Did I overreact?

[MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup]

I usually cook from scratch every day, which takes time and effort and my DH likes and eats the meals I cook. This weekend, I just wanted a break from it so I went and got an oven pizza and told him that I was doing it tonight but I am going to add toppings onto it and he said fine. He obviously was not listening!

So I did it, it took time to chop the veg, cook and season chicken to add on top of it! He came home and said have you cooked anything? and I said yes I cooked pizza like we agreed? and he said is that it? I said.. yes.. it's enough to feed us both! He came downstairs and I was waiting for him at the table then he said "I'm not having that, I don't fancy it! I don't like it..." I don't know what happened, I just got really upset and I threw it in the bin and said if you'd told me earlier when I bought it I could've just done something else! I went off to be on my own and he's not finding something to cook... horrible of me seeing as he's just been work!

I feel like I acted immaturely by doing that but I don't know why I felt upset by it because I always make an effort to cook and ensure food is ready for him but for some reason, I decide to just buy a pizza and he, all of a sudden doesn't fancy it! I ought to just go and help him cook but I don't know why I feel upset and irritated that he just couldn't accept that I haven't cooked for one poxy day.

Omg have I missed the last 100 years of women liberation from being domestic slaves ?

he said is that it?

This is never an appropriate response when someone has put dinner in front of you.

The only thing you did that was unreasonable was binning the pizza and not enjoying it, either before or after telling him to get fucked would have been fine. He didn’t listen, he was rude, ungrateful and entitled. Why on earth do you think that you’ve been (to use your own words) horrible, immature and that you should go and help him cook? From the outside this sounds like an abusive relationship.

What a waste of a good pizza

I once cooked chicken my way and not the way my ex 'suggested'. It was my turn to cook and I told him I'd already planned the meal and I wasn't going out to buy anything else.

He sulked for a bit then, when it was ready, had a massive strop and refused to eat and got a takeaway. There was nothing wrong with the meal. He was being a dick.

If I had left him then it would have saved years of misery.

He said “is that it?”
What a rude twat.
You don’t have to cook him anything. I hope you didn’t cave in.

You can't make him eat the pizza though, doesn't sound like he was nasty about it and just said he doesn't fancy it.

It's not something I'd cook my DH after being at work. Was there any side salad or anything?

Tell him to cook his own fucking tea in future.

Seriously OP, why are you putting up with that shit? Why chuck it out, you need feeding as well don’t you? Let him stew.

And who has a fucking salad with pizza? What’s the point?!

I'm going to be looking at everything this week and asking "is there a side salad with that?"

Tell him to cook his own bloody tea then! The cheek!

My partner was once moaning the chicken I cooked him was dry so I took the plate off him and threw the lot in the bin and said well you don’t have to eat it now do you. He then made a pizza from freezer while I went into the front room and watched tv. He never made a side salad with his pizza either the pizza was enough even though he went to work that day.

Shocking. As my DH says, many relationships go wrong when one or the other of the couple, begin to expect certain treatment...taking one another for granted and assuming.

It means you lose respect for one another and no appreciation is shown.

I generally cook for my DH BUT if I don't he never says a word...he'll just cook for us both...same here...if I've been working and he's been at home, he will sort dinner but if not then that's fine too.

We're all individuals OP...we can't expect certain favours! You're both adults.

I would have ate the full pizza out of spite and told him to find himself something.
Sorry but you dh is being a dick.
You spoke about it and he said okay.
You his wife not his mother.
And I am sure he works hard. But I am sure you also do too wither it be out at work/ looking after children/ or being a housewife.
Everyone works hard. Doesn't mean they get to treat others like crap.

"I'm not having that, I don't fancy it! I don't like it..

The correct response at that point would have been "okay", followed by you sitting down to eat your pizza. A grown man (or woman) is perfectly capable of cooking their own food after a day's work.

I've been doing it for years and so have many others.

Wow. My DH would have found himself wearing the pizza as a jaunty beret.

I'm speechless that you allow him to treat you like that.

I would never waste a pizza on the bin or my OH's head. Even a frozen one is too good for that.

Nom nom nom

*"I'm not having that, I don't fancy it! I don't like it..

The correct response at that point would have been "okay", followed by you sitting down to eat your pizza. A grown man (or woman) is perfectly capable of cooking their own food after a day's work.*

Absolutely, and isn't that what he ended up doing... cooking his own dinner?
OP I think you over reacted by throwing the pizza in the bin and then getting SO upset about it. It would've been better to have just rolled your eyes while mumbling "well you should've told me in the first place when I suggested it" through a gobful of delicious pizza!

Why do people put up with this shit? Tell him to fuck off and stop treating you like a domestic slave.

I am middle aged and DH and I have a very traditional relationship dynamic where he earns the money and I am responsible for the house/cooking/wifework etc. It's old fashioned but it works for us. That being said I am not his bloody house elf - if he questioned what I had prepared I would have done exactly what you did OP. We have divided our roles and if he is ever unhappy with the way I choose to perform my role he is welcome to step in and take over.

Today we had bacon sandwiches for brunch and burgers for dinner with chocolate mini rolls in the middle. How the standards have slipped since DCs flew the nest!

OP
You under reacted
He was so fuckig rude
What's he like usually?

Minnie, thanks for visiting but the 1950s need you back on set.

"I'm not having that, I don't fancy it! I don't like it.."

...is a phrase I'd only expect from very small children.

Yes, YWBU. For cooking toppings for a pizza and for throwing pizza away.

What is the rest of your relationship like?

One pizza between two people is really not enough (and I have a very small appetite as it is), but when he said he didn’t want it you should have just accepted it, eaten the pizza yourself and let him sort his own food out.

He was rude, but you overreacted by throwing it away.

If my partner had reacted in such an ungrateful manner, I'd have shoved that pizza up his arse. Topping or no topping.

Nah, fuck that. What the fuck?

There's been a couple of times I've been a bit cunty to my husband about food because as soon as things are finished cooking, he puts them on the table without bothering to keep them warm and after a long day at work, I just don't fancy, like, freezing cold peas and boiling hot chicken together. And I have to admit, I have snapped at him a couple of times because he knows I can't stand having things all different temperatures. But he has gotten better at managing the temperatures and I have gotten better at just heating things up if they got cold.

I would certainly never say I didn't want to eat it if he'd prepared it.

So what if he's been at work all day? My husband and I both work and we still have to prepare stuff when we come home. Work doesn't mean that making dinner is impossible.