To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?

[InteriorDespairer]

I've recently begun trying to make my home a bit nicer- I live in a tiny one bedroom flat with a balcony with my DH, and try as I might to make it actually a nice place to be, it's beginning to feel like an exercise in futility.

Let's start with the bathroom. It has no windows, and a tiled floor- the builders did a crappy job of grouting the tiles, it comes out in huge chunks so there are loads of gaps, and there is some on the tiles which I just haven't been able to shift which means parts of the floor just always look dirty. The tiles are grey with a sort of grainy texture to them. It's a tiny room with no storage at all, I bought this little floor tidy to put things in as it was about the only thing that would fit, but the room still manages to look cluttered. One of the light fittings has never worked either.

We have a combined kitchen/sitting room with wooden floors which were poorly fitted so in winter/when its cold you can't move an inch without them creaking like crazy. The washing machine makes so much noise at times it's pointless trying to watch TV or pay attention to anything else.

We have floor-to-ceiling windows with no windowsills and cheap vertical blinds like these. Same in the bedroom. All the windows are south facing and the blinds are practically transparent so on sunny days it gets absurdly hot.

The furniture - DH bought the place before we got together and furnished it like a typical cash-strapped bachelor with chunky black Ikea furniture as far as the eye can see, and the world's ugliest beige sofa. The black furniture shows up every speck of dust and fingerprint, so sometimes it feels like painting the Forth bridge trying to keep it looking nice! We do have a lovely bureau which I inherited when my GPs died but next to all the black Ikea stuff it just looks odd and out of place.

The bedroom - also tiny, we have a (chunky black Ikea) kingsize bed, a massive wardrobe (same again), chest of drawers in front of the window and a small bedside unit.

Hallway - essentially just an empty space, occasionally occupied by the clothes horse. Not enough room for any furniture.

The balcony - also pretty small with a glass wall, impossible to hang anything from (unless I use cable ties) because of the flat, roughly 2-inch wide rail along the inside. We don't tend to spend a great deal of time out there anyway because of the kids who play outside and scream their heads off until about 10 p.m. and our downstairs neighbours whose cigarette and weed smoke comes straight up at us.

I just don't know how to make it into a nice home. I keep it clean and tidy, have tried not to clutter it up with too much 'decorative' stuff but it's just never a particularly warm or inviting place to be. I can't afford to start replacing furniture, I did buy a throw for the sofa but because the sofa cushions don't even fucking fit it just looked messy.

Does anyone else feel like this about their home? Can anyone make any suggestions from how I might transform mine? It's getting thoroughly depressing at this point.

Since you have posted this in AIBU rather than diy or property, I shall give you my take on it.

A home is the people who live in it, not the walls or other material crap around it. If you care about each other, talk to each other, love each other, then it doesn't matter what the tiles or the grouting are doing. Lots of people live in beautiful properties, but their houses are not homes.

Could you paint your bathroom floor tiles? I’m thinking of doing mine with chalk paint and wax as we don’t have the cash to get a whole new floor.

What about switching the office-looking blinds for more natural ones - either wood Venetian or even those cheap bamboo ones.

Could you soften the look of the chunky black furniture with some lovely warm accessories, or soft cushions in cosy fabrics - eg chunky Aran knit cushions or chenille. Even somewhere cheap like B&M has cheap accessories - they are always scoffed at here but a few rattan hearts and twig lights can give a cosier look

I know they say never assume but I am assuming that you've had a conversation with your DH about making some changes?

If his furniture is still fit for purpose, it can be sold. If it's not fit for purpose then it needs replacing anyway. Either way, given it's been like this since before you were even together, you wouldn't be unreasonable to suggest some improvements.

It's not impossible if you have money to buy the bits that make somewhere look cosy and homely. Otherwise, it can be a struggle. Maybe see it as something to aim for bit by bit by saving to change the things you don't like rather than aiming to suddenly feel at home there without having the money to make any proper changes.

Also - can you put the washing machine on a timer so it’s on when you are either out or asleep?

And the walls - can you paint them a warmer colour too?

I would change the blinds if you can afford it - or could you put fixings up so that you can have curtains, even thinn gauzy ones, in front of the blinds? That would make it look less sterile.
What about pictures for the walls? I would choose a couple of big, colourful abstracts rather than little prints, or frame a load of photos and make a gallery wall.
A nice rug for the living space to reduce the creakage? Ikea have very large rugs which are affordable.
A fabric covered 'pouffe' thing in a warm cover wouldn't take up much space, and would add texture and colour. There are some lovely ones around at the mo.
Basically I would try to add warm colours and texture.

colour not cover

allposters often have sales and have a huge range which they can frame too.

www.homescapesonline.com/cotton-orange-knitted-pouffe-footstool.html

This sort of thing.

And plants! They make any room look better.

I'll shut up now.

From what you have said, I think you can make it nicer. However I agree that some houses you can make nice temporarily and they will go to disrepair quicker than others. I lived in a 1930s flat with solid brick walls and a damp problem. It didn’t matter what you did to repair it or what furnishings you put in, everything got dusty and mouldy and wet. It should have been condemned.

Sell the furniture on Facebook and buy different, nicer furniture. Facebook selling sites are awash with stuff at amazing prices for excellent quality items. Keep your eye out for rugs and other soft furnishings.

Scrub the bathroom floor with sandpaper to make it smooth then put lino over the top.

Don't buy any open 'tidies' for a small space - it will only ever look busy and cluttered. Any storage has to be enclosed - tall thin cupboards with doors or clever storage boxes to hide your clutter, not display it!

Curtains...you need curtains, not blinds.

Get a BIG rug for the floorboards and can't you re-do the bathroom tiles?

Plants as someone else said...ditch the black furniture for God's sake. Buy second hand stuff if you can't afford new.

A lot of your problem areas sound fixable...but it sounds as though you will need to spend some money. You could post some pics and we could make suggestions?

I think the problem is the furniture.

Of course with the right furniture and dressings you can make any home look lovely. But if you can't afford to change the furniture then it's nigh on impossible to fix.

You can paint the walls, add cheap colourful rugs, plants, but if the main stuff is big and ugly it will be what it will be.

So it's not the home, it's what's in it.

We've got a few framed photos on the walls (with, you guessed it, chunky black frames), one big framed poster I bought DH as a present, and he bought this monstrosity to hang above our bed and an equally large canvas photo of a random golf course which is above the TV. He won't let me get rid of either.

He won't let me buy a rug for the sitting room, he said it'll just gather dust and get dirty.

If you go on Pinterest and type in ikea hacks there are loads of cheap and inventive ideas to improve the furniture. Also search Japanese small space solutions.
Most furniture can be upcycled with chalk paint and some primer to any colour you want. Also have a look on Etsy for art prints - again cheap and they have every style you could think of. Ikea sell frames as cheap as £1.75.
Also gumtree and schpock have loads of furniture that you could get for a bargain and then upcycle.
There's a whole world of ideas out there!

Few thoughts spring to mind:-
!)can you paint the black furniture?
2) Throws artfully draped over sofa arms or backs rather than the whole sofa can add some colour and texture and don't end up looking like a dogs dinner the minute you sit down.
3) Colourful cushions? are you handy with a needle? if so cushion covers are easy to do even by hand.
4) pictures or posters on the walls? you can pick framed prints and pictures up cheaply in a lot of charity shops.
5) a few artificial plants on the balcony strategically placed to add a pretty view through the window
6) regrout the tiled floor with coloured grout might lift the colour of the tiles

I agree with curtains instead of blinds. You can also get solar-reflective curtain lining which might be worth a try.

Agree, can you post some pics?

Also, a huge canvas of a golf course?! I'm sure he's a lovely guy but you might need to get stern about that one.

Annie Sloane chalk paint is amazing and you can use it on virtually any surface (even concrete and fabric!). Maybe you could paint your Ikea furniture with it?
Won't LET you get rid of the pictures??! Whoops, look how they accidentally slipped and got ripped. Shame. :-D

You haven't given any indication of budget, so I'm going to make a few different suggestions for different budgets. In my first career I used to move a lot and lived out of tiny bedsit type flats, so I have some understanding of where you're coming from.

The first rule is de-clutter ruthlessly. Get rid of all unopened/part-used toiletries which you haven't used in the last month and any clothes you haven't worn in the last three, for example. Combine uses. You can use a good gentle shampoo as shower gel as well if you have a good conditioner. It's much easier to keep a space looking ordered and tidy if you have less in it.

Storage. Things like the ideas below for cupboards can help you eke out more space. As can boxes under beds (but make sure they're on wheels so you can pull them out as easily as opening a drawer, or they become unused dead space). Also use door tidies.

To make the place look more attractive, you need to do different things depending on whether you rent or own.

If you're renting, get your LL out to sort out the grout problem. That's going to cause damp in the floorboards underneath so it needs fixing.If you own, make this a priority for the same reason. That will improve things quite a lot in the bathroom. You can improve it further by adding a couple of thin, unobtrusive shelves (if allowed) for some small artificial greenery/candles and co-ordinating your towels and a shower mat.

If you own or your landlord doesn't mind, change the blinds to something more attractive and dress your windows by putting up curtains as well as the blinds. It's amazing how much difference a well-dressed window can make - especially to your balcony, which you could make a feature and draw the eye to with the right dressing. With lots of plants on it, even with the doors shut (I presume they are glass) this could be lovely.

If you own or your LL doesn't mind, some wall art/bookshelves can transform a plain, dull wall into something that reflects your personalities.

Throws over chairs can make a huge difference. They can also be a PITA because they require constant straightening. You can get round this in a number of ways. The easiest is to buy some elastic and stitch a couple of ties onto each opposing edge then tie them up the back and also place a pole/broom handle pushed down on top of the throw but down the gap where the back of the sofa meets the seat so it's out of site. Add some new cushions as well.

Lighting makes a huge difference. A couple of cheap table lamps to add a softer ambience can really change the feel of a room.

Good luck!

Noisy washing machine - can you get it hidden in a cupboard and try to noise-proof the cupboard?

I'll take some pics when I get home from work.

We don't have a lot of money to throw at the problem sadly. We were given some John Lewis vouchers when we got married but we're saving them for when we eventually move out of this shithole into a proper house.

The washing machine is in a cupboard but that does pretty much nothing to lower the volume.