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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?

315 replies

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 12:52

I've recently begun trying to make my home a bit nicer- I live in a tiny one bedroom flat with a balcony with my DH, and try as I might to make it actually a nice place to be, it's beginning to feel like an exercise in futility.

Let's start with the bathroom. It has no windows, and a tiled floor- the builders did a crappy job of grouting the tiles, it comes out in huge chunks so there are loads of gaps, and there is some on the tiles which I just haven't been able to shift which means parts of the floor just always look dirty. The tiles are grey with a sort of grainy texture to them. It's a tiny room with no storage at all, I bought this little floor tidy to put things in as it was about the only thing that would fit, but the room still manages to look cluttered. One of the light fittings has never worked either.

We have a combined kitchen/sitting room with wooden floors which were poorly fitted so in winter/when its cold you can't move an inch without them creaking like crazy. The washing machine makes so much noise at times it's pointless trying to watch TV or pay attention to anything else.

We have floor-to-ceiling windows with no windowsills and cheap vertical blinds like these. Same in the bedroom. All the windows are south facing and the blinds are practically transparent so on sunny days it gets absurdly hot.

The furniture - DH bought the place before we got together and furnished it like a typical cash-strapped bachelor with chunky black Ikea furniture as far as the eye can see, and the world's ugliest beige sofa. The black furniture shows up every speck of dust and fingerprint, so sometimes it feels like painting the Forth bridge trying to keep it looking nice! We do have a lovely bureau which I inherited when my GPs died but next to all the black Ikea stuff it just looks odd and out of place.

The bedroom - also tiny, we have a (chunky black Ikea) kingsize bed, a massive wardrobe (same again), chest of drawers in front of the window and a small bedside unit.

Hallway - essentially just an empty space, occasionally occupied by the clothes horse. Not enough room for any furniture.

The balcony - also pretty small with a glass wall, impossible to hang anything from (unless I use cable ties) because of the flat, roughly 2-inch wide rail along the inside. We don't tend to spend a great deal of time out there anyway because of the kids who play outside and scream their heads off until about 10 p.m. and our downstairs neighbours whose cigarette and weed smoke comes straight up at us.

I just don't know how to make it into a nice home. I keep it clean and tidy, have tried not to clutter it up with too much 'decorative' stuff but it's just never a particularly warm or inviting place to be. I can't afford to start replacing furniture, I did buy a throw for the sofa but because the sofa cushions don't even fucking fit it just looked messy.

Does anyone else feel like this about their home? Can anyone make any suggestions from how I might transform mine? It's getting thoroughly depressing at this point.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
42
InteriorDespairer · 03/05/2018 12:09

I got on to Ikea re fugly sofa - they've discontinued the high-backed style, I can change the armrests for lower ones but the back is part of the frame, so I'm stuck with it Sad

OP posts:
DontCallMeCharlotte · 03/05/2018 12:29

Hallway before/after- I swapped the LA skyline picture with the London one that we originally had in the bedroom

Can you just move that table in the hall so it's centred between the wall and the door and not up against the wall? I like what you've done with that corner though and the London picture BTW.

WipsGlitter · 03/05/2018 13:20

Agree you need to centre that table. And declutter the bureau top and underneath it. Looks better though.

MinaPaws · 03/05/2018 13:21

The hall looks much better. So does the area by the TV.

Get some colourful cushions for the sofa now, that pick up the colours in the picture above, so maybe some cornflower blues and indigos to match the sky If you want cheap ones, H&M have gorgeous velvet cushion covers in different blues and different shapes, and some ochre-yellow ones - all for about £6 each.

FloralCup · 03/05/2018 13:28

Yes, centre the hall table. And clear the nice bureau, leaving the teacups and maybe the clock.

I'd be tempted to try the sofa in a different position - against the tv wall.
I like the idea of a fold down table that a PP mentioned.
Also, you could get those shoe cabinets from IKEA - put then in a corridor section of the living room leading to the cupboard.
And get a rug.

But it's looking better already.

InteriorDespairer · 03/05/2018 13:33

We’re stuck with the TV where it is unfortch- all the plug and aerial sockets are there.

OP posts:
RoseWhiteTips · 03/05/2018 14:12

The sofa is absolutely fine. I like it.
It is not leather for one thing.

Kismett · 03/05/2018 14:41

Looks nice! How do you feel about making these changes?

Another suggestion (I know you’re being inundated) is to move the table lamp off to one side, rather than the middle of the table. That would be my own preference, but you can see if it would actually look any better or worse!

EspressoButler · 03/05/2018 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatevszz · 03/05/2018 20:26

StarSmileFlowers looks so good! Well done!

Fflamingo · 06/05/2018 21:28

Wow, moving the pics has made a big improvement.

AngeloMysterioso · 10/05/2018 21:30

Well, I got a little under sink cupboard today, put it all together, was feeling very pleased with myself and excited for DH to come home and see it... aaaaaand surprise surprise, he doesn’t like it. Hates it in fact. It doesn’t look any better than the chrome tidy, he doesn’t want to bend down to get things out, he wants the chrome tidy back. Said I’ve got to stop changing things and making decisions without him, or one day I’ll come home and find he’s just bought something for the flat without consulting me. I pointed out that he already did that with the golf picture and the world map above the bed. Now he’s in the sitting room in a foul mood, and I’m hiding in the bedroom feeling dejected and sad.

To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
SoyDora · 10/05/2018 21:41

Wow, he has serious issues about change doesn’t he? Does he not want you to feel like it’s your home? Does he not think you should have any say in your surroundings?
Anyway he’s wrong, it does look better.

SurfnTerfFantasticmissfoxy · 10/05/2018 22:04

He's being a petulant fucker - and he is dead wrong, it looks much much better now.

WipsGlitter · 10/05/2018 22:05

It loos much better. But he has major issues. Sorry.

MessySurfaces · 10/05/2018 22:16

Oh dear!
I do think you need to find a way to get excited about house stuff together- easier said than done!
Can you chat about friend's houses you each do and don't like?
Aaaargh!

AjasLipstick · 10/05/2018 22:35

Well...the chrome tidy didn't look great but I sort of agree with him about the cupboard OP....it looks odd and badly fitting.

AngeloMysterioso · 10/05/2018 22:46

He’s put the tidy back in there with all his bits in the top shelf. I honestly want to cry.

Whitesea · 10/05/2018 22:58

The cupboard looked better than the chrome tidy, it made it look more like someone's home rather than a student rental if that makes sense. Sorry he is being an arse OP. x

AngeloMysterioso · 10/05/2018 23:21

Well, now we have both the cupboard and the chrome tidy, and I have a DH telling me I’m going behind his back and sneaking things in when he isn’t here, when all I’m trying to do is make our home a bit nicer. I honestly don’t know why I’m bothering.

TheFlis12345 · 10/05/2018 23:34

Wow OP, the more you post, the more I think you can make any home nice but some husbands are beyond help.

MaryLennoxsScowl · 10/05/2018 23:52

All your changes look so much better! I love the bureau! What style do you like? I’d go for multicoloured rather than trying to have a colour scheme. Give it a few days for him to cool off and then introduce one change per week. Simultaneously stand your ground and say you feel unwelcome in your own home as he won’t treat it as a shared flat. Get an oilcloth to cover the table, and some of the tie-on seat cushions. Get some nice patterned cushions and a wool throw for the sofa. Get a pretty mirror for the bathroom (not square - round or an organic shape with some natural wood, ideally) and I love a pp’s idea of a rag rug. Try H&M and Zara Home and Rockett St George and Etsy.

Your ultimate goal is to swap the coffee table for a nice one. Keep your eye on Gumtree until you find one that’s pretty and cheap (mine was £6 and just needed stripped). Then buy it and discuss it when it’s there (unscrew the legs of the horrible black one and slide it under the bed), being so reasonable and saying you can always sell it again if he doesn’t like it, but you’d already discussed compromising tastes. Then forget to list it for sale again. Keep pointing out that you feel unloved as he’s putting old furniture over your feelings.

QueenArseClangers · 10/05/2018 23:53

He sounds a right twat.

AngeloMysterioso · 11/05/2018 00:11

Here's the evolution of it... before, then with just the cupboard (admittedly I took the bin out for effect, but had it to the right of the cupboard, between that and the wall) and now how DH has got it. All because he doesn't want to fucking bend down to get to his things, even though that's what I've done ever since I bought the tidy because I put his convenience over mine and gave him the top shelf of it.

To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
AngeloMysterioso · 11/05/2018 00:18

I should have thrown the bloody thing away. I don’t know why I didn’t.

But anway. I’m done. I’m not tidying anymore, I’m not cleaning anymore, I’m not spending any more fucking money on cleaning products that only I ever use, if trying to turn that flat into a nice home is going to get me nothing but grief then I won’t bother.