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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Going to a wedding whilst off sick with morning sickness...

224 replies

Roquella · 04/04/2018 12:41

Originally posted on the pregnancy board but know that AIBU tends to get some pretty honest answers so posting here also.

Due to go to a very close friend's wedding tomorrow. I'm currently off work with sickness and nausea. The sickness is a lot better since I was put on medication a few days ago however the nausea is still quite awful.

I know I'll have to sit out the ceremony if I wake up and am having a bad day, which is fine. I also know that at the reception if I have to run off and be sick I can do.

My issue is, I'm off work currently until at least the end of this week. Is it acceptable for me to attend a wedding reception and not be at work? I have two nights booked in a hotel which I cannot refund, have bought my dress and shoes, and feel like 3 hours at a wedding reception to show my face is a lot easier than an 8 hour day at work with a 3 hour round commute. My hotel room will be upstairs and I can nip up to sleep whenever I fancy.

Thoughts? Last thing I want is to be in trouble with the boss and am genuinely considering pulling out, however would much rather see my friend get married of course.

Honest opinions please Smile

OP posts:
EenaMinaMoe · 04/04/2018 14:37

I'm feeling a bit unwell myself at the thought of vivienne's workplace where apparently it's normal to have one colleague puking in a bucket by their desk and another stretched out unconscious for a two hour recovery nap, because that's totally well enough for work!

RainbowsAndPixieDust · 04/04/2018 15:02

Are you well enough to? I went to an immediate family member's wedding with HG as I just couldn't miss a siblings wedding. Ended up leaving the ceremony early and sitting in a hotel room for the whole reception except half an hour. I was on 3 different anti sickness tablets & just felt nauseous, tired and totally spaced out. I definitely wouldn't have done it had it not been such close family. It was pretty miserable!

BeautyQueenFromMars · 04/04/2018 17:34

OP, didn't you realise that sitting at a table chatting quietly for a few hours, with fresh air breaks and a bit of a lie down if needed is EXACTLY the same as 3hrs commuting and 8 full hours of intense concentration at work? Wink
I hope you feel well enough to enjoy the wedding at least a little bit.

KalaLaka · 04/04/2018 17:40

Fabulous conclusion, so pleased to hear that some managers are sympathetic! Enjoy the wedding, I hope sickness stays away. Try lucozade and plain crisps!

MoreMoneyMoreProblems · 04/04/2018 18:02

If you weren't on sick leave, you'd be on annual leave to attend the wedding. Either way, you'd be off work!

GO!!!!

MoreMoneyMoreProblems · 04/04/2018 18:04

Just finished the thread. Glad your manager agreed! Have a great time

McButtonwillow · 04/04/2018 18:08

Great news op- hope you enjoy the wedding as best you can.

Wigeon · 04/04/2018 18:25

If one of my team asked me about this, and generally had an unblemished record, I’d tell them to go to the wedding. I don’t think you’re taking the piss at all.

Viviennemary · 04/04/2018 18:51

I'm feeling a bit unwell myself at the thought of vivienne's workplace where apparently it's normal to have one colleague puking in a bucket by their desk and another stretched out unconscious for a two hour recovery nap, because that's totally well enough for work!

If they were that ill I wouldn't want them at my wedding either. Puking all over the place into sick bags. Would add a certain charm to the videos I suppose. Hmm

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 04/04/2018 18:53

You can be off sick and still attend social events. If a bus driver had HG you wouldn't want them driving the bus or a nurse with HG in an operating theatre but that doesn't mean they are incapable of leaving the house - just incapable of safely doing their job due to illness.

Original poster
Roquella · 04/04/2018 20:50

@Viviennemary oh give it a rest I'm not going to puke on the cake. I know if I'm going to be sick and am well aware of where the toilets are. Bride knows I'm not feeling well and she's still happy I'm here. You're just arguing for the sake of arguing now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Roquella · 04/04/2018 20:50

Thanks everyone for responses 🙂

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 04/04/2018 21:37

I was responding to another poster if you would read my post properly.

Petitepamplemousse · 04/04/2018 21:44

Either
-Go, but set ‘tag approval’ on FB so you can pre-approve tags and delete them
-Don’t go
-Take it as holiday, but then go back to work afterwards.

Option 1 is only if you are willing to be a bit cheeky and you think they won’t find out!

Mrscog · 04/04/2018 21:45

I’m a manager - if someone is signed off that’s that in my opinion. I would not expect them to miss things they could just about do in a way (like a social event) if they were signed off. I would be more suspicious if you were self certify then made a miraculous recovery. Well done for being up front, I hope you have a nice time despite feeling awful xx

TSSDNCOP · 04/04/2018 21:48

Go. Don’t put anything at all on SM.

Hobnobsarenotfordunking · 04/04/2018 21:52

People here are very judgmental- it surely depends on the type of job role as to whether you can compare it to a wedding.

In my job I cannot go to the toilet until a prescheduled break. I would be throwing up in a bin as I can’t visit the toilet as and when needed with morning sickness. I also can’t sit down often and so couldn’t manage the nausea. A sit down, near a toilet and plenty of fresh air at a wedding is a million miles away from my job. They don’t compare.

KarmaStar · 04/04/2018 21:57

What if you pass your illness on OP?or is it not something that can be passed on?
I wouldn't go in your position but that's just me,if I was well enough to go to a wedding is be going to work as long as not infectious.

TheShapeofYou · 04/04/2018 22:01

@KarmaStar Grin it says in the title it's MORNING sickness! Pretty sure you can't catch pregnant...! Grin

Original poster
Roquella · 04/04/2018 22:11

I am in the rare position that I do not have social media! Don't do Facebook, don't do Instagram, don't do Twitter. No issues there Smile

OP posts:
Bel04 · 04/04/2018 22:12

Only you know your own body. Don't let anyone tell you what you are able or unable to do. If work is too much atm, then it's too much. If you feel able to attend the wedding then attend and make sure you have the best time you're able to have Smile. A lot of people on here will tell you what you should do but how can they. Every pregnancy is different. Everyone's body is different. Just take each day at a time and make the right decisions for you.

Whatever your decision, just make the most of it, be happy and congrats on the baby Thanks

Original poster
Roquella · 04/04/2018 22:12

Thank you kindly @Bel04 SmileThanks

OP posts:
SillyMoomin · 04/04/2018 22:17

You’re not at a wedding tomorrow in a town beginning with B are you op? If so see you on the dance floor!

Gillian1980 · 04/04/2018 22:23

Yanbu.

A wedding where you can go out for air, go to your hotel room if you need to etc isn’t the same as a full day at work with commute.
If you feel really rough you can just stay in bed and enjoy the change of scene.

Wouldn’t bother me at all as a manager.

Original poster
Roquella · 04/04/2018 23:00

@SillyMoomin haha no I'm not! But have a fab time wherever you are 🙂

OP posts:
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