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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 29/05/2018 06:26

LaContessa's response is being sent. I needed to sleep on it. But waking up this morning and reading the other thread has me a tad spooked I admit. You are right and I need to be firm.

OP posts:
emmyrose2000 · 29/05/2018 06:40

I missed that the party was for her anniversary and that she has invited her DC's friends' families'. That is definitely weird.

The suspicious part of me wonders if she's only having this party in order to invite you, to (1) make herself look good for inviting you; (2) to engineer some sort of confrontation if you attended; or (3), to make you look like the bad guy for not attending. Joke's on her - you won't look bad for not attending; you'll look very sensible! Hopefully no one else will attend either.

flumpybear · 29/05/2018 06:42

Wow I can't believe I've not seen these threads before now!
She sounds both deranged and that she's not got enough going on in her life so is being a total nut job!

ArchchancellorsHat · 29/05/2018 06:44

Good plan, OP. If she does contact you you will have to follow through and go to the police, even if it's a nice message on the face of it - like this party. Given the history, they will see through that.

Hopefully the other thread isn't about this - does it look like her writing style? (It does look unhinged).

LaContessaDiPlump · 29/05/2018 06:47

Well done OP. I agree that she's probably trying to take back control of the situation by arranging a social event that you prob won't attend, thus making you look bad. The thing is, she's acted crazy enough in front of the rest of them that they will understand your reluctance! Stand firm and try not to think about it.

Motoko · 29/05/2018 07:14

I wouldn't add the bit about the police. I can see that inflaming the situation, and her telling her friends that you've threatened to call the police when she was doing something nice by inviting you to the party.

Just use the first part of the message.

Motoko · 29/05/2018 07:19

She might not even be having a party. If OP did go, she could find that she's the only one invited. "Oh, a few people couldn't make it, so we cancelled the party, but I didn't want the children to miss out on a playdate." And then she's got OP on her own, trapped in SZ's house.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 29/05/2018 07:23

Wow, that other thread. The OP on that is very single minded, highly obsessive and very possessive over what she sees as hers and what she thinks she's entitled too. If that's not softzilla then its definitely a good exercise in seeing how she may be thinking.

ChevalierTialys · 29/05/2018 07:30

Have you sent the text @Unreasonableunreasonableness? Be prepared for a load of abuse in response.

Cuttingthegrass · 29/05/2018 07:34

I definitely wouldn't go. She sounds horrible. Hope your DC aren't going to the same school when they're older

IDearlyLoveALaugh · 29/05/2018 07:57

Good for you for deciding to send the text!!!! Checking this thread and the other one was the first thing I did this AM

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 29/05/2018 08:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HettySunshine · 29/05/2018 08:21

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LaContessaDiPlump · 29/05/2018 08:22

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mirrorwriting · 29/05/2018 08:22

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gambaspilpilmyfav · 29/05/2018 08:32

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Unreasonableunreasonableness · 29/05/2018 08:34

Oh fgs

OP posts:
Storminateapot · 29/05/2018 08:36

Ok that is weird if nobody else has been invited. Are you sure?

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 29/05/2018 08:40

No one I feel comfortable asking who's kids are as friendly as my dc with hers. It's half term so no seeing them at the gates. X

OP posts:
JustLikeBefore · 29/05/2018 08:44

OP do you know, that once you 'own' a name you don't have to keep going back to your account to change it?

so if your main name is unreasonable but you have name for another thread. You can just change from your default name for each post you make on another thread.

before you write the post, look at the bar above that shows the name displayed, click on it and write your other name in the bar.

you may already know, but thought I'd mention it in case you didn't.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 29/05/2018 08:54

No invite for party mum and friend? Hmm. Very fishy. Sounds like she's trying to isolate you. Given her other behaviour that's not surprising.

YouTheCat · 29/05/2018 08:56

I don't think there is any party.

SoaringSwallow · 29/05/2018 08:58

She's unhinged.

LexieLulu · 29/05/2018 09:02

I honestly think I would be speaking to the police even now. It's starting to get a bit scary

Thebluedog · 29/05/2018 09:08

Once again OP you’ve shown dignity... you’ve done the right thing by not engaging. Your dc won’t suffer for missing out one bbq (even if it is made up). She really is unhinged and you’re best off out of it. If she pushed it I’d be going straight to the police as enough is enough and maybe a short sharp shock will have her coming to her senses Hmm