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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 28/05/2018 22:26

Tho I do budget in the same way she is describing. All my spending money out at the beginning of the month so I can see exactly what I have.....
Only one DC tho. And I always repay what others have bought, either by PayPal or in kind. And regularly buy things for others that I don't expect to get back.
Eek

OP posts:
IDearlyLoveALaugh · 28/05/2018 22:27

And pretend to be American but then also acquiesce to knowing benefits come out on a Thursday and also that friend bought the "cf" friend tea. A very British Beverage.

ShadyLady53 · 28/05/2018 22:28

It could all be a game though... She did try to accuse you of not paying your way...this is how it all started isn’t it?

IDearlyLoveALaugh · 28/05/2018 22:29

Last post was in response to @ShadyLady53 earlier one, not directed at @Unreasonableunreasonableness

Omg I bet it's her. Stalkzilla!

LaContessaDiPlump · 28/05/2018 22:31

Shock I thought the other thread seemed a bit reminiscent!!

OP I think you do need to answer her as she seems the type to escalate quickly if she gets no answer at all. A simple 'No, we will not be attending. Please do not contact me again; if you do then I will have to contact the police'.

ShadyLady53 · 28/05/2018 22:32

IDearly

I thought the Mom was because she was from the Midlands?! Just a wild guess though...way too invested in this!

IDearlyLoveALaugh · 28/05/2018 22:33

Ooh maybe @ShadyLady53 I didn't know that was a thing!

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 28/05/2018 22:38

If that is softzilla she's not getting much support Grin

Eveforever · 28/05/2018 22:40

I agree it is time to ask her to not contact you again. Have you texted her to say this yet? I've had semi threatening texts from a 'friend' before, it's not fun.

Maelstrop · 28/05/2018 22:44

Message is too polite. Say 'No, we will not be attending and I want no further contact with you'.

This. You must not say the dc can play at nursery etc, it gives her hope you still want to be friends. You do seem to be over dramatising this now. You need to not give her any wiggle room. No, all the way and be super clear that you want no further association with her. Ever.

YouTheCat · 28/05/2018 22:55

The OP on the other thread doesn't sound very nice at all.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 28/05/2018 23:14

A woman I met at a group activity was on mumsnet. I recognised her style of writing and the words she used.

The situation she described was a very warped version of what actually happened. She described me and a few others as wet as we wouldn't take her side or get involved. She changed certain details to make it less recognisable but the timings, the basic situation and phrases used were spot on.

She attributed certain events that others experienced as happening to her to back up her point of view and her actions. (so she did this to others me and in response I.....)

There was some truth in virtually everything she said but it was all exaggerated and missing out relevant details.

I'm not sure why she posted her thread. I think she wanted everyone to take her side as she felt unsupported by the group. Surely she knew what she posted was very biased and partly untruthful.

Storminateapot · 28/05/2018 23:14

I thought it sounded very reminiscent of this situation with a few detail changes. I agree, I thought she sounded mean and petty so didn't respond.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 29/05/2018 00:01

OMG. I've been wanting an update on Softzilla all weekend, but the thread's been missing. I assumed the reason for Softzilla's growling on Friday was because she'd found out about these threads.

I can't think why it isn't coming up on my watched/I'm on threads.

Unreasonable hope you're ok.

crispysausagerolls · 29/05/2018 00:03

The Op on the other post has ignored people asking her 10 x if she is softzilla

springsummer12 · 29/05/2018 00:06

I think she knows about this thread and that’s why she’s so determined to talk to you. Other mums at the group know about it don’t they? It wouldn’t surprise me if one of those mums told her. Or she may be a mumsnetter and have stumbled across it.

Storminateapot · 29/05/2018 00:45

If she's SZ she seems really upset that she thinks you 'owe' her kid a gift?

KeepServingTheDrinks · 29/05/2018 00:57

I'm more of a mind that it's kids who are on half term, actually. I seem to remember the OP saying Softzilla wouldn't go on MN because she has a low opinion of it.

If it is Softzilla, she can't write for toffee. She can not construct a sentence. Her (very long) OP is almost unreadable.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 29/05/2018 01:01

I think if it was SoftZilla then OP would have recognised the appalling punctuation and commented on it being her.

Mind you - the other thread OP may give insight into what's going on in SZ head as they both sound obsessive.

xsquared · 29/05/2018 01:02

Doesn't sound good that OP fro m the other thread is ignoring the questions asking her whether she is Softzilla.

(Un)reasonable You absolutely need to document everything and have support to ensure that things don't get stalkerish. She seems determined to make your life hell.

emmyrose2000 · 29/05/2018 03:21

"I will not be accepting any invitations from you. Please do not contact me again."

This. Simple and to the point. If she does keep escalating, it's the proof you can show the police to say that you've told her not to contact you again.

Don't mention the children at all. She's being highly manipulative to bring the the kids into it.

feesh · 29/05/2018 04:00

Indeed. Why would you make a point of inviting preschool mums to a wedding anniversary celebration anyway? She’s doing it because she’s shit-stirring again.

TheMaddHugger · 29/05/2018 04:08

Why the heck is she inviting her children's friends [ in playgroup/kindy] to her Anniversary .

Very Odd. I have never ever seen nor heard of this kind of thing before

Poppyhopscotch · 29/05/2018 04:52

I wouldn't go and I would ask her not to contact you again. She honestly sounds like a playground bully! Very odd behaviour from an adult.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 29/05/2018 05:29

I'm glad I found this again. The group leader either has to ban Softzilla, or you'll have to find another group.

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