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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What a weird night/day...

209 replies

ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 21:29

Bit of an odd story and I'm not sure what I want/expect replies wise but here goes...

Back story, currently 24 weeks pregnant with DD1. Working full time and generally knackered 24/7.
So, last night I worked a late shift at work. Finished at 11pm and drove home as per usual.
DFiance was at home and normally goes up to bed before I'm back.
I get home at 11:30pm and the house is in darkness so assume he's upstairs. Go to open the door and it's locked. The dogs at this point are barking the house down - intruder alert, (we have four big dogs). Try my key in the lock and it won't go in because his keys are in the other side of the door.
Tried to call his mobile - not answering (probably on silent).
Tried to call the house phone - doesn't hear that either.
Try the back door, same scenario.
Chucked stones at the bedroom window - nothing.
So I go back around to the front of the house.
I then tried to reach the keys through the letter box, my hand was too big to get anywhere near the lock or dangling keys. Tried to hook them with a long stick but the stick was the wrong shape and no use.
Then I tried to remove the letter box. Luckily had access to a screwdriver but couldn't remove both sides and so this was useless too.
Tried the windows, all closed and feasibly I wouldn't have been able to scramble up or get through any of them Hmm
Tried to push the key out but couldn't do that either.
By midnight I decided to give up. With no money on me I had no choice other than to sleep in my car.
I had an old rug in the boot (used for the dogs) so I curled up under that, had raging heartburn all night, horrific cramping from being contorted into weird shapes and slept for about 3 broken hours in total.

DF sent me a message saying sorry, asking where I was at 7ish this morning and that he had unlocked the door. I was in McDonalds at this point as I was desperate for a wee & treated myself to a cup of tea.

I got home and went straight to bed and I've been here pretty much ever since.

DF has been lying on the sofa all day and not once has he apologised verbally to me. He's just slothed there watching TV (supposed to be working). I asked if he was feeling ok and he says he has stomach ache.

AIBU to want to shout at him?
I'm sure it was a mistake and he didn't mean to lock his pregnant fiancée out in the cold all night but the lack of verbal apology and the fact that he's done sod all all day makes me a bit annoyed really.
If it were the other way around I'd at least have made an effort to show I gave a shit about my mistake.

Hmm
OP posts:
ColdStarFish · 27/04/2018 23:03

I did mention to him what would happen if he never hears her in the night.

He seems to think he will because she will be in such close proximity to him but I can pretty much guarantee that I will wake up with every move she makes and he will be happily snoring away.

Maybe I could push him out of bed into the floor. Perhaps that would wake him.

OP posts:
CherryBlossomSeason · 27/04/2018 23:14

Is he secretive? Do you think anything else could be going on with him ie; dabbling in something?

The lack of panic, concern and appropriate apology is odd. It does happen though.

My friend got back in the early hours and her key snapped in the lock. She called both the landline and mobile, banged the door, shouted, threw stones but he didn't wake up. He was VERY sorry though!

condepetie · 27/04/2018 23:28

Why would you have to beg the hotel to let him pay in the morning? They wouldn't allow that, btw. Why couldn't you pay for your own hotel, if this happened when you were out with the baby?

UndomesticHousewife · 27/04/2018 23:48

We replaced our lock with a thumb turn lock so no key needed to lock/unlock door.
This was because no one could find the keys if we’d taken them out of the door to unlock the door and also dc would go into the house lock the door leave keys in door and then put earphones in/tv so loud/fall asleep so we couldn’t unlock door and they would hear us.

Your dh could have been a bit more worried about you considering you’re 6 months pregnant, his reaction is a bit strange.

spudlet7 · 28/04/2018 00:15

@condepetie I think she was saying she'd have to get OH to pay in morning because she didn't have her credit cards with her (and not enough on her debit card) so wouldn't have been able to pay on check in. I think you're right in that the hotel would be likely to refuse that though

ColdStarFish · 28/04/2018 08:37

Yes @spudlet7 that is what I was getting at - think someone asked what I would have done if I had the baby with me (on the outside) and the same happened.

I know it probably wouldn't work but worth a try if I was desperate I suppose.

OP posts:
ColdStarFish · 28/04/2018 08:45

@CherryBlossomSeason

He's not particularly secretive but he is guarded with emotions and always has been. As I said in a previous post, he's been receiving counselling for that issue and has been making some progress.

His initial reaction was really shit and I explained to him that it was horrible for me to feel as though he didn't care about me or baby. He understood fully the next day and after he'd had time to reflect we had a long conversation the next day in which his opening line was "I really want to apologise to you properly".

Having taken time to think about it all I don't think he was up to anything suspicious to be honest.

Feasibly he had to be in the house.

I don't see how another person could be in there, yes it is possible but I don't see why anyone would have a booty call arranged for the time I would arrive back home, unless you want to be caught. Doesn't really make much sense to me.

We hadn't had a fall out about anything so I don't think he locked me out on purpose.

He doesn't drink often and doesn't do drugs so I don't think he was in a mess.

I think he just fucked up and didn't know how to apologise like an adult.

He said to me the day after he felt devastated that he could be that stupid and was beating himself up about it and probably will continue to do so for some time.

OP posts:
Inertia · 28/04/2018 14:05

It sounds like progress, though I think you are right to consider changing the lock so it cannot happen again.

You do need to think about carrying a credit card with you though. The whole point of emergencies is that you don’t know when they are going to happen.

ColdStarFish · 28/04/2018 22:11

Absolutely @Inertia - lesson learned!

OP posts:
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