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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's impossible to make some homes nice?

315 replies

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 12:52

I've recently begun trying to make my home a bit nicer- I live in a tiny one bedroom flat with a balcony with my DH, and try as I might to make it actually a nice place to be, it's beginning to feel like an exercise in futility.

Let's start with the bathroom. It has no windows, and a tiled floor- the builders did a crappy job of grouting the tiles, it comes out in huge chunks so there are loads of gaps, and there is some on the tiles which I just haven't been able to shift which means parts of the floor just always look dirty. The tiles are grey with a sort of grainy texture to them. It's a tiny room with no storage at all, I bought this little floor tidy to put things in as it was about the only thing that would fit, but the room still manages to look cluttered. One of the light fittings has never worked either.

We have a combined kitchen/sitting room with wooden floors which were poorly fitted so in winter/when its cold you can't move an inch without them creaking like crazy. The washing machine makes so much noise at times it's pointless trying to watch TV or pay attention to anything else.

We have floor-to-ceiling windows with no windowsills and cheap vertical blinds like these. Same in the bedroom. All the windows are south facing and the blinds are practically transparent so on sunny days it gets absurdly hot.

The furniture - DH bought the place before we got together and furnished it like a typical cash-strapped bachelor with chunky black Ikea furniture as far as the eye can see, and the world's ugliest beige sofa. The black furniture shows up every speck of dust and fingerprint, so sometimes it feels like painting the Forth bridge trying to keep it looking nice! We do have a lovely bureau which I inherited when my GPs died but next to all the black Ikea stuff it just looks odd and out of place.

The bedroom - also tiny, we have a (chunky black Ikea) kingsize bed, a massive wardrobe (same again), chest of drawers in front of the window and a small bedside unit.

Hallway - essentially just an empty space, occasionally occupied by the clothes horse. Not enough room for any furniture.

The balcony - also pretty small with a glass wall, impossible to hang anything from (unless I use cable ties) because of the flat, roughly 2-inch wide rail along the inside. We don't tend to spend a great deal of time out there anyway because of the kids who play outside and scream their heads off until about 10 p.m. and our downstairs neighbours whose cigarette and weed smoke comes straight up at us.

I just don't know how to make it into a nice home. I keep it clean and tidy, have tried not to clutter it up with too much 'decorative' stuff but it's just never a particularly warm or inviting place to be. I can't afford to start replacing furniture, I did buy a throw for the sofa but because the sofa cushions don't even fucking fit it just looked messy.

Does anyone else feel like this about their home? Can anyone make any suggestions from how I might transform mine? It's getting thoroughly depressing at this point.

OP posts:
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42
FrancisUnderwood · 01/05/2018 20:52

I agree OP.

That sofa is fucking hideous.

WipsGlitter · 01/05/2018 20:52

Ok from the last pic alone - all the clutter on top of and under the desk distracts from it. The cups alone would be enough. Get rid of the dvd towers and dvds- Netflix is your friend!! Move the desk to the hall or where the table is. Get rid of the golf picture!! Get a proper tv unit.

gawdsake · 01/05/2018 20:57

OP the flat actually isn't bad. It does look erm, 'bachelor-y' like you said but it's actually ok. I reckon warm neutral tones on the wall would help, maybe some nice wallpaper.

As PP suggested, some nice indoor plants. And yes I'd get rid of the settee and get something cosier looking

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 20:58

Thanks for all the tips everyone! To clarify, I did not choose any of the furniture or the colour of the walls, it was already here when I moved in. The only bit of furniture that is mine is the bureau.

This is pretty much what the flat looks like post-decluttering. Believe me.

OP posts:
babybatbear · 01/05/2018 20:59

Reminds me of my house, no matter what I do to it, it never looks better 😫

KanielOutis · 01/05/2018 20:59

It looks great to me. A one bed flat is fine for two people. A bit at a time you can make changes to personalise it.

SoyDora · 01/05/2018 21:01

The bureau is the only bit of furniture I like Grin

InteriorDespairer · 01/05/2018 21:02

I don’t mind the navy blue in the bathroom, in fact I only just bought the soap dispenser, cup thing and loo brush in a vain attempt to make it look like we have a colour scheme.

And the sofa looked even fuglier before my ILs gave us the two square cushions from their old living room set!

You see what I’m up against!

OP posts:
Badweekjustgotworse · 01/05/2018 21:09

Would the sofa fit in on the wall the kitchen is on? Sitting on that sofa where it is, you’re looking at an awful lot of busy. If you had the telly wall mounted on the wall the sofa is currently on when you sat on the sofa on the opposite wall you’d have a much cleaner view so the room would feel bigger.

Don’t know your budget or diy skills but I’d chuck the small dining table altogether and get a carpenter to wall mount a hinged table on that wall where the table is currently pushed up to so it can be lifted up and flush with the wall when not in use and then flipped down when you needed it. Two nice folding chairs that could be hung on wall hooks in the kitchen when not in use. Keep to the same wood tones as the flooring.

Kitchen needs all the crap off the fridge, bin it, none of it adds anything other than eye clutter. Get rid of the bin and put a small one in one of the cupboards, chuck whatever you can to make room for it.

Get rid of the blinds! Layer up a few voil curtains

Bathroom you need a wall mounted slimline cupboard to hide all the toiletries and cleaning stuff, you could put one up above the radiator beside the bath, change the flat mirror for a mirrored wall cabinet, you can get cheap ones in b and q or Homebase etc. I’d also put a floating self in above the loo and have a nice trailing plant and maybe one or two carefully chosen glass pieces to add warmth

Whatevszz · 01/05/2018 21:10

I think the flat is lovely. Love the sofa, I think it just needs some hidden storage (e.g. Cds not out on display) some more characterful furniture and some plants / colour.

Notevilstepmother · 01/05/2018 21:12

I think what’s missing to make it homely is some kind of accent colour. The whole flat is black white and beige/wood.

I’d get a bright duvet cover, some cushions on the sofa of —doom— beige and some voile curtains, maybe keep the blinds behind if it’s easier.

Your DH will hate it as no doubt he loves his monochrome manflat, but it’s your home too.

flubdub · 01/05/2018 21:16

It think it's really nice! From your description, I was expecting a dump!
The flat itself is lovely. The bathroom floor tiles need regrouting which is quite easy to do yourself.
The bathroom needs some colour in it. But apart from that, I like it!

Notevilstepmother · 01/05/2018 21:18

Obviously it depends what colour you like but if you look at this you can see they’ve put the lamp colour and the bowl underneath to match the colour in the curtains.

www.dunelm.com/product/butterfly-print-duck-egg-tape-top-voile-panel-1000092987

Personally I think the colour would go well with your existing neutral, but I’m not sure if butterflies would send your DH over the edge!!!

Crumblevision · 01/05/2018 21:22

If I can add my two penneth; the photos are far better than what you described in your OP. IMO, you would be better off spending your JL vouchers now, and buy stuff you can eventually take with you. I would get rid of the magnets on the fridge door, the pic above the TV and all the stuff on the bureau. I know you said you have decluttered but it looks like more needs doing. You seem to have a lot of storage which could potentially be put to better use. If your DH is reluctant, get him TLCMOFT by Marie Kondo and get him to read it and apply it (easier said than done I know). Whatever you decide to get rid of, car boot it/gumtree it, and use the proceeds for paint/living room curtains etc. It seems likely a lovely space, and bright and airy. Good luck

SunwheretheFareyou · 01/05/2018 21:23

When I look around my home the dirt or grout is the last thing I think about when I assess how beautiful it is.

Floor to ceiling windows beg for beautiful stunning curtains.. Get rid of the blinds!!
Get rid of nasty sofa..

Don't put washing machine on at strange time Grin.

Get furniture that fits your the place, picture on wall loads of mirrors... You can do it but not with those blinds..

Crumblevision · 01/05/2018 21:24

I would also get rid of the dvd cabinets either side of the tv. It would make a huge difference to that corner.

clairedelalune · 01/05/2018 21:27

It does not look as bad as you described. It does also not look cluttered (I dread to think what you would all say about mine.... Grin). I am going against the grain- I quite like vertical blinds in the right building as when shut, they just blend into the wall (mine are the exact colour as the paint). I think you just need a few more bits and bobs to make it more homely and I think ikea could be your friend:

  • big rug in living room. Just go and buy one. It's your house too.
  • massive ornate mirror / massive print on bedroom wall. Replace two wash baskets with one.
  • floating shelves above tv instead of the cd/dvd racks. DVDs in pretty cardboard storage boxes.
  • couple of throws on sofa
-use some jl vouchers for some really nice cushions. Mix and match them.
  • bathroom. I would be tempted to either regrout or buy a large ish rag rug (or two) with lots of colour. Maybe a nice ornate mirror in there too.
  • flowers and plants where possible in each room. Large vase on floor?
Don't forget places like not on the high street for throws, bedspreads etc
clairedelalune · 01/05/2018 21:29

And then when you move into your new house lose the black furniture

Crumblevision · 01/05/2018 21:31

Can you put the bureau in the hall in front of the little radiator? Centre the tv between the fridge and the window wall (after getting rid of those dvd cabinets). Also, you said you have a few pairs of wellies - get rid and just keep one pair. You have to work with the space you have got and that means you both being ruthless. Read Marie Kondo, it is life changing - honestly.

Peanutbuttercups21 · 01/05/2018 21:32

It is "horrible" because it is done to your DH taste, and your styles don't match!

Visited a friend in former DDR, proper Soviet style 1 bed flat. It was charming and homey and cosy. The bathroom was tiny with no window, but they replaces some bricks by see-through ones at the top, to let in some light. They generally had clever lighting.

Any place can be a home, but you hooked up with Joey from Friends Wink

clairedelalune · 01/05/2018 21:32

Jl have really nice bedding too

SkaPunkPrincess · 01/05/2018 21:32

Start by getting rid of 50% of your "stuff" I did this recently and my home is so much easier to keep tidy.

Replace the furniture if you don't like it.

Regrout the bathroom floor. sandpaper should get any residue off and paint the tiles. Replace the lightbulb with a daylight LED

Buy closeable attractive storage boxes for the bathroom or dedicate a draw for bathroom clutter in your bedroom and only leave what is absolutely necessary in there.

Change your blinds or add a curtain rail.

Alternatively sell up and move.

SunwheretheFareyou · 01/05/2018 21:34

Ok op Grin now I have seen the the photos Grin

It's got potential. Zara for bathroom mats colours.. Lovely and some accessories.

Your biggest problem in the flat is the cheap looking black furniture!! And that ugly ugly sofa.

I would simply get rid of all the black.. New kitchen counters, new sofa, 🆕 table and chairs.. The old wood bearu looks fab!

Slowly get rid of all the old black everywhere... Zara have great sales and lovely home accessories for things like Bath mats.. Tk max, home sense..

Furniture have a look at local sales.. For table and chairs to eat off..

Can you paint the doors of the flat.they and the blinds scream office to me otherwise it looks lovely!! I have seen abd lived in far worse

IronMaggie · 01/05/2018 21:44

I actually think it's really nice!

The first flat we bought together was probably about the same size only it had a (tiny) second bedroom which was filled to the brim with junk as we had so little storage.

As a PP said, once you and DH start making decisions together it'll start to feel much more like home - it can just take a while if you don't have an unlimited budget. It's really not that bad though!

OohMavis · 01/05/2018 22:00

That sofa is something special. How do you lounge on it?! It's like a box.

It's an old MN trope, but I don't think you have a flat problem, you have a DH problem.

He won't let you buy a rug? Erm, it's your home too. Why the golf course picture? Where's your stamp on the place? You need to talk to him and he needs to listen.