Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Texting after first date

429 replies

JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 14:31

When is too late for a guy to text? I felt he was into me but no text since we met last night. He made some references to “playing it cool” while we were on the date.

OP posts:
retirednow · 30/03/2018 14:37

Why don't you text him if you enjoyed yourself and want to see him again, what do you expect him to text you about.

MrsLaurac · 30/03/2018 14:37

Can't you text him first?
Wouldn't it be a pity of he's thinking the same as you right now and it just never happened because of that.

Original poster
JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 14:39

I always wait for them to! I did say at the end id had a really nice time

OP posts:
BlueSuffragette · 30/03/2018 14:39

Text him a simple message e.g. just wanted to say thanks, enjoyed last night, then wait and see what happens. You'll know one way or the other. Don't quite get why you have to wait for him to text first.

BadPolicy · 30/03/2018 14:42

Text something polite, but don't ask any questions. If he's shy, that'll open the door for him, if he's not into you, or too cool then he doesn't have to & you'll know.

KC225 · 30/03/2018 14:43

What were the references to 'playing it cool'

Original poster
JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 14:44

We got a bit tipsy and I asked him if he’d had a nice time (I was pretty sure he had, plus he made references to doing things again in future) - and he was like yeah, it’s been good. I jokingly said is that it?! He laughed and said he was trying to playing it cool

OP posts:
Systemoverload99 · 30/03/2018 14:45

It's only 2.30 the next day Hmm

Spam88 · 30/03/2018 14:45

I've never had time for all the drama of waiting for them to text first or leaving it a sufficient length of time before replying so you don't look too eager. If you liked him then just text him 🤷‍♀️

SnowiestMountain · 30/03/2018 14:47

Just text! Say something like 'thanks for last night, I had a really lovely time' and then leave it at that, DO NOT TEXT AGAIN if no response!! Grin

Original poster
JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 14:47

I know but most guys have texted after to see if I’ve got home safe etc

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 14:48

I don't see the problem. Just text him and thank him for a nice night out then leave it. Either he follows up on it or he doesn't.

dancingqueen345 · 30/03/2018 14:49

I'm exactly like this and would have expected a text later in the evening saying they had had a nice time 🙈although I appreciate how needy that sounds!!

After my ex and I's first date (which I thought went amazing) he didn't text me for a couple of days, by which point I was sure he wouldn't, and then casually messaged asking if I wanted to go for a drink! We were together 3 years and I asked him why he did that to me and he said it was because he was playing it cool!!

So my point (sorry) is that I don't think you should rule him out yet, but I'm with you on wanting to know immediately what they're thinking!

ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 14:52

He already said he had had a nice evening when you asked.

coconuttella · 30/03/2018 15:09

Life’s too short for these games. If you like him, text him to say you had a good evening. If he likes you and wants to take it further, I guarantee he’ll text back. If not, then you’ll know and you can move on.

MrsLaurac · 30/03/2018 15:12

But on the same accord you could have always texted to see if he got home safe too?

Original poster
JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 15:14

He said for me to text him saying I’d got home but I feel like if he did the asking out, it’s his job Blush

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 30/03/2018 15:15

If he’s interested he will get in touch, if he’s not he won’t. You’ll feel better if you accept that and don’t keep watching your phone ❤️

NorthernKnickers · 30/03/2018 15:19

You are being ridiculous! I simply can't bear this 'oh I'm not texting him!! It's his 'job' to text me!' FFS! Grow up! You do know this is 2018 don't you?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 30/03/2018 15:19

He said for me to text him saying I’d got home but I feel like if he did the asking out, it’s his job 

In the nicest way; that's pathetic. He asked you to text when you got home - you didn't. He has probably taken that as a sign that you're not too interested.

Everyone has to make an effort. It's your turn. The guys who will get off on the thrill of the chase aren't the ones you want to be with - hence why there are so many around!

If you like him; text him.

ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 15:20

Why is it his job? What was stopping you texting him to confirm you got back safely and enjoyed your night out?
Sounds very old fashioned.

YearOfYouRemember · 30/03/2018 15:22

This is all so teenage. Except my teengaesr don't have all this pointless angst.

No need to thank him for the date unless he paid. If you like him, text him, if you don't, then don't be worrying if he'll message you or not.

Quietlife1979 · 30/03/2018 15:22

I was going to say if he was interested he would have text BUT he asked you to text when you got home - presumably so he knew you were safe.

You’ve fucked it

Chocolate1984 · 30/03/2018 15:22

Modern dating is so complicated. Just text & ask if he fancies meeting up again.

Bambamber · 30/03/2018 15:24

He probably wanted you to text him when you got home just so he knew you got home safe.

The fact you didn't bother texting him has probably sent a signal that you're not interested. It's his job? Cut the crap and if you are interested just text him and stop playing silly games