Did I overreact?

[MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup]

I usually cook from scratch every day, which takes time and effort and my DH likes and eats the meals I cook. This weekend, I just wanted a break from it so I went and got an oven pizza and told him that I was doing it tonight but I am going to add toppings onto it and he said fine. He obviously was not listening!

So I did it, it took time to chop the veg, cook and season chicken to add on top of it! He came home and said have you cooked anything? and I said yes I cooked pizza like we agreed? and he said is that it? I said.. yes.. it's enough to feed us both! He came downstairs and I was waiting for him at the table then he said "I'm not having that, I don't fancy it! I don't like it..." I don't know what happened, I just got really upset and I threw it in the bin and said if you'd told me earlier when I bought it I could've just done something else! I went off to be on my own and he's not finding something to cook... horrible of me seeing as he's just been work!

I feel like I acted immaturely by doing that but I don't know why I felt upset by it because I always make an effort to cook and ensure food is ready for him but for some reason, I decide to just buy a pizza and he, all of a sudden doesn't fancy it! I ought to just go and help him cook but I don't know why I feel upset and irritated that he just couldn't accept that I haven't cooked for one poxy day.

Not I think you under reacted and have been for a long time. Does dh ever cook? You know you are not his chef, you are his partner

You can't make him eat the pizza though, doesn't sound like he was nasty about it and just said he doesn't fancy it.

It's not something I'd cook my DH after being at work. Was there any side salad or anything?

Why the hell would you go help him cook? Your reaction probably would have been better with "All the more for me so, you know where the oven is", but then I can't imagine binning a perfectly good pizza

You aren't his housemaid, and he should have said something earlier instead of acting up.

Why did you not just get a pizza with toppings on it?

You should have told him to get himself a takeaway, and you'd have the pizza

Yes he’s being a dick.

But what’s the point of having a night off and then cooking chicken and prepping veg to add to it?

My ex (dd1 father once sat down & said @is that it?” To the dinner I’d made.
I was so angry with him, I was getting by on a pittance doing the best I could & actually it’s not OUR JOBS to feed them, they’ve got arms and brains.
Be annoyed with him, he was rude and thoughtless to you imo

Er no, don't even think about helping him. He can cook his own bloody dinner next time if he doesn't like it.

Does your DH have arms? Yes?

Then he can cook his own twatting tea.

He sounds a bit controlling. Why is it you always cooking? Does he make you feel guily about other things?

Stop feeling guilty. You have nothing to be guilty about.

You seem to be making work for yourself. Surely the joy of pizza is it is ready made - ie take out of packaging and lob in oven. Job done.

I think you feel taken for granted and tonight was symptomatic

Is this real? You feel guilty because you cooked your DH something and he said he wouldn't eat it and now has to cook himself something? My DH comes home from work and has to cook for both of us some nights because we share our lives. I am not his employee.

It's not something I'd cook my DH after being at work. Was there any side salad or anything?

What's him being at work got to do with it anyway. Either the OP is sahm which means she is doing work of a different kind or she also works or she is an tiny minority of people who don't work at all despite having no DC. Even if that is the case she did cook him something she didn't leave him to starve and she ran the pizza idea past him anyway!!!

He was a dick. If he had a preference he shoulda suggested and made it.

Seems alot of effort to go to to avoid cooking

Why not just order one where u can pick toppings

Have we stepped back into the 1950s?
I hope you had his slippers warmed as well 😀

YANBU. It's a shame about the pizza, but only because YOU didn't get to eat it, not him.

You cook from scratch every night, he should have shut up and eaten it without a word.

If he didn't fancy it he should have said something when you told him what you were making.

I think you've had enough of doung all the cooking. How is housework split between you?

If you wanted an easy meal, why not just buy a pre-topped pizza and cook it? Why did you feel the need to buy a plain one and spend ages faffing with it? I can understand you feeling that DH was rejecting all your effort, but surely the answer is to put less effort in and to care a bit less about what he is eating so that you separate your self-worth from whether he fancies the food you produce.

Read the OP. Jaw dropped.
Read it again.
Read the responses.
Jaw still dropped.
Can't actually formulate a sensible response except for why the fuck do you let him treat you like a house slave?

MinnieMoose what a classic - Was there any side salad or anything? You are funny.

YANBU. I don't know anyone who doesn't shove a pizza in the oven every now and then. Imagine what any of us would say if a 10 year old decided they wouldn't dane to eat an oven pizza.

It sounds to me like he is rude and pretty ungrateful.

I think throwing it in the bin was a waste, but understandable. I would have eaten it myself and let him fix whatever he wants.

I'm assuming you do not work outside the home at all and he works full time so you have an agreement you will do all the cooking? Even so, if he can't bothered to listen when you talk, I can't see why he was upset.

Does he ever cook for you?

How fucking rude of him. Why are you feeling guilty? He should be the one apologising. And why do you do all the cooking?