To spend 9k on dental crowns - DP annoyed!

[theforeignwoman]

To put it briefly, I am only 27 years old and have grim, yellow teeth that are only getting worse no matter what I do. They're perfectly straight and quite nice if you disregard the colour of them, but I have had to have a number of fillings throughout the past two years and no matter how good care I take of them, I still end up with chipped back teeth and cavaties. I have spent a fortune on teeth whitening just to at least brighten them up a bit but it's no good.

DP partner complains that I never smile. I even cover my mouth when I speak to strangers. I can't get myself to make friends or meet new people as I am constantly thinking about my teeth. I've basically put my whole social circle on hold until I can get this sorted.

I've had enough. I have decided I am going to get dental crowns once I have had our child (currently pregnant) and finally feel good about myself. This is going to set me back £9000. Money I have saved up on my own. DP and I don't share finances. I am financially better off than he is.

He says I am being ridiculously selfish for spending that much and that I should just get over it. He also says that white fake crowns will look bad, and he is not sure he will be as attracted to me. He wants to get married in the future and I have told him that there is no way that is going to happen until I get this fixed and I can smile on my wedding day.

AIBU for just going through with this despite what he thinks?!

Just do it OP. It's your money and you have a good job bringing in money. Once you have kids, they become priority and you won't want to fund your teeth then.
You can always earn more money. IME it is for spending and you sound like you're being sensible in other ways and preparing for maternity leave etc.

I had my breasts done and it's changed my whole life. No regrets whatsoever. If something bothers you that much I would definitely say do something. But shop around and find a cheaper dentist and get the best deal

I strongly advise against any procedure that involves drilling of healthy, sound tooth structure purely for appearance .

And I really disagree with shopping round for a cheaper dentist.

If you are considering getting this done (and I strongly suggest you don’t ) you need a dentist but just as importantly a dental ceramist who is very skilled in cosmetics procedures.

But don’t do it !

If you are dead set on having cosmetic dentistry make sure that you put aside enough money to replace the crowns/veneers every 10 to 15 years. They may not fail but natural gum recession leads to cosmetically unacceptable visible margins necessitating replacement regularly. Similarly anyone who sells you crowns/veneers/implants claiming that they will last you a lifetime is lying.
Avoid Wowcher deals or special offers there is nothing special about them. All dentists are able to do cosmetic dentistry usually the best ones have no need to advertise!
Really good dentists will not carry out work unnecessarily, particularly if a patient presents with psychological issues. Body dysmorphia is becoming a real problem in dentistry. I see an increasing number of young people who are unhappy with the colour of their teeth when in actual fact they have a very light shade, unfortunately photo enhancement has a lot to answer.

www.treatmentabroad.com/cosmetic-dentistry-abroad/guide/abroad-cosmetic-dentistry

Why not compromise and get it done at half the cost in Eastern Europe. My husband flew out,stayed in a hotel, has good treatment and was still quids in by a few hundred.

Sorry if it's already been said as I'm in a rush, but maybe look at instasmile. They are clip on veneers that are shaped to your individual teeth (you send a bite impression off) You can eat in them and are only a few hundred quid. Considering them myself!

I sorry Cook but those clip on veneers have the same effect on my staff as doggy dentures 😂🤣😂🤣😂

Holy frig do not get clip on veneers, they are hilariously bad looking and unless you brush your teeth after single thing you eat and drink you'll be putting your own teeth at risk of decay. Crowns may be a bit extreme, maybe veneers if suitable? Less destructive to the teeth you have as there is less drilling. Others mentioned implants, those are used in cases where you have missing or extracted teeth so by the sounds of it that's not you. As for being too white and fake, crowns and veneers are always shade matched to other teeth so they are as subtle as possible. In cases where you are getting a "smile makeover" type deal with all your visible teeth done, you and your dentist will agree a shade. No decent dentist will try and talk you into toilet bowl white teeth, because they are hideous. We called that shade "armitage shanks white" and you would be amazed at the amount of people who requested it even though it didn't match their own teeth. I know of one dentist forced by an adamant patient to give him a mouth of crowns in whiter than white and he would only agree on the condition the man told no one who had carried out the work!

hasnt your dentist recommedned something for your chipped tooth or are they just after the 9k on crowns u absoultyl must have

please go elsewhere u dont have to use just one dentist-some really arent concerned whats best for you

I have not rtft if you can afford if do it. My teeth are not great perfectly clean but wonky if I'd the money I would do it and hope I can one day. You are so young and should not have to waste your time been self conscious. Do it..

My friend had hers donein Turkey. She had straight teeth so no brace needed, She had dental crowns, her DH had and crowns and 2 implants for 9000euro Turkey including flights and accommodation.

Veneers not crowns. 😶

OP do you have any idea what having crowns on essentially healthy teeth entails? Or do you actually mean veneers? Some people on here may be getting crowns and veneers mixed up.

I broke two front teeth as a child and am on my 4th or 5th set of crowns now. The latest ones cost around £2k and were worth every penny (chose the specialist very carefully), but I really wouldn't have crowns unless teeth are broken.

so for it! confidence is so important. Have you considered dental treatment overseass? My dad and aunty go to Thailand and Indonesia for treatment and apparently the clinics are amazing for a fraction of the cost

I would recommend going abroad I had a face lift in Poland and it cost £2200 compared to £11,000 here in the UK. You just need to do some research

@Ladiva1971 do some research and rely on the NHS to pick up the tab when things go wrong.

There's no way on god's earth that I'd spend £9K on cosmetic dentistry. I sometimes think the western world has gone completely fucking mad.

I would, however, take a closer look at the information about dental pathologies that someone mentioned upthread.

Nothing went wrong and my work was guaranteed for a year I only had to have the stitches removed here.

@Ladiva1971 who removed your stitches?

a nurse at my gps surgery.

@theforeignwoman

I strongly advise against any procedure that involves drilling of healthy, sound tooth structure purely for appearance .

This. I would NOT do it. Having crowns involves having all your teeth ground down to stumps to enable them to fit the crowns on, and as someone said earlier, they need replacing after about 12 years, as the gums recede.

Can you not just get them whitened?

Or have veneers maybe.

theforeignwoman
I'm older than you and have had problems with poor teeth all my adult life. Mine used to chip and need filling, now they fall apart, mainly because I grind them in my sleep. After a tooth broke badly I had a Ceramic crown which I managed to shatter, then a gold crown for several years then that had to be removed and the root removed. I'm not suitable for implants because I get trigeminal neuralgia, from all that gritting and grinding, so I have a gap. If I'd had cosmetic crowns I'd have no teeth and an empty bank account.
Please get an explanation for your teeth problems before you get a lot of work done as you could be looking at a whole world of pain further down the road! And consider the least damaging treatment in case it has to be reversed. Veneers have to be better than crowns.

PS Your DP sounds like a bit of a tosser to be honest - you can have mummy-makeover (for him) but not new teeth (for you)!

"Mummy makeover", what a bullshit phrase. Sorry OP but as a PP has already said, your DP is a tosser.

DogMa1 - both my daughters have (incredibly expensive) teethguards, which they wear at night. Stops the grinding damaging the teeth, they were wearing their teeth away. IIRC the guards cost about £500, but worth it if you're damaging crowns.

Not quite that amount of money but I paid a lot of money to fix my teeth before my wedding, all paid for by me and I never "asked" my now dh what he thought. Fortunately he was supportive.
I think it's worth doing but don't crowns need to be replaced every few years? Remember to take this into account, and what happens when you're retired and can't afford it anymore? Or if the price of these things skyrockets?

So he would be quite happy for you to use your money to enhance the bits HE wouldn't mind improving. Bit of a double standard.