What a weird night/day...

[ColdStarFish]

Bit of an odd story and I'm not sure what I want/expect replies wise but here goes...

Back story, currently 24 weeks pregnant with DD1. Working full time and generally knackered 24/7.
So, last night I worked a late shift at work. Finished at 11pm and drove home as per usual.
DFiance was at home and normally goes up to bed before I'm back.
I get home at 11:30pm and the house is in darkness so assume he's upstairs. Go to open the door and it's locked. The dogs at this point are barking the house down - intruder alert, (we have four big dogs). Try my key in the lock and it won't go in because his keys are in the other side of the door.
Tried to call his mobile - not answering (probably on silent).
Tried to call the house phone - doesn't hear that either.
Try the back door, same scenario.
Chucked stones at the bedroom window - nothing.
So I go back around to the front of the house.
I then tried to reach the keys through the letter box, my hand was too big to get anywhere near the lock or dangling keys. Tried to hook them with a long stick but the stick was the wrong shape and no use.
Then I tried to remove the letter box. Luckily had access to a screwdriver but couldn't remove both sides and so this was useless too.
Tried the windows, all closed and feasibly I wouldn't have been able to scramble up or get through any of them
Tried to push the key out but couldn't do that either.
By midnight I decided to give up. With no money on me I had no choice other than to sleep in my car.
I had an old rug in the boot (used for the dogs) so I curled up under that, had raging heartburn all night, horrific cramping from being contorted into weird shapes and slept for about 3 broken hours in total.

DF sent me a message saying sorry, asking where I was at 7ish this morning and that he had unlocked the door. I was in McDonalds at this point as I was desperate for a wee & treated myself to a cup of tea.

I got home and went straight to bed and I've been here pretty much ever since.

DF has been lying on the sofa all day and not once has he apologised verbally to me. He's just slothed there watching TV (supposed to be working). I asked if he was feeling ok and he says he has stomach ache.

AIBU to want to shout at him?
I'm sure it was a mistake and he didn't mean to lock his pregnant fiancée out in the cold all night but the lack of verbal apology and the fact that he's done sod all all day makes me a bit annoyed really.
If it were the other way around I'd at least have made an effort to show I gave a shit about my mistake.

It wasn't the best @RaininSummer

Very cramped as I like to sleep on my side curled up in foetal position.
The heartburn was horrific.

At around half five I got in the front seat and put the heated seat on. Think that was the highlight of the night

Couldn’t you have stayed with the friend you stayed with last time?

How have you got to adulthood and never come across doors that can be locked with a key on the inside?

I've seen this before on a thread, where several posters couldn't believe that a door exists, that has a keyhole on the inside.
The OP in that case actually had to post a picture to prove it.

I needed a pee every half hour when I was pregnant .

Can I just add In here that aside from this we are normally a happy couple.

We rarely have a cross word to say to each other and we are very much in love.

He's not abusive, doesn't put me down or make me feel down trodden.

He doesn't do drugs and isn't a heavy drinker.

For the majority of the time we are both attentive to each other's needs, although he can be a bit selfish at times.

I'm probably coming across as down or whatever because I'm so fucking tired and just can't be arsed getting worked up about anything.

I'm generally a pretty laid back person as is he.

I have quite a stressful job, which is where I prefer to leave any stress and drama. I like my life at home to be relaxed and happy.

Fire Services told us safest place for keys is in the back of the door

Perhaps advice has changed then because we were told (by the police after a burglary) not to leave keys in the back door.

We can open our front door from the inside without a key (unless it's double locked). The back door does, however, need a key to unlock it. We were told to keep it near and accessible from the inside, but not near enough for a burglar to reach it.

I perhaps could have stayed with her, however she lives a half an hour drive away and I didn't want to feel like a nuisance at gone midnight.

I know she probably wouldn't have cared and would have happily taken me in, I just didn't want to be a bother.

Maybe it's not displaying correctly but I read pages before you mentioned it was the second time and it looks like other posters mentioned it too, after you said it.

I do understand the keys in the door, we do it but I don't think you can risk it with such a heavy sleeper, not till you're both home.

I'm going to look into a new lock system. One that doesn't need a key on the inside. I think (correct me if I'm wrong) that they are more common in the US.

So he didn't notice that you were not in the bed ALL NIGHT?!
I find that totally implausible.

@TheVanguardSix

He fell asleep in the spare room/office, woke at 5am, saw my text and assumed I had gone to a friends.

I would be absolutely furious, more so at the lack of grovelling apology than the locking out (which is bad enough!). I know DH would be horrified and terribly guilty as would I if I did that! I can't get over his lack of guilt surely that isn't normal?!

I don't think it's normal @NamechangerT1000

Sorry if I'm being thick
You say money is tight so why pay for a new lock? Just lock the door from the inside and then take the key out?

Well yes, @WomaninGreen but if he is in the house and I am not and he makes the same mistake again then we are in the same situation, aren't we?

Which obviously cannot be risked should I go out somewhere after DD arrives, he falls asleep, doesn't hear DD, you get the idea. Or maybe I can never leave them alone together ever? I didn't think that comment through...

Surely for the safety of everyone it would be better to have a lock that doesn't require a traditional key-in-lock set up to lock from the inside?

Did he text you back? I must have missed parts of the thread. I am understanding that you didn't get into your house until 7am. So did you guys speak at 5am? And even so, why didn't he text you at 2am to see where you were/if you were ok?
You're sort of normalising this, OP. It's not normal.
DH and I are like this. We never check in with each other. And although it's 'normal' it's also uncaring. I have followed DH's lead on this behaviour in our relationship. If I were to go out all night and not come home, he wouldn't ring me. And if I were to ring him, he wouldn't answer. He too would assume I was safe. But to be honest, I am always aware of the reality: he doesn't really care enough.

Worrying about the person you love is a good thing. And I miss that in my own marriage. Your DH should have, at some point, rang you to see where you were. He should have been more concerned for your welfare.

You're so honed in on changing a lock. You don't need to change a lock. Your DH needs to haul his ass out of bed and let you in. It costs nothing! You're accommodating his laziness. Sorry.

No, I get you don't, I'm just stunned at the lack of...caring? Seems sociopathic! It would genuinely really concern me, however lovely he has been up until now. Do you honestly think it was an accident?

I sent him a text when I got home and couldn't get in. He slept through until 5am and then read the message, made the assumption I had gone to my friend's house so didn't bother to text to check I was ok (I don't know why he didn't bother - told him it felt extremely uncaring and hurtful).

He then messaged at 7am when he woke up and presumably got up to see where I was.

If I can't stop him sleeping heavily (answers on a post card on ways to do this) then what else can I do aside from ensure that the house is accessible should it ever happen again?

His attitude is weird, I know that. He has apologised albeit a shit apology. Traditionally if he does something wrong it will take him a couple of days to stop defending himself, admit he was wrong and usually he will buy flowers or something similar.

If I had woken at 5am and my partner hadn't come home I would be bloody frantic! Let alone my pregnant partner who could have had a medical issue...who the fuck would manage to go BACK TO SLEEP for another two hours without checking?! I would be highly suspicious about this.

Well so would I @NamechangerT1000

No one genuinely sleeps through 4 large dogs who think there is an intruder. My 1 large dog can wake half the neighbourhood when DH leaves his keys in the door (which sadly he does a lot). It's also not normal for him not to say sorry.

So would anyone normal...
Are you SURE he is genuine OP about sleeping though all that? It is such weird behaviour.

Agree with the dogs comment; my two could rouse houses a street over, its deafening. Hope you are ok OP.