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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so pissed off with husband's attitude to 'helping' with our children?

180 replies

WaitingForSunday17 · 30/03/2018 18:17

Was just cooking dinner and noticed dd needed changing. Asked DH (lying on sofa) to change her and he said 'when you're the one going to work all week I'll change her'

I'm a sahm. In the main it is fair that the house and children are my responsibility but this attitude really pissed me off. She's his daughter too!

OP posts:
McTufty · 30/03/2018 18:18

What a twatty comment. Let him try staying at home for a week looking after her while you go out to work and see which one he thinks is the easy option then!

Wetwashing00 · 30/03/2018 18:19

That attitude is disgusting,
Changing a baby is not a bloody job.
I’d tell him to cook his own dinner as you’re too busy changing nappies.

LannieDuck · 30/03/2018 18:19

Point out it's a bank holiday. He has the day off work... and so do you!

MummyMuppet2x2 · 30/03/2018 18:22

Wow. How dare he.
No, YANBU.

Fruitcorner123 · 30/03/2018 18:23

So many stay at home mums on mumsnet have shitty husbands!

If that really is his attitude and wasn't his idea of a jokey comment then you need to have a very serious conversation with him.

If caring for his kids is 'work' then you are doing a 7 day a week Job for him so he better start paying you. If it isn't 'work' and is simply parenting then he can get off his lazy arse and do his duty

NapQueen · 30/03/2018 18:23

My jaw fell open at that!

What did you do?

Aprilmightmemynewname · 30/03/2018 18:24

You respond with "well when she has no respect for you in the future don't come crying to me".
Imo/e doing the 'donkey work' with dc gives you the better relationship with them.

SavoyCabbage · 30/03/2018 18:25

Good God.

I'd be getting a full time job as soon as possible if I were you.

lunar1 · 30/03/2018 18:25

Fucking hell, leave the bastard!

43percentburnt · 30/03/2018 18:26

Work is far easier than being on call 24/7. I work long hours in a stressful job but I get peace on the way to work, have lunch in my office in peace and I get to use the loo in peace. My hour commute is bliss listening to music or the radio. Dh is a sahd and I just wouldn’t treat him like that. I value his contribution. It’s an awful thing to say and tells you a lot about who he is and what he thinks about your role.

Why didn’t he notice she needs changing? I’d watch and listen closely before having any more children together. If he was single he’d have to cook his own dinner and change the nappies eow.

stitchglitched · 30/03/2018 18:26

What a shitty excuse for a father he is. I'd be telling him what an absolute let down as a partner and parent he had turned out to be and he either sorts himself out or fucks off.

JudasPriestley · 30/03/2018 18:27

Get a job. Then a divorce.

immortalmarble · 30/03/2018 18:27

It does depend on the job to be fair 43!

He’s still a knob though.

isthistoonosy · 30/03/2018 18:27

How the hell are you posting on MN, I'd be too busy slinging his shit out the door and telling him when he is the one sacraficing his career / job / pension to raise both of your children he can have an opinion on how you spend your time.

Out of interest what is the financial set up, do you have equall access to his earnings are do you have to scrimp and save while he can afford to buy himself a fancy bike/golf clubs/nice clothes

buttonmoonb4tea · 30/03/2018 18:29

Wow just wow

What did you say?

abigailsnan · 30/03/2018 18:31

My God are we back into the 1950s or what !! he needs a lesson in being a parent pretty damm quick.

C0untDucku1a · 30/03/2018 18:32

How old is the child and why and how did you decide not to go back to work after maternity leave?

Pengggwn · 30/03/2018 18:32

Your husband is a prick.

I would ask him whether he thinks my job as a SAHM isn't 'work' and, if not, what the fuck he thinks I do all day looking after his kids.

Then I'd divorce him.

Pengggwn · 30/03/2018 18:33

C0untDucku1a

What does this have to do with her husband refusing to change his child's nappy? A clue by the way, exists in the fact that the child is still is nappies - she's unlikely to be more than 2/3.

Moominfan · 30/03/2018 18:34

I'm really angry for you

FellOutOfBed2wice · 30/03/2018 18:34

Prick. What did you say? If my DH said this to me I would go off my head.

Hillarious · 30/03/2018 18:38

Nip that attitude in the bud. Thin edge of the wedge!

zzzzz · 30/03/2018 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DO3271 · 30/03/2018 18:39

My ex used to say this. His attitude was his working day started at 9am and ended at 5pm and all other times were his down time. He wanted a stepford wife and come home to a cooked meal. My son didn't sleep well for 3 years, I was on my knees tired. Now looking back I truly realise what a complete and utter knob he was. Your children are not a job, he should have more respect for you

NapQueen · 30/03/2018 18:39

Please make sure there is no portion of dinner for him. "When you pull your weight i will cook for you"