What a weird night/day...

[ColdStarFish]

Bit of an odd story and I'm not sure what I want/expect replies wise but here goes...

Back story, currently 24 weeks pregnant with DD1. Working full time and generally knackered 24/7.
So, last night I worked a late shift at work. Finished at 11pm and drove home as per usual.
DFiance was at home and normally goes up to bed before I'm back.
I get home at 11:30pm and the house is in darkness so assume he's upstairs. Go to open the door and it's locked. The dogs at this point are barking the house down - intruder alert, (we have four big dogs). Try my key in the lock and it won't go in because his keys are in the other side of the door.
Tried to call his mobile - not answering (probably on silent).
Tried to call the house phone - doesn't hear that either.
Try the back door, same scenario.
Chucked stones at the bedroom window - nothing.
So I go back around to the front of the house.
I then tried to reach the keys through the letter box, my hand was too big to get anywhere near the lock or dangling keys. Tried to hook them with a long stick but the stick was the wrong shape and no use.
Then I tried to remove the letter box. Luckily had access to a screwdriver but couldn't remove both sides and so this was useless too.
Tried the windows, all closed and feasibly I wouldn't have been able to scramble up or get through any of them
Tried to push the key out but couldn't do that either.
By midnight I decided to give up. With no money on me I had no choice other than to sleep in my car.
I had an old rug in the boot (used for the dogs) so I curled up under that, had raging heartburn all night, horrific cramping from being contorted into weird shapes and slept for about 3 broken hours in total.

DF sent me a message saying sorry, asking where I was at 7ish this morning and that he had unlocked the door. I was in McDonalds at this point as I was desperate for a wee & treated myself to a cup of tea.

I got home and went straight to bed and I've been here pretty much ever since.

DF has been lying on the sofa all day and not once has he apologised verbally to me. He's just slothed there watching TV (supposed to be working). I asked if he was feeling ok and he says he has stomach ache.

AIBU to want to shout at him?
I'm sure it was a mistake and he didn't mean to lock his pregnant fiancée out in the cold all night but the lack of verbal apology and the fact that he's done sod all all day makes me a bit annoyed really.
If it were the other way around I'd at least have made an effort to show I gave a shit about my mistake.

steff13

Do you live in an underground cave? Or on another planet?

How have you got to adulthood and never come across doors that can be locked with a key on the inside?

Totally weird under reaction on your part. I would have gone fucking mental and DP would never live it down. So odd.

Definitely not afraid of confrontation, I'm fiery at the best of times, I'm just so bloody knackered I can't be arsed right now.

Give the baby your surname.

I think he did it on purpose. Admittedly I may be projecting because I had an ex who did that to me . . .once. He never did it again because I went round to his DSIS and DBIL (who lived near us) and spent the night on their sofa. They both gave him a hard time before I could.
Most DPs would wonder where their pregnant partner was before 7am the next morning. His priorities are worrying. His apology non-existent ( a 'sorry' text doesn't cut it). I understand that you're tired but you actually need a serious conversation about this. He treated you very badly.
Imagine how you would feel if a pregnant friend told you this story. Then channel that anger and disappointment, and clearly explain to your DP why his behaviour was unacceptable.

@Justmuddlingalong there may not be shouting, not really up for any that's all.

flubdub- but this guy has shown zero remorse or interest.

If it happened die to being a deep sleeper don't you think a decent man would be horrified that he caused his pregnant wife to sleep in the car.

A decent man would be grovelling and doing everything in his power to put things right and make sure his partner is fussed over today for causing such a bad night.

I've never seen a lock that took a key on the inside. After reading this, it seems kind of inconvenient.

My front door has to be locked (from either side) to get all the bolts up the side to drive home.

If the DD you're carrying, when she's older, told you this had happened, what would you suggest to her?

I will address the situation though. I'd be interested to see what he has to say as an excuse.

The longer this thread goes on, the more weird it is that you haven’t actually spoken to him about this.

When you say you can’t deal with the shouting etc, do you mean that you can’t call him up on anything because he escalates it into a drama?

I think I'd be heavily asleep with the door locked next time he went out for the evening.

But petty revenges aside, it doesn't bode well for the future. I wish you all the best OP but I'd be getting my ducks in a row.

Don’t blame yourself!! You aren’t being a dick!
He locked the doors so IMO unless he was being held hostage he did that willingly- accidental or not. Unlikely that he did that and then decided to collapse.
The only dick here is him. Is he asleep now?

I would be suspicious that he slept through 4 dogs barking! Coukdnt you have gone to a friend of family member for the night though. I would gladly get up and let in a mate who was locked out.

Odd wording of his text to you,

'I left the key in the door, where are you?'

Surely it should've read, WTF where are you? I'm so sorry I've realised I left the key in the door!

Or maybe a bloody phone call!

Did you text him when he didn’t pick up/ answer the door?
Was he aware that you were sleeping in your car?

Same here NotUmbongo. My ex was a dick who loved to play these mind games. He loved it that he could control whether or not I could get into my own home.

Having said that, I was induced when having DD. It took ages, so DP went home about 11pm. Of course, that's when the contractions started to come thick and fast. DP slept through countless phone calls (landline and mobile, both next to the bed) to get him to come back to the hospital. Fortunately he eventually heard the ringing and raced to the hospital in time.

Weird.

Are you certain he was in?

This is appalling behaviour, leaving his 6 months pregnant fiance out late at night with no means of getting in or finding alternative accommodation. He should be grovellingly ashamed. Since his isn't in your position I would tell absolutely everyone what he did: his family, his friends, your family etc in suitably melodramatic fashion about how awful it was for you, in the (possibly vain) hope that it registers in his consciousness that no normal about-to-be parent behaves like this. I'm incensed on your behalf.

We always leave the key in the back door, it's never removed.

Not sure if this has been mentioned, but if your back door has glass panes in it please stop doing this. Easiest way for a burglar to get in is to break/cut the glass, reach in and unlock the door. It would also potentially invalidate your insurance.

@speakout
The first part of my reply was about the people saying that he might have been cheating, or not even in the house etc.
I agree with you, that's why I go on to say that the way he has downplayed what happened, is wrong and I would be doing the same thing to him livid.

I would be tempted to go and stay at a friend or relatives house for few days to "catch up on some sleep".

Ask him what happened?!

What are you going to do when all the drama of a baby happens? Start talking now!

He sounds charming... I have to applaud you on your tenacity though OP "then I tried to remove the letterbox...." !

Wow! He owes you a big apology and an explanation.