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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?

315 replies

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 12:52

I've recently begun trying to make my home a bit nicer- I live in a tiny one bedroom flat with a balcony with my DH, and try as I might to make it actually a nice place to be, it's beginning to feel like an exercise in futility.

Let's start with the bathroom. It has no windows, and a tiled floor- the builders did a crappy job of grouting the tiles, it comes out in huge chunks so there are loads of gaps, and there is some on the tiles which I just haven't been able to shift which means parts of the floor just always look dirty. The tiles are grey with a sort of grainy texture to them. It's a tiny room with no storage at all, I bought this little floor tidy to put things in as it was about the only thing that would fit, but the room still manages to look cluttered. One of the light fittings has never worked either.

We have a combined kitchen/sitting room with wooden floors which were poorly fitted so in winter/when its cold you can't move an inch without them creaking like crazy. The washing machine makes so much noise at times it's pointless trying to watch TV or pay attention to anything else.

We have floor-to-ceiling windows with no windowsills and cheap vertical blinds like these. Same in the bedroom. All the windows are south facing and the blinds are practically transparent so on sunny days it gets absurdly hot.

The furniture - DH bought the place before we got together and furnished it like a typical cash-strapped bachelor with chunky black Ikea furniture as far as the eye can see, and the world's ugliest beige sofa. The black furniture shows up every speck of dust and fingerprint, so sometimes it feels like painting the Forth bridge trying to keep it looking nice! We do have a lovely bureau which I inherited when my GPs died but next to all the black Ikea stuff it just looks odd and out of place.

The bedroom - also tiny, we have a (chunky black Ikea) kingsize bed, a massive wardrobe (same again), chest of drawers in front of the window and a small bedside unit.

Hallway - essentially just an empty space, occasionally occupied by the clothes horse. Not enough room for any furniture.

The balcony - also pretty small with a glass wall, impossible to hang anything from (unless I use cable ties) because of the flat, roughly 2-inch wide rail along the inside. We don't tend to spend a great deal of time out there anyway because of the kids who play outside and scream their heads off until about 10 p.m. and our downstairs neighbours whose cigarette and weed smoke comes straight up at us.

I just don't know how to make it into a nice home. I keep it clean and tidy, have tried not to clutter it up with too much 'decorative' stuff but it's just never a particularly warm or inviting place to be. I can't afford to start replacing furniture, I did buy a throw for the sofa but because the sofa cushions don't even fucking fit it just looked messy.

Does anyone else feel like this about their home? Can anyone make any suggestions from how I might transform mine? It's getting thoroughly depressing at this point.

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InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 15:13

We got married last summer and I suppose it's only since then that I've really started thing of the flat as half mine, and not just his place that I moved into.

Re the washing machine - white good are included with the flat which is one a shared ownership scheme so I don't think it makes financial sense for us to buy another as long as we live here.

We've two bath mats in the bathroom (that I've arranged to cover the grouting gaps.)

I will have a look at painting the furniture but it'd be a hell of a project. The sheer size of things like the wardrobe and bed frame would make it quite tricky. Again will post pics later.

If JL vouchers last two years then we've got at least another year to go.

We aren't hoping to live here much longer than another year or so (I've lived here nearly 5 years, DH lived alone for about 6 months before we got together) but I just don't think I can stand it much longer! I hate that I'm trying so hard to make the place look nice and it feels so unrewarding.

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MissWilmottsGhost · 01/05/2018 15:17

Big windows and a balcony facing south, it sounds quite nice to me.

Agree with PP that the problem is more that your DP isn't letting you make it yours as much as his.

I would, in order of importance:

  1. scrape out and regrout the bathroom tiles.
  2. storage. Get it up on the walls if possible so you keep floor space.
  3. put herbs and flowers on the balcony.
  4. replace horrible blinds with curtains.
  5. soften the hard ikea furniture with textured cushions and throws.
  6. paint walls in a nice colour.
  7. replace impersonal shop-bought pictures with blown up own photos or real artwork (no need to spend £££, check out charity shops or diy if arty).
YetAnotherSpartacus · 01/05/2018 15:26

If you are going to sell then consider spending some money on projects that might improve the value of the property (?)

TheHonGalahadThreepwood · 01/05/2018 15:27

The furniture sounds awful and like your biggest problem. There's usually a market for 2nd hand IKEA furniture, realistically priced. Sell it on gumtree and replace piece by piece with really nice, solid wood stuff as it becomes available. Many people give theirs away or ask practically nothing for it (though there are also some people who have unrealistic ideas about what their old shit is worth). You really don't need a lot of money to replace furniture if you're prepared to spend a bit of time and energy looking for 2nd hand stuff. BHF shops can also be good for this.

Don't spend your JL vouchers on furniture! I love JL, but their furniture is colossally overpriced and you will pay a huge premium just because it's new. Spend your vouchers on luxury versions of everyday items like towels, bedding and any kitchen stuff you need - things where new does make a real difference. I would say curtains, but if you're planning to move soon then it's not worth it as you probably won't be able to take them with you. Everything else will last years and years and travel with you to your new place.

Surround your balcony with flowering pot plants and herbs in pots.

Not much you can do about the small bathroom with dodgy grouting or the creaky floorboards, but nice soft furnishings like rugs and towels really do make a difference and will make it much more luxurious.

Washing machine: put it on in the morning while you're showering and getting ready for work, not in the evenings and weekends when you want to relax in the sitting room.

You don't mention the walls. If they're tired-looking, paint them. Fresh, bright paint makes a huge difference.

MissWilmottsGhost · 01/05/2018 15:29

Personally I wouldn't paint the furniture, that veneered Ikea stuff doesn't look good painted.

Better to keep it nice and sell it if you really hate it, but I would just try and work with it tbh.

From what you have posted the flat is currently a lot of beige/brown/black. Sounds quite dull. Maybe try and get a bit of colour in it?

Agree with mina you shouldn't have to ask permission. It's your home too now and he needs to compromise his taste with yours. If you want a rug you should feel able to buy one.

Kismett · 01/05/2018 15:40

I moved in with my husband to a place that sounds similar to your own. It was tiny and a bit awful, but the real problem was him. He'd say there wasn't room for a better sofa, or no space for a dining table. And there wasn't much space, I'll grant you. But he had laid it out poorly and gotten furniture that wasn't space efficient.

It did cost money, but we did it little by little. And he was very resistant to change so it helped to take it slow. A lot of it wasn't expensive. I got a small table for something like £10 on Gumtree and used it as a dining table/desk/sewing table. We needed a temporary wardrobe so found a £10 clothes rack on Gumtree as well. We are still using both these items in the new house!

I agree that the furniture probably makes everything more difficult, because that was my own experience.

Eliza9917 · 01/05/2018 15:47

Let's start with the bathroom. It has no windows, and a tiled floor- the builders did a crappy job of grouting the tiles, it comes out in huge chunks so there are loads of gaps, and there is some on the tiles which I just haven't been able to shift which means parts of the floor just always look dirty. The tiles are grey with a sort of grainy texture to them.

Regrout and paint the floor tiles in the bathroom. Paint the walls white to make the room look bigger. I'd be tempted to add a stick on mural of a window but I don't mind a bit of tacky. Add shelving around the top of the room to add storage. Buy nice baskets to put things in.

wooden floors which were poorly fitted so in winter/when its cold you can't move an inch without them creaking like crazy.

Try putting rugs down in your living room? Could make a difference.

All the windows are south facing and the blinds are practically transparent so on sunny days it gets absurdly hot.

Could you get that mirrored stick on stuff that you can see out but people can't see in and it deflects the sun.

The black furniture shows up every speck of dust and fingerprint, so sometimes it feels like painting the Forth bridge trying to keep it looking nice!

Could you spray paint it all a better colour? Change the legs/handles etc so they look nicer.

The bedroom - also tiny, we have a (chunky black Ikea) kingsize bed, a massive wardrobe (same again), chest of drawers in front of the window and a small bedside unit.

Consult pinterest on how to make a bedroom look better with textures and colours etc.

Hallway - essentially just an empty space, occasionally occupied by the clothes horse. Not enough room for any furniture.

Mount storage on the wall above head height.

The balcony - also pretty small with a glass wall, impossible to hang anything from (unless I use cable ties) because of the flat, roughly 2-inch wide rail along the inside.

Attach loads of pots and grow herbs/succulents/easy flowers to make it look nicer.

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 15:57

The walls are white throughout (with plenty of marks and scuffs)

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Kismett · 01/05/2018 16:27

Oh, meant to add our bathroom didn’t have a window either. My husband painted it a light blue and we got two beachy paintings from Dunelm. We aren’t beachy people at all but it really brightened the place up and I liked the bathroom so much more.

SoyDora · 01/05/2018 16:52

Just repainting in white to cover the marks will make a difference. I hate scuffed walls!

londonmummy1966 · 01/05/2018 17:21

If you need to live with the black furniture I'd go for accessories in bright contrasting colours like orange and turquoise - like the pouffee a pp linked to, cushions and rug to match the colour scheme. You could also consider dying the sofa covers to match with Dylon in the washing machine - eg base covers and the front set of cushions in turquoise and the middle set of cushions in orange plus an orange throw over one arm. A couple of lamps to give you softer lighting in the evening helps and you can use a try on the pouffee as a small drinks table when you don't need it for seating/putting your feet up.

A peg rail on the bathroom wall to hang wicker baskets for toiletries is a good way of adding storage if you can't put up shelves. I'd second putting down some lino if you can to cover the tiles - as the room is small you should be able to get a cheap offcut. Big bath mats - John Lewis sell them - look more luxurious than standard sized ones.

Zara Home have a nice range of accessories for most rooms - not that much more expensive than IKEA - I have had lots of lovely things from them over the years.

BrendasUmbrella · 01/05/2018 18:04

If the walls are still mainly bright white you might get away with just touching up the scuff marks using a tester? If not, just buy the cheapest white paint for an all over coat and focus several coats on the marks.

And let us know what you decide to do! I like makeover threads!

pigmcpigface · 01/05/2018 18:07

It is impossible to decorate some home into niceness, because fundamental work needs doing. Take my old hall - the plaster was falling off the wall and the staircase was totally shot. No amount of painting and prettying was ever going to deal with those things. Sometimes you have to go back to basics and put in a lot of time, energy and hard work to get things sorted out.

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 19:28

Ok, photos coming- brace yourselves!

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InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 19:36

Bathroom- I deliberately arrange the bath mats to cover the worst of the gaps in the tiles. The floor was mopped yesterday- that’s the cleanest I can ever get it to look.

To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
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BrownTurkey · 01/05/2018 19:45

DH had some art I hated when I moved in. He got super offended and resistant when I asked about making some changes. I held my ground and pointed out that as I was moving into his place, I needed to feel like I could have a say. We moved some of his pictures, put a few away, and chose something together. Can you regrout the tiles with grey grout? And the diy store may have some products that will get rid of whatever is on them (tile cleaner, tile polish and tile sealer was what I used on our hallway ones).

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 19:46

Hallway- pics are bigger than it looks, it’s probably only 3 metres from one end to the other, if that. The two cupboards are all the way full.

To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
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Smithy01 · 01/05/2018 19:50

I think some shelves in the bathroom would be a good idea for storage and to break up the plain walls a little. I’d change the storage unit to a cupboard/door type. Put stuff that looks fancy on the shelves and normal everyday items in the cupboard. Minimal cost if you check some of the cheaper home stores.

KTheGrey · 01/05/2018 19:56

I agree about re-grouting the floor tiles first. YouTube can tell you how to do anything.

Then can you get a super-tiny drawer unit for where you have the chrome tidy to hide everything out of sight?

Also do you like the navy? Because quality bath stuff in a bright bathroom colour (you know, turquoise or blue or green) might lift it. Plus something pretty - cacti? air plants? - on the walls?

ShirleyPhallus · 01/05/2018 19:57

I don’t really see the point in saving the JL vouchers. If you want to upgrade stuff now why not just do it and take it with you?

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 20:02

Sitting room- again, the built in cupboard is full. The bag hanging off the radiator is where DH deposits his sweaty running gear because he doesn’t want to put it with the rest of his laundry. That corner is also where he “keeps” his golf clubs, assorted pairs of trainers, boxes of golf balls etc.

To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
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WipsGlitter · 01/05/2018 20:02

Your need a wall mounted corner cabinet for all that clutter in the bathroom.

WipsGlitter · 01/05/2018 20:03

De-clutter and get rid of that sofa!!

SoyDora · 01/05/2018 20:11

What are the cupboards full of? If you could declutter in there then he could keep his golf clubs etc out of sight.

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 20:12

Kitchen- not a lot to say about it, it is what it is. Got my teapot collection on top of the cupboards.

To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?
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