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AIBU?

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Original poster

Feeding workmen etiquette??

225 replies

Snowcatrunsthehouse · 09/05/2018 14:22

Please help me I appear to have failed.
We are currently having some work done on our house that will take approximately 6 weeks. It’s one man doing the job and I have regularly supplied tea, coffee and icey drinks.
But today he is dropping hints about people who make him bacon sandwiches in the morning and cook him stews etc???

I did a night shift last night I only got up to collect my toddler from pre school and haven’t even eaten myself since yesterday evening. I would never even normally have bacon in the house let alone cook anything big at lunch. I was asking if he wanted a drink when he started telling me he had been to the old lady up the road for lunch. Blush
I feel bad and really don’t know what is expected of me.
For context I work part time in a very demanding job whilst juggling 3 children I am rarely at home for long as taking toddler to classes etc doing school runs or I’m working or asleep post work. I’m also an introvert who hates having people in the house so I accept I may have failed here on etiquette. I was more than happy suppling good coffee when I’m here,
So please wise people what am I meant to be offering the man doing the roof??? Btw I’m not a good cook! Is getting the kids to make him cakes acceptable? Confused

OP posts:
Pippylou · 09/05/2018 14:35

Tea/coffee if you have the kettle on, maybe a biscuit...

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 09/05/2018 14:37

DH used to be a decorator. Nobody ever fed him. Facilities to make tea and coffee are fine.

Alpacages · 09/05/2018 14:38

I made this mistake when we had an extension done in our last house. They expected endless cups of coffee and lunch every day for 12wks. I got through so much milk.
We had some workmen in couple of weeks ago and they brought their own packed lunches and flasks of tea.
When we have our proper work done on this house there’s no way I’m starting off on the same foot as I did with the first ones!

WaxOnFeckOff · 09/05/2018 14:38

He is at it. I had joiners and plumbers in for weeks and they were very happy to have access to drinks and some tins of biscuits I had from Christmas. I'd make them something if I was there but they had permission to help themselves to kettle/tea/coffee/water and squash (and the biscuits) whenever they wanted even if I was in and also if I wasn't around.

The thing they said they were most grateful for was me saying to sit themselves down at the table and have their tea/lunch as apparently most people prefer them to go sit in their van! In January/February.

They were all excellent workers but enjoyed just being able to sit and eat their sandwiches at the table, listen the radio and have a natter for a little bit. I was paying for the job, not the hour.

purpleorchidwhite · 09/05/2018 14:39

If I've organised and co-ordinated trades to be onsite/ home for a day, I always do tea, coffee and biscuits.

If they are working over several days or weeks I usually cater for them too.

I think a small gesture goes a long way. I feed my builders, plumbers, carpenters, electricians and anyone else helping me along the way.

Big packs of bacon from Aldi and fresh bread might cost me £5 a day, but If I'm paying £150-170 a day per trade, it's not much extra.

Trades always seem happy to come back and help on the next job I need, maybe it's working!

HateSummer · 09/05/2018 14:40

When I go to work I don’t expect my employers to feed me. They provide access to water and a kettle/fridge. I take my own food. Same applies here. He’s an idiot.

Aridane · 09/05/2018 14:40

I would expect them to bring their own food and refreshments. I’m the past have expected to provide tea, coffee etc - but now I invariably find workmen being their own refreshments including kettle in some cases. A bit put out -MrsGlittery DH expects refreahments

PositivelyPERF · 09/05/2018 14:41

I had builders in for months and supplied them with biscuits, the odd bun/pastie, milk, tea, coffee, kettle, tea pot and a single ring burner. Then I left them to it. I’m not their fucking wife or mother.

blackteasplease · 09/05/2018 14:41

After the first tea/ coffee in the morning, I would just leave every thing out fir him - tea coffee milk squash if you have it and leave out a plate if biscuits maybe.

Say "please help yourself as often as you like" etc and maybe something along the lines of "you know how it is with small toddlers, you'll be waiting all day if you wait for me, ha ha ha".

bettytaghetti · 09/05/2018 14:43

A particular bugbear of mine is those that walk in and immediately ask "What letter comes after S?".
Grrr!

PositivelyPERF · 09/05/2018 14:44

I think people have read MrsGlitter wrong.

The only thing he would expect is a cold drink,

Then she says:

a tea/coffee and some biscuits always goes down a treat but in reality nothing is needed from you.

Yogagirl123 · 09/05/2018 14:45

Haha he’s a cheeky one! I will make tea, coffee, squash if it’s hot etc perhaps a piece of cake or biscuits if I have some in, bacon sandwiches, 3 course lunches no way, he’s trying his luck.

princesspeppax · 09/05/2018 14:46

My dp is a window & door fitter, and spends every day in and out houses. Most people offer tea/ coffee etc, the odd few have made rolls etc but it is definitely not the norm and extremely rude that he is hinting

Nicknacky · 09/05/2018 14:46

Even still, he shouldn’t “expect” anything even if it is just a drink. I always offer, but I would be put out if a tradesman expected me to provide him with refreshments.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/05/2018 14:46

Ignore him and don't feel bad about not feeding him! Whenever we've had workmen in I will make them a drink and maybe throw a packet of biscuits in but that's it.

If DH is at home he would offer bacon/sausages sandwiches but that's up to him.

IceSwan · 09/05/2018 14:46

Tea and biscuits is normal.

Anything else is a cheek!

Sarahjconnor · 09/05/2018 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lemonyknickers · 09/05/2018 14:48

Only time I fed workmen was when we had a kitchen built, I went to the local cafe for bacon butties and got them some, they returned the favour. Never had a builder not come back so I think PP thinking feeding them helps I think it's just being a nice person and paying for the work on time!

agedknees · 09/05/2018 14:49

The only time I got food in was when we moved house. Was getting a chippy lunch for me and dh, so took the removal men’s orders too.

This was met with surprise and pleasure.

He is being a cf.

crikeycrumbsblimey · 09/05/2018 14:50

Mine just offered to make me a drink!

They are blooming lovely though

ThymeLord · 09/05/2018 14:50

Chancer. I'd probably buy some packs of biscuits in, or make him a sandwich if I happened to be in and doing my own dinner at that time but anything else, nah.

Prestonsflowers · 09/05/2018 14:51

I’ve had builders/roofers/plumbers/decorators/ and related trades either working inside and outside of my house for about 4 years.
First and last time I made tea and coffee for 12. Fuck that!! Never did it again. They have their own kettle and supply their own tea, coffee, milk, sugar and biscuits.
They have a sheltered area to sit in and a portaloo.
He is being a CF to expect food, if he hints just tell him No.

morningconstitutional2017 · 09/05/2018 14:51

IME it is perfectly reasonable to provide cups of tea, but food, no. As has been already suggested he struck lucky with a bacon sandwich with an over-indulgent past customer but it's not the norm. Surely he knows that too and is just chancing his arm? Cheeky sod. I wouldn't know how to respond to his suggestion except to suggest that he's pushing his luck.

Dancergirl · 09/05/2018 14:51

My builders bring their own of everything - tea, coffee, milk, sugar....even their own kettle! Smile

AlwaysHiding · 09/05/2018 14:53

We supplied a tray of tea, coffee, milk, squash and biscuits to the builders who knocked our kitchen wall down a few years ago. They were more than happy. They brought their own sandwiches, etc and ate them in our garden. Meanwhile, due to lack of kitchen appliances, we lived off microwave meals in the lounge, so a bacon sarnie was never going to happen anyway!