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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What a weird night/day...

209 replies

ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 21:29

Bit of an odd story and I'm not sure what I want/expect replies wise but here goes...

Back story, currently 24 weeks pregnant with DD1. Working full time and generally knackered 24/7.
So, last night I worked a late shift at work. Finished at 11pm and drove home as per usual.
DFiance was at home and normally goes up to bed before I'm back.
I get home at 11:30pm and the house is in darkness so assume he's upstairs. Go to open the door and it's locked. The dogs at this point are barking the house down - intruder alert, (we have four big dogs). Try my key in the lock and it won't go in because his keys are in the other side of the door.
Tried to call his mobile - not answering (probably on silent).
Tried to call the house phone - doesn't hear that either.
Try the back door, same scenario.
Chucked stones at the bedroom window - nothing.
So I go back around to the front of the house.
I then tried to reach the keys through the letter box, my hand was too big to get anywhere near the lock or dangling keys. Tried to hook them with a long stick but the stick was the wrong shape and no use.
Then I tried to remove the letter box. Luckily had access to a screwdriver but couldn't remove both sides and so this was useless too.
Tried the windows, all closed and feasibly I wouldn't have been able to scramble up or get through any of them Hmm
Tried to push the key out but couldn't do that either.
By midnight I decided to give up. With no money on me I had no choice other than to sleep in my car.
I had an old rug in the boot (used for the dogs) so I curled up under that, had raging heartburn all night, horrific cramping from being contorted into weird shapes and slept for about 3 broken hours in total.

DF sent me a message saying sorry, asking where I was at 7ish this morning and that he had unlocked the door. I was in McDonalds at this point as I was desperate for a wee & treated myself to a cup of tea.

I got home and went straight to bed and I've been here pretty much ever since.

DF has been lying on the sofa all day and not once has he apologised verbally to me. He's just slothed there watching TV (supposed to be working). I asked if he was feeling ok and he says he has stomach ache.

AIBU to want to shout at him?
I'm sure it was a mistake and he didn't mean to lock his pregnant fiancée out in the cold all night but the lack of verbal apology and the fact that he's done sod all all day makes me a bit annoyed really.
If it were the other way around I'd at least have made an effort to show I gave a shit about my mistake.

Hmm
OP posts:
ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 22:47

So I've just spoken to him. Asked him what happened.

He said he fell asleep in the office (which is also a spare bedroom) as he had been watching something online.

He woke up at 5am and went into our room, saw I wasn't there, saw the text that I was locked out and assumed I would have gone to a friends (this is what I did last time it happened). Didn't expect me to be asleep in the car. Assumed I was ok.

He knew I was pissed off so wanted to give me some space.

Feels as though he had apologised and didn't think just repeating sorry would help.

Doesn't know what else he should do. Asked me if he should run me a bath Envy - No you fucking moron.

Apologised again.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 25/04/2018 22:47

What was the explanation he gave the last time it happened?

ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 22:48

Also said he hadn't had a drink of anything, he was really tired. He does work a lot of hours, normally more than 12 hour days (owns his own business).

OP posts:
jedenfalls · 25/04/2018 22:48

Not sure if this has been mentioned, but if your back door has glass panes in it please stop doing this. Easiest way for a burglar to get in is to break/cut the glass, reach in and unlock the door.

I’d still rather be burgled than die in a fire

ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 22:50

Last time it happened it was the same explanation pretty much, just fell asleep and didn't hear his phone.
He was really worried and panicked that time.

Can't remember what the apology was like though. Think it was flowers the day after.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 25/04/2018 22:51

Perhaps a call to a locksmith tomorrow to change the type of locks you have would be a good idea. Wouldn't want it to happen a 3rd time.

ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 22:52

Either that or just take his keys off him.

OP posts:
SimonBridges · 25/04/2018 22:54

This has happened before?

Also, take your credit cards with you in the future. What if your car had broken down or some such.

speakout · 25/04/2018 22:55

Re the keys- we had a recent Fire inspection and new smoke alarms.

Fire Services told us safest place for keys is in the back of the door.
We keep them there all the time we are at home.

Youthgonewild · 25/04/2018 22:55

He woke up at 5am and went into our room, saw I wasn't there, saw the text that I was locked out and assumed I would have gone to a friends (this is what I did last time it happened). Didn't expect me to be asleep in the car. Assumed I was ok.

Wtf??? He didn't think to call to find out where you were at this point? Anything could have happened to you. Yeah you could have been asleep at a mates house and you may have been grumpy at him waking you at 5am but at least it would have shown he cares about you and your safety not to mention that of your unborn child. I can't believe he left it til 7am to make first contact!

ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 22:57

That was my reaction too but he didn't see it like that.

OP posts:
steff13 · 25/04/2018 22:58

Do you live in an underground cave? Or on another planet?

No, I live in Ohio. The locks here have a little lever that locks them on the inside, and can only be locked with a key from the outside. Which, I must say, is a better system based on this OP.

ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 22:59

Our keys are always in the back of the doors.

Why do you think we have four dogs Wink

OP posts:
Youthgonewild · 25/04/2018 23:00

OP show him this thread to really hit home how messed up this situation is.

Ginger1982 · 25/04/2018 23:00

I can't believe he didn't phone you repeatedly at 5am when he saw his pregnant fiancé was missing!! I would like to think DH would be beside himself!

In relation to a PP, I think it would be very concerning if I slept through my kid screaming for me!

Justmuddlingalong · 25/04/2018 23:00

You sound very resigned to your lot OP. Your posts are quite hard reading. 💐

DelphiniumBlue · 25/04/2018 23:01

He deliberately put the keys in the door knowing that would prevent you from getting in??

WomaninGreen · 25/04/2018 23:02

I knew there'd be a drip feed! Second time?

I do realise that some people will sleep through anything but seriously, change the lock set up.

Also are you just assuming he can never be asleep in the house when the baby is with him and you're not?

And his non apology is shite. Also not calling you right away.

ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 23:03

@DelphiniumBlue I don't think so - we leave them in the door every night. I think it was more a case of he forgot to remove them.

OP posts:
steff13 · 25/04/2018 23:04

This happening a second time is definitely worth a call to the locksmith, I think. You can get locks fitted that don't require a key on the inside, can't you?

ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 23:05

@WomaninGreen

Hardly a drip feed - I did mention it right near the beginning of the post...

Fuck knows what will happen when DD is here, hopefully a screaming baby in his ear will be enough, only time will tell I guess Hmm

OP posts:
Littlechocola · 25/04/2018 23:05

This has happened to us a few times (both work opposite shifts). Annoying at the time but never assumed it to be anything more than forgetting to take the keys out of the door.

ColdStarFish · 25/04/2018 23:06

I think you can @steff13

Might look into it. Money is pretty tight at the moment but I definitely don't want to sleep in my car again.

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 25/04/2018 23:07

That is just the idiotic sort of thing my oh would do and I would never be able to wake him either. It must have been so uncomfortable.

BlondeB83 · 25/04/2018 23:08

He was drunk or high.

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