What a weird night/day...

[ColdStarFish]

Bit of an odd story and I'm not sure what I want/expect replies wise but here goes...

Back story, currently 24 weeks pregnant with DD1. Working full time and generally knackered 24/7.
So, last night I worked a late shift at work. Finished at 11pm and drove home as per usual.
DFiance was at home and normally goes up to bed before I'm back.
I get home at 11:30pm and the house is in darkness so assume he's upstairs. Go to open the door and it's locked. The dogs at this point are barking the house down - intruder alert, (we have four big dogs). Try my key in the lock and it won't go in because his keys are in the other side of the door.
Tried to call his mobile - not answering (probably on silent).
Tried to call the house phone - doesn't hear that either.
Try the back door, same scenario.
Chucked stones at the bedroom window - nothing.
So I go back around to the front of the house.
I then tried to reach the keys through the letter box, my hand was too big to get anywhere near the lock or dangling keys. Tried to hook them with a long stick but the stick was the wrong shape and no use.
Then I tried to remove the letter box. Luckily had access to a screwdriver but couldn't remove both sides and so this was useless too.
Tried the windows, all closed and feasibly I wouldn't have been able to scramble up or get through any of them
Tried to push the key out but couldn't do that either.
By midnight I decided to give up. With no money on me I had no choice other than to sleep in my car.
I had an old rug in the boot (used for the dogs) so I curled up under that, had raging heartburn all night, horrific cramping from being contorted into weird shapes and slept for about 3 broken hours in total.

DF sent me a message saying sorry, asking where I was at 7ish this morning and that he had unlocked the door. I was in McDonalds at this point as I was desperate for a wee & treated myself to a cup of tea.

I got home and went straight to bed and I've been here pretty much ever since.

DF has been lying on the sofa all day and not once has he apologised verbally to me. He's just slothed there watching TV (supposed to be working). I asked if he was feeling ok and he says he has stomach ache.

AIBU to want to shout at him?
I'm sure it was a mistake and he didn't mean to lock his pregnant fiancée out in the cold all night but the lack of verbal apology and the fact that he's done sod all all day makes me a bit annoyed really.
If it were the other way around I'd at least have made an effort to show I gave a shit about my mistake.

This is just insane. If he slept through that he needs some kind of sleep study. I would have packed his bags for him by now with the lack of apology or concern. How dare he lie there in the bed like a fucking Prince??? He should have tucked you up and be waiting on you all day if he’s skiving work.

I smell bullshit...my little dog wakes me up with a wanky bark, also why did he not panic in the morning when he saw you weren't there? He txt to say sorry...not where are you? Etc something doesn't add up..

You are pregnant, tired , working a late shift.

A decent man would be waiting up, listening for the car/door and ready to make you a cuppa when you got in.

That's what decent men do.

@LolaTheDarkdestroyer his text say:

Hey, sorry, thought I had taken the key out the door! Where are you?

That's really shitty. Anybody putting their fairly heavily pregnant partner in a position where she has to sleep in a car overnight ought to be horrified with the situation, hugely apologetic, and doing all they could to minimise risks to the health of you or your baby.

The fact that he is utterly unconcerned about how this could have affected you really doesn't bode well.

In future I would not ever go out without money and a credit card.

Jesus speakout
Way to worry a pregnant lady...

Wanky bark 😂

At a guess, I'd say he did it on purpose.

No one would sleep through 4 dogs barking.

I hindsight I should have got a hotel room. Unfortunately my credit cards were in the house, I don't take them anywhere as I only use them for emergencies (oh the irony).

Didn't have enough on my debit card, eagerly awaiting pay day.

He sounds like an evil dick to me.

On the bright side sounds like he will be a great help with night time baby feeds.

What a wanker.

Serious words are needed OP.

Hope your ok, hot bubble bath and lots of choc tonight. Look after yourself xx

Dh can sleep through anything. I remember dd2 in full cry during the night one time. She was a right yeller. I put her mouth right next to his ear, and he moved slightly. Next door heard her, and we were the opposite side of the house.

The advantage is if he starts snoring I can kick him quite hard and he just turns over and doesn't actually wake and complain about it.

I'm sorry this happened to you - whatever the reasons behind it. I honestly would have called the police though - were you not concerned that something might have happened to him?

My husband did this to me the first time I went out and left our newborn. Rang the house phone/ mobile / doorbell/ threw stones etc. My husband is prone to weird things like this he'd forget his head if it wasn't screwed on, assume yours may be the same.

I think some of these responses are OTT.
Some people are heavy sleepers - that doesn't mean they are the devils work.

But the way your OH has not really batted an eyelid about it, would really piss me off.
If I were you, I would have got straight into bed when he finally let you in, told him that I wasn't moving all day, because I was tired and cold because some fecking idiot decided to lock me out of the house all night.
Then let him take it from there.
That time has passed now though.
Just say to him "You don't seem particularly bothered about me sleeping in a car last night. You're acting like you don't give a toss."

I can't believe his text was so flippant! If I were him I'd be panicking

I'd previously be in the suspicious camp, but I know now what an ex flatmate of mine could sleep through. So, especially as you've said the dogs stopped barking once they knew it was you, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt that it was an innocent mistake.

However, he needs to pull his finger out and make it up to you. Big time. Starting with a proper apology.

I think because it has happened once before, albeit a while ago, I just assumed the same thing had happened again.

He didn't wake up that time either.

Maybe I should have done, all I was thinking about was going to sleep.

I blame baby brain and being exhausted. Perhaps I'm a dock for not being concerned about his welfare

*a dick

I've never seen a lock that took a key on the inside. After reading this, it seems kind of inconvenient.

That's really strange, I'd be suspicious, OP. are you?

I think maybe you are and are just wondering if anyone else is too. I get there are some people who could sleep through a nuclear bomb, but his reaction & behaviour today are really very strange.

At best he's lacking in empathy and is extremely selfish and uncaring.

The worst case scenario doesn't bare thinking about. Either way, it's really shitty.

Your reaction is baffling too. Is he abusive? Are you frightened to confront him because of how he might react?

Was he stoned? Sounds v odd not to hear, even odder that collapsed on couch and non verbal?

@ArsenalsPlayingAtHome

He's not abusive but he can be selfish at times, as he is proving so well today.

Why would there be shouting if you discussed it? Was it discussed the last time it happened?