To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?

[InteriorDespairer]

I've recently begun trying to make my home a bit nicer- I live in a tiny one bedroom flat with a balcony with my DH, and try as I might to make it actually a nice place to be, it's beginning to feel like an exercise in futility.

Let's start with the bathroom. It has no windows, and a tiled floor- the builders did a crappy job of grouting the tiles, it comes out in huge chunks so there are loads of gaps, and there is some on the tiles which I just haven't been able to shift which means parts of the floor just always look dirty. The tiles are grey with a sort of grainy texture to them. It's a tiny room with no storage at all, I bought this little floor tidy to put things in as it was about the only thing that would fit, but the room still manages to look cluttered. One of the light fittings has never worked either.

We have a combined kitchen/sitting room with wooden floors which were poorly fitted so in winter/when its cold you can't move an inch without them creaking like crazy. The washing machine makes so much noise at times it's pointless trying to watch TV or pay attention to anything else.

We have floor-to-ceiling windows with no windowsills and cheap vertical blinds like these. Same in the bedroom. All the windows are south facing and the blinds are practically transparent so on sunny days it gets absurdly hot.

The furniture - DH bought the place before we got together and furnished it like a typical cash-strapped bachelor with chunky black Ikea furniture as far as the eye can see, and the world's ugliest beige sofa. The black furniture shows up every speck of dust and fingerprint, so sometimes it feels like painting the Forth bridge trying to keep it looking nice! We do have a lovely bureau which I inherited when my GPs died but next to all the black Ikea stuff it just looks odd and out of place.

The bedroom - also tiny, we have a (chunky black Ikea) kingsize bed, a massive wardrobe (same again), chest of drawers in front of the window and a small bedside unit.

Hallway - essentially just an empty space, occasionally occupied by the clothes horse. Not enough room for any furniture.

The balcony - also pretty small with a glass wall, impossible to hang anything from (unless I use cable ties) because of the flat, roughly 2-inch wide rail along the inside. We don't tend to spend a great deal of time out there anyway because of the kids who play outside and scream their heads off until about 10 p.m. and our downstairs neighbours whose cigarette and weed smoke comes straight up at us.

I just don't know how to make it into a nice home. I keep it clean and tidy, have tried not to clutter it up with too much 'decorative' stuff but it's just never a particularly warm or inviting place to be. I can't afford to start replacing furniture, I did buy a throw for the sofa but because the sofa cushions don't even fucking fit it just looked messy.

Does anyone else feel like this about their home? Can anyone make any suggestions from how I might transform mine? It's getting thoroughly depressing at this point.

Get rid of vertical blinds. They don't even look good in offices, let alone a home. Can you stretch to buying new covers for the beige sofa? And a few new soft furnishings to coordinate?

I suspect that part of the problem is that it is DH's house and you've moved into 'his' space so in a way it is shaped like him...

Is there an expiry date on your vouchers? (Just asking because I've lost money this way before).

THere are undoubtedly other brands out there at different prices, but how about lining the washing machine cupboard with something like this?

I suspect that part of the problem is that it is DH's house and you've moved into 'his' space so in a way it is shaped like him.

Agreed. DP moved into my house after selling his while mine was still on the market. I absolutely hated him being in 'my space' moving my stuff around and putting in his own (in my eyes sometimes tasteless) belongings. Fortunately, I recognised how unreasonable I was being and gritted my teeth (even so it was hard). Fast forward to us being in a new place we bought together which is properly 'ours' and the problem has completely resolved itself.

Put the washing machine on a vibration mat? Think they're about £10 from Amazon.

If your DH is really resistant to some of these changes, maybe tell him you want ONE room to transform and make it more homely. Everyone needs somewhere they feel at peace and their sanctuary. Maybe get the bedroom how you like it, but you agree to leave the rest of the flat as it is for now.

(Then, fingers crossed, he's completely won over when he sees how nice the place can look, and wants more changes!)

Use your JL vouchers to buy a ‘something’ you can take with you when you move; get the benefit of them now.

I love an orchid, think the look a lot more expensive than they are. And never underestimate the power of a cosy candle and nice cushions/throws

It’s not the house that’s the problem, it’s your DH.
I was married to one like yours who wouldn’t ‘let’ me get rid of any of the ‘i’ve been to india’ tat or his grandmother’s furniture, because ‘it is fine’. It was AWFUL.
It’s your house too!

By the sound of it, you could to with a new bathroom and different blinds/curtains.
Wall to wall windows are hard to dress, but some Ikea linen curtains would look good and do the job. Something like this? Can you post a pic of the windows? Dimensions?

Find out the dimensions of the bathroom and go for a quote for some tiles. Get an electrician to sort the bulb out. Alternatively, I fitted myself a £15 Ikea mirror and strips of bulbs on each side, the whole lot cost me £59.
I’d repaint the whole house white, it’ll work with black furniture, till you can replace it.

Next is the bedroom. Find out dimensions and get a quote for new carpet. The map could get accidentally damaged. Or you could go on an art trail and pick something up that you both like, they’re not that expensive.
All bedlinen white, it’ll look less cluttered.

But most if all, sit your DH down and tell him how important it is to you and that you’re going ahead.

Can you change your washing machine? I bought a new one 6 months ago. It’s incredibly quiet. There is even a night wash, which is almost imperceptible. The only noise with washing is flump, flump as the washing hits the drum plus a little noise on the spin and water filling. On the ads, you can see the decibels on the machines. I shopped around and got a good deal but only a 1200 spin as the 1600 was 1/3 more.

Forgot to say, how come he gets to choose a crappy picture but you don’t get to choose a rug?

When Dh and I lived in a bedsit for 3 years we used beautiful fabrics - second hand saris bought in a job lot - to make the 28 year old sofa look better and also used them as curtains. I scrubbed the bathroom for days until it gleamed and kept it spotless even thou we shared it with 5 other rooms (all single men).

I know the modern trend is to get rid of all your possessions but I think that personal possessions, photos, throws etc make a home much more appealing.

just read your update and I think your DH, his shit taste and refusal to compromise is the problem, not the flat.

I'm not usually one to come on and say its the DHs fault but I'm also querying why he gets to choose art for above the bed but you can't choose a rug?

Just buy it. Then sneak in the soft furnishings and start painting furniture. Can you sew? You can make things like cushion covers for peanuts if you have a sewing machine. Just need a few old items of clothes for fabric.

If you don’t have much money to spend on it I would go with the furniture as a lead. It’s modern, black and Scandinavian and if your house is clutter free going for a clean minimalistish look is going to work best with what you’ve got. It also means you’ve got a theme running through the house which if carried from room to room should make you feel like you’re in a bigger space.

I would suggest painting all the walls white (if they aren’t) to lift and lighten. You’re in a small space so personally I’d want to keep it as bright as possible.

Homely bits wise I agree with the PP about plants or flowers. Also add texture so it doesn’t seem flat.

I’d start by writing down a list of all the things you’re unhappy with and then turn it into a how you can change it list e.g.

1. Bathroom floor = decorative bath mat and a closed storage unit.

1. Black furniture = how can I make the room feel more spacious? Homely?

1. Balcony = outdoor rug, two nice chairs and a big potted plant.

I’d also say that big prints like that are probably dominating the room and although buyers should look past such things, they may well add a sense of oppression in the rooms. How negotiable are they?

I'd be spending those JL vouchers on stuff that you both like and that will move with you to the new house. So not on a pendant light fitting but on a couple of lamps for example. Not on wallpaper but on a rug etc

Your home is your sanctuary, and if the decor is at odds with your taste and personality, obviously it's going to impact your emotional well-being and wear you down over time.

I'm struggling to understand the bit where your DH stuck up the rancid batch pad tut world map wall art above your bed, and a random golf canvas(!?), and won't let you have a say in it?!

How much longer do you envisage living in this place? If it's years rather than months, then please forget about future you (for a moment) and invest in present day you.

...chants Spend the vouchers!

Another voice in the spend the vouchers chorus. The soft furnishings in JL are amazing. A lovely rug and some cushions will transform your living room, make it warmer and absorb some of the washing machine noise. Those blinds are vile, ditch them and get some floor length lined curtains. Lamps are a great idea too, you'll be able to reuse all those things in your new place.

He won't let me buy a rug for the sitting room, he said it'll just gather dust and get dirty.

He won't let you buy a rug? And does he do the bulk of the flat cleaning?

Your main problem is that your DH does not see the flat as equally your living space. It sounds like the place is up for sale or shortly will be. He needs to accept that you're more likely to find a buyer if the place looks decent. As people have said - paint the tiles (John Lewis do tile paint), replace the blinds (John Lewis do blinds and most of them are regulation sizes that you could take with you).How long do John Lewis vouchers even last? Are you sure you'll have moved before they expire? I'd use them - or at least some - to improve your current living environment. Worry about the next place once you get there.

*Google says John Lewis vouchers last 2 years.

I would strongly consider flogging the JL vouchers to a mate for cash equivalent and then getting a shit ton more for your money at a cheaper home store - Dunelm and the like.

Practically, I would paint the black furniture as pp suggest. That will have an instant effect. Ditto the walls. You could do that in a day or two (all of it) if you crack on.

Get cheerful window fabrics/blinds/curtains.

Paint the bathroom floor tiles and/or regrout them for instant improvement. Depending on what you call "small budget" you may be able to afford pvc cladding in there too (for the walls)

Chalk paint is excellent for covering black furniture. Look on YouTube for some tutorials.

Can you regrout the bathroom tiles? Try using an old razor with one side wrapped in gaffer tape to blunt it, to scrape off the grout. Dodgy builders should have put that right for you. Then put down a very clean, thick, fluffy bath mat.

For the hallway, just get a huge mirror and underneath it a really narrow console table for a candle, flowers and a photo frame or two. You could also add a runner rug to give some colour and character. Tip I heard recently: hallways can be really colourful as you don't ever live in them, they just make a first impression, so if you want a huge painting taking up an entire wall, or a really bright colour, go for it.

Too much IKEA furniture in a house makes it look very cold and impersonal. Mix it up with free stuff from freecycle, that has a bit more character - a really nice coffee table in front of the sofa with flowers, a folded rug, a small stack of books or magazines or large candles gives a homely touch.

Just personalise it. Keep it tidy and decluttered, then add stuff that really means something to you and cheers you up just to look at it.

Vertical blinds are depressing in any home, however gorgeous, because they make a room like like an office. I'd get muslin drapes and maybe a warmer coloured curtain fabric too. Pick up the colour in some big cushions and a throw draped over the sofa. (I actually like your sofa. It's not the world's ugliest at all. You've clearly never set eyes on this.)

Can you re-grout the bathroom flooring? I'm sure you can buy it alreay mixed up and in a tube bottle. Can you buy a wall cupboard for your bathroom instead. All of my toiletries are shut away and it looks so much tidier. A nice bath mat could look good too. Asda do a good range usually.

The washing machine. Annoying but one of those things. Try and get into a habit of putting it on before you head out. Even if that means loading in the night before.

The living room. I'm not into chunky black furniture either. What kind of look do you like OP? Shabby chic, rustic, modern etc. Perhaps you could find some bargain wooden furniture in charity shops which you can sand and paint?

What colours are the walls in your living area and bedroom? Light is always best. I also agree that some curtains would be lovely. Plus some shelves with plants.

Your DH needs to compromise. Do you feel like it is your home? I moved into DP's place as well and it wasn't until we redecorated and bought different furniture that it felt like my home too. He understood this and actually enjoyed the transformation.

This has long voile curtains, a modern IKEA-ish looking coffee table and a sofa a bit like yours but looks great imo.

I also moved in with DH, to a batchelor pad full of hideous black modern furniture (why do men do this?) and used to make the mistake of consulting DH about decor. Biggest tip I can offer: don't consult. Obviously do about big stuff like wall colours or major purchases. But if you want to brighten a room with a new rug or cushions, just do it. And keep doing it. And be totally unrepentant about it. It's your home too.

Regrouting tiles is cheap and pretty easy. I’d do that as a priority.
I’d use the JL vouchers on making your flat look nicer. They could have expired by the time you move.
However, if your DH won’t let you change things then you’re stuck really aren’t you. I’d address this first.
Agree the sofa is hideous!