to say not in my name

[yetanothertranswoman]

When transactivists threaten a woman organising a clothes swap on Facebook and get the venue to stop the event just because they don't like the views of the organiser.

Not in my name

When transactivists threaten women on twitter and tell them to 'suck my lady penis'.

Not in my name

When transactivists threaten women with hate laws and call in the police because they express their opinions.

Not in my name

When transactivists demand access to single sex spaces despite not bothering with thinking about how the women might feel.

Not in my name

When transactivists shut down venues and silence people who have their own concerns over what is going on.

Not in my name.

I'm very grateful to yetanother jenny tru and all the other TW who post on Mumsnet. The debate on this site is several cuts above Twitter etc but I have to say that your posts in particular help me understand a different perspective, question my assumptions and feel I'm not in a total echo chamber.

As someone who is only very tentatively gender critical in public, and not at all professionally, I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to talk about this outside an anonymous website forum when it goes to the core of your identity. Thank you for sharing your experiences. If you do choose to organise more openly, I'll proudly stand with you.

In my opinion that is exactly who the ‘nu-trans’ are. I don’t think they actually believe this farce any more than we do, but it serves their purpose (and seems to garner them support from easily impressionable and desperate to be ‘right on, burn the establishment!’ youngsters)

YY.

I wonder if we made morris dancing subversive, edgy and 'down with the yoof' they would flock to county shows and cricket matches with placards?

Yes. Very. Top 1.5 of the population at a rough estimate.

OP, we stand with you. It must be fucking horrific to watch all this unfold.

I'm still learning just how complex this narrative has become; further helped by posters on this thread. Too many to name after 8 pages...but thank you all

TERFragetteCity those tweets are sickening. How anyone thinks threats and violence will steer this debate to a place of mutual respect and understanding...meh!

For what it's worth; the Hyde Park attack was what 'woke' me. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. And I thought...Not In My Name.

Pencilsinspace I agree with much of what you said, and again, thank you for helping me think about how to do something that is effective.

Strength in numbers and a distinct voice all make sense. How to achieve this; I don't yet know.

I think that transwomen's voices being identified as separate from feminists will help with clarity and public/government perception. As you say, the TRAs won't be able to say 'oh look the terfs have wheeled out a tame truscum'.

There's much that transwomen and women have in common. I'd say there's more we have in common than what we don't have in common. But I do recognise we are not the same.

Trans people are not, and have never been, the problem - self-ID and TRAs are.

Well said OP!

JennySelf - How to achieve this; I don't yet know.

Maybe get in touch with @seven_hex on Twitter who's trying to pull together 'a cohesive, united, transsexual and ally front/group/thing'

Someone else worth contacting is Debbie Hayton who wrote this brilliant article and is involved with WPUK. She posts on MN as @DebbieInBirmingham.

I really want to link to that fabAmerican transwoman who had a bit of a rant in her bathroom not so long ago. I can't remember her name. It feels like the thread for it.

Any one remember?

Riya?

She's called Rya Pencils. She's Miranda Yardley's american soul twin and she's great.

Why do you think it is that I'm more than happy, don't even think about referring to both Miranda Yardley and Rya as 'her' but not LM?

Of course I know that both Miranda and Rya are biological males but without hesitation I accept and respect that they would prefer to be referred to as female but don't insist or demand that I do so.

I would probably be comfortable to share a changing room with either but I also intuitively know neither of them would be prancing around naked or trying to gain attention. Like most women who get showered and dressed as discreetly as possible.

And I would put money on betting that neither of them would ever try to apply for a scholarship/award/position that was intended to give women a step up towards balancing out sexual inequality.

The irony is of course that OP and other transwomen who genuinely identify with women and care about women's rights are welcomed with open arms and treated as fellow women.

Whereas the TRAs who aggressively insist that we WILL acknowledge them as women will never have the same courtesy.

Really interesting thread.

It would be highly illuminating to see what kind of headway a 'genuine transsexual' group would make. Per pencils suggestion.

Making a distinction between transwomen with gender dysphoria and AGPs/TRAs/MRAs, would go a long way to clearing up a lot of this nonsense.

And people 'in the community', who have an insight, are uniquely placed to comment or make suggestions.

Another one adding my voice to the "not in my name" chorus.
Its frustrating to be fed bullshit about your own oppression. I am and have been oppressed though its easier these days, but I can still say that women won't ever face what I've faced (and the same is true In reverse) neither is better or worse but sticking us all together in one category hurts us all.
I also feel TRAs are trying to fetishize transwomen (as if we need more of that!) While also labelling women as icky dirty bleeding things. Neither of which should be tolerated.
So I say not in my name and I stand with you all
I can only be so "out" there, to protect myself professionally and to protect my children but I'll be at the upcoming march in Cardiff and I'll support where I can.

An additional point on transphobia here. I've seen it once, it was aimed at me. Fellow posters rounded on the transphobe and mnhq quickly pulled the comment. But I've seen many more posters attempt to shut down a reasonable concern or post with cries of "transphobia" that tells me where the problem lies and it ain't with so called "terfs".

I am picking up more and more concern among more of my TS friends. There is a lot of work to do to organise but we will get there.

@PeanutButterSquash

Solidarity

Well said and have some more well deserved 💐

Life is bloody hard enough!

Such an interesting thread. I've always said mumsnet has given me more insight into the lives of other women than anything else, and now it's giving me insight into the lives of transwomen too. thank you for posting.

Likewise.

It is a relief to hear the voices of genuine transwomen. I personally have no problem with you being in 'my' bathrooms. But self ID'ing? No thank you.

Thanks for this thread OP and also to Tru, Jenny and Debbie for speaking out.

I've posted before that a big concern of mine is that so many people are becoming utterly polarised in this debate we are rapidly losing the opportunity to discuss it calmly.

When you can't get past what the definition of a woman is and offensive terms are being bandied about on all sides, having a balanced and nuanced conversation about delivering a framework where trans and women's rights can both be respected is very hard - but that is the conversation we should be having.

Thank you for speaking up on this

I have to add to this today:

Stop fucking trying to get MN shut down as a place to have important conversations.

And stop fucking hassling venues which are hosting events where women and transwomen are meeting to discuss possible issues just because you are scared of women meeting.

Not in my name

Well said OP.

Very pleased to say that A Woman's Place is undeterred and undefeated, and the meeting will go ahead - despite the bullying and silencing tactics of certain transactivists.
I'm a long way from Cardiff, but I hope there meeting can now go ahead peacefully.

And may MNHQ stay strong in the face of the campaign against us, and give us all a place to talk.

Given the article in the Times this morning, once again - not in my name.

It won't stop people trying to stop women talking.

I really hope that people don't judge any trans people they meet by the actions of trans activists trying to silence women.