I realise there are many worse issues than this, but I really wanted to see how MNetters would feel about it.
So, I lost a bit of weight three years ago, and have kept it off. Not a massive amount, about three stone. It needed to be done - I was feeling middle aged and unfit, and I feel loads better for it. Family and close mates all really supportive and pleased that I was feeling and looking better.
So why does this keep happening? Yesterday I was pushing my trolley round the supermarket and met an old playground mum from way back. Chat, chat, as you do. And then “you’re looking very thin. WAS IT INTENTIONAL?” I didn’t have the bollocks to reply “no, I’ve got a terrible wasting disease”, but wish I had.
Another one - a former work colleague told me they’d all been discussing whether or not I had cancer!!! I’ve also had “you know you’ll get oesteoporosis now, don’t you?”
It’s not keeping me awake at night, but I just find it weird that people are OK to make comments like this to my face. Supposing I had put on a stack of weight, would I get “wow, you’ve REALLY chubbed up, love”?
Or do I just know a lot of really rude people?
AIBU?
To wonder if thin shaming is a thing?
Notanotherottenotter · 10/04/2018 07:19
I'm naturally slim, not abnormally so but I've had so many comments over the years. Normally by (overweight) women.
Picking up a slice of pizza at work
Colleague: "You could do with eating the whole thing, get some meat on your bones!"
Why is that necessary? I wouldn't dream of saying to her she should not eat any because she's already overweight 
Oh and don't get me started on social media posts saying 'real women have curves'! So ridiculous.
Yep^^
I’ve said this twice on another thread recently but I once was called a “skinny wee shite” AS A COMPLIMENT 
. Madness.
I lost five and half stone on the tonsil cancer diet, my bmi is 19.5.
I have no real swallow, I choke if I try and eat too much but I persevere. What I do eat goes down with a litre of water, try eating a normal portion after that much water.
If mention my weight, my DH will call me a skinny minny, I don't mind that.
Anyone else all bets are off.
I eat at least five Costa Millionaire shortbreads a week, sometimes two at a go, they go down with a lot of water. If I was watching my weight I would not be eating them.
Anytime anyone mentions it, I smile wistfully at them and say I would give it all up in a heart beat.
That usually shuts them up. 
Yes it is! I used to be really underweight and people would say how thin I was, it was due to medical issues-i used to tell them how big they were! I hated being really thin! I'm now a size 10-12and happy
@notanotherottenotter
I’m 8 and a half stone from 11 and a half, and my BMI is about 21. So not underweight, I hope.
I am going to go against the grain here.
Don't know your height, but if you are an average height for a woman, you are at the very low end of a healthy weight and BMI.
I have been up to 13 stone, and down to 8 and a half (I am 5 ft 5,) and frankly, I don't look great at 8 and a half stone... I look gaunt and pale, and definitely look better at around 10 stone. I don't care WHAT the 'weight charts' and BMI charts say, I look WAY better at 10 stone, than 8 and a half stone.
At 13 stone I do look fat though (and AM fat at that weight!)
But yeah I agree that ANY comments about anyone's body size and shape is out of order, but that's people for you. They will comment! If it is thinner people saying it, then it's not jealousy. Maybe they do think you look ill. The weight and BMI you describe, for an adult woman (near middle age,) who has had children, sounds too low.. And if you have dropped 3 stone, and were only just over 11 stone to begin with, I'm sorry, but you probably do look gaunt.
I know some women who are middle aged who have ALWAYS been slim - 9 stone-ish, and they look great, but they have never had any great weight loss, as they've always been slim. When someone loses 3 stone or more in middle age, they often look a bit gaunt. Especially if it has come off quickly.
My DH was 16 stone for a few years, (he is 5 ft 10,) and around 5 years ago, he went on a silly crash diet, and dropped to 11 stone, in 4 months ... FIVE STONE weight loss in four months!! He looked AWFUL. He looked better at 16 stone! He looked pale and gaunt and ill, and his clothes hung off him, even though he bought smaller sizes. He also looked 10 years older. A friend of ours asked if he was dying. 
He regained some over about a year (went up to 13 and a half stone,) and looked WAY better. He has stayed around that weight since...
I have also seen several other people I know (female friends) who dropped 4-5 stone at 40-45, (they dropped to about 8 to 9 stone,) and it aged them terribly. As I said, if you have always been that size and weight that is one thing, but to have always been a bit chubby, and then to suddenly become thin is rather ageing for many....
But I agree that thin-shaming is a thing, and it's unacceptable. I think fat people get bullied way MORE than thin people, but thin people do get rude comments yeah... I also get sick of the 'men don't wanna sleep with a bag of bones' and 'men prefer curvy women' type comments that I see on the internet, as it is bloody rude. And the 'real women have curves' thing REALLY fucks me off. 
Some women call themselves 'curvy' when they are just obese! Curvy is Shakira or J-Lo; not someone who is a size 26, and weighs 20 stone. I am not fat-shaming, but I get sick of obesity being celebrated......
This reply has been deleted
Withdrawn at poster's request.
A few weeks ago I was out with baby DD and someone asked “Have you actually spent any time with that baby? Or have you just been in the gym?”
wanker!
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