain in the ass. I was talking about that post and then the consensus of the thread when it wound up. Mumsnet is very rude, and anyone with a different opinion (like me who feeds workmen) is told they are totally wrong, and then asked nonsense like "would you expect it in another workplace". That's irrelevant. My post wasn't about their expectations, it was about my person opinion and actions.

I can do what I want regarding feeding workmen. I can also say I think, if you are financially able and present in the house withour children to run after, then you should. Doesn't mean anyone will.

Mossandclover · 09/05/2018 16:26

I think toddler-made and decorated cakes sound a great idea Grin. You might it knocks such requests on the head.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:26

@expatinscotland

I wouldn't leave workmen in my house unsupervised. Doesn't matter how long you've known them cos there's always a new trainee. I don't know anyone who leaves them unsupervised, but obviously people do.

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 16:27

avasalara Why talk about another post when you are commenting on this one?! And then get annoyed with posters who can’t guess what you re talking about!

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 16:28

And I can afford to feed workmen. But I don’t and won’t.

expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 16:29

'I wouldn't leave workmen in my house unsupervised. Doesn't matter how long you've known them cos there's always a new trainee. I don't know anyone who leaves them unsupervised, but obviously people do.'

A lot of people don't have that luxury, particularly if it's a long project; they may not be able to take off work or have paid time off work. So they can't feed the people. Or they maybe cannot afford it. But according to you that makes them bizarre, stingy and treating workmen like vermin. Okay Hmm.

JaneyEJones · 09/05/2018 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jappydooda · 09/05/2018 16:30

I usually do give them a tea/coffee around 11am and then again at 3pm, with biscuits if I have them in. Nothing more than that.

Although I did have one painter (who was a friend of my BIL) who thought I was cooking him breakfast as well - he was told in no uncertain terms that this was not going to happen, so he took himself off to the Golf Club for breakfast.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:33

Mumsnet is just full of very rude, inconsiderate people. In my real life, all the people in this village feed the folk in doing work. It's the norm. On here, it's an absolute no. Which I just don't understand.

Maria1982 · 09/05/2018 16:35

He is being cheeky!!! I’ve had all sorts of tradesmen in over the years. I’ve always offered tea or coffee, occasionally a pack of biscuits, and that’s it.

No one has asked for or expected more! Even biscuits are not taken for granted.

PS a lesson I learnt: if you’re happy for them to make their own tea/coffee tell them.

Original poster
Snowcatrunsthehouse · 09/05/2018 16:35

It’s a roof thing and rather specialist 6 weeks is about normal. Next door bigger house and roof has been going on longer than 6 weeks so far. I have no issues with Work I just don’t do food well.

OP posts:
Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:36

@expatinscotland

I didn't say not feeding them is treating them like vermin. It had nothing to do with it. I said that my impression of mumsnet is that everyone hates tradesmen. Every thread I've seen about them is always derogatory - always about them being a pain or an inconvenience. I'm sure not everyone thinks like that but I've not been on mumsnet long and the impression it's given me is that mumsnet thinks tradesmen are second class.

TrainsandDiggers · 09/05/2018 16:36

I have workmen in at the moment and give them morning and afternoon snacks as well as a proper lunch. I also gave them ice creams today. I don’t feel I need to, but I think it’s nice to. It’s hard work they are doing, esp in all this heat!

Maria1982 · 09/05/2018 16:37

avarasala Well each to their own.
But all of mine have turned up with a packed lunch from the first day so clearly they didn’t expect to be fed!

UserV · 09/05/2018 16:37

LOL he is taking the piss. No WAY do workman have food made for them.

Cheeky bastard. The most they'd get from me is a hobnob and a cuppa coffee.

'Make me a stew' indeed.

Cheeky cunt.

Maria1982 · 09/05/2018 16:38

Ah! It may well be different if very isolated or on a farm.

Peachy92 · 09/05/2018 16:39

It's a nice thing to do if you have the time and resources but certainly isn't expected of you. It's your responsibility as a worker, regardless of the job, to adequately feed and water yourself. I wouldn't think twice about his comments, he might be seeing how far he can push you.

expatinscotland · 09/05/2018 16:39

Yes, how rude, that people might actually a) not live in villages or rural areas and have easy access to shops b) not be able to afford to feed workmen, who may be there for months, a meal or two a day for weeks on end c) not be able to be home to even do that because they have to work outside the home to keep said roof over head and pay said workmen on time d) might not be able to cook said food for a variety of reasons. Imagine, life in the big, wide world! All different sorts of folks.

Avasarala · 09/05/2018 16:42

@expatinscotland

As I said, if you are financially able, at home all day and not running around after kids, then I can't understand why you wouldn't... obviously if you're not there or don't have the money then even if you want too, you can't. But if you can and are at home, I don't understand why you wouldn't. It's not about it being your job to do it, or being expected to do it. It's just the decent, neighbourly thing to do.

Bluntness100 · 09/05/2018 16:43

This actually made me laugh out loud. I love how he's been so specific,,,stew 🤣🤣🤣

I give work men tea coffee biscuits. That's fairly normal. And no more is expected.

Make him stew 🤣🤣🤣