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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Texting after first date

429 replies

JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 14:31

When is too late for a guy to text? I felt he was into me but no text since we met last night. He made some references to “playing it cool” while we were on the date.

OP posts:
Calvinlookingforhobbs · 30/03/2018 15:24

Do NOT text. Wait for him to or if you just, text him tomorrow afternoon.

Flisspaps · 30/03/2018 15:25

@Chocolate1984 it's really not.

@JapaneseCat just text him, it's 20fucking18.

sprinkleofsunshine · 30/03/2018 15:27

So he asked you to text him you got home safe and you didn't and now you're complaining he hasn't text you?! He may be think you're not interested as you haven't text him when he asked.

It's ridiculous playing these games, just be an adult and text him if you want to. 'How job' is a pathetic excuse.

Ribrabrob · 30/03/2018 15:27

It's only 3.30 Confused you sound a bit needy I'm afraid. Give him a chance! And you can text him, surely?

HeadOverMills · 30/03/2018 15:27

Wtf, if a guy doesn't message me, il simply message him. No reply, then il bin him off.

This whole "he should chase me crap" is bs.

I'm sorry, but il guess this is why you are single.

ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 15:36

Texting tomorrow afternoon is fucking ridiculous.
No harm in thanking him for his company even if you went halves.
He probably thinks you're not interested now.

PutTheBunnyBackInTheBox · 30/03/2018 15:40

Oh dear, OP, you sound like me 20 years ago.

I'm assuming you didn't text because you were hoping HE would text, therefore proving to you he liked you and was worried about you.

You've started playing games right from the first date, if he has half a brain he'll have realised this and walked away.

My advice? Stay single and enjoy being single until you realise you don't need a partner to make you feel loved and happy. Sorry if that sounds harsh but like I said, I've been there.

Purplerain101 · 30/03/2018 15:40

He asked you to text him when you got home and you didn’t. If I were him i’d Have taken that as a massive red flag that you weren’t interested. Just bloody text him. I’m always forward when I like someone and it’s never caused me any issues. We aren’t living in the Victorian ages

DragonMummy1418 · 30/03/2018 15:44

Omg! You sound like such hard work!

He asked you to text him so he knew you got home ok. So you should have texted him, he probably thinks you don't want to text him.

WHY should all the effort be on the mans side in this world of equality?

GROW UP.

Joey7t8 · 30/03/2018 15:46

He asked you to text him and you’ve not. Most guys will take that as a subtle rejection and will move on. The type of guy that doesn’t read that as a rejection would be the desperate/needy type that bombards you with texts and that you’d probably not be interested in.

Text him first. If he doesn’t text back, that’s when you know he’s not interested.

VodkaRusschian · 30/03/2018 15:50

If he asked you to text and you didn't he would assume you're not interested. If you want to see him again you're going to have text.

VodkaRusschian · 30/03/2018 15:51

Have to text, I meant.

NorthernKnickers · 30/03/2018 15:53

@Calvinlookingforhobbs terrible advice! You're as bad as the OP! Jesus, what era are you both living in 🙄 It is women like you who negate the sacrifices that the Women's Movement have fought for over so many years! Get a grip.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/03/2018 15:54

I couldn't be doing with games. If you like him send him a text. If he texts back great if he doesn't you know where you stand.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 30/03/2018 15:57

1957 called and wants it's games back.

He asked you to let him know you'd arrived home safely - you chose not to. If you liked him surely you'd just text "Just in, thanks for a lovely evening" and see if he responded. Direct and blunt as a spade to the face is the future - the night I met DH I texted him afterwards and said how great it had been to meet him and we never really stopped talking from that point. If I'd waited and played games - or if he had - one of us would probably have thought 'fuckit' and walked away.

Deshasafraisy · 30/03/2018 15:58

Only text him if you can live with the mortification of possible being ignored. If you can then you’ve nothing to lose

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 30/03/2018 16:00

I just don’t get it...

NorthernKnickers · 30/03/2018 16:02

'Mortification of being ignored'. How on earth can you be mortified being ignored by text??? It's a fucking text message not a public proposal in front of millions! Jesus wept! I despair, honestly!

Allthewaves · 30/03/2018 16:03

So you never bothered to text him that u were safe home. Hardly suprising he hasn't text you. You have been so rude.

YearOfYouRemember · 30/03/2018 16:05

Ha. I was the one waiting up for dh to ring me to say he'd got home. I left him at 10:30 and had to wait up until 1ish. No games. No messing about. Rang when he said he would. Together 22 years.

Ikeameatballs · 30/03/2018 16:09

Text him. Say "Forgot to text when I got home last night. Had a great time."

YourWanMajella · 30/03/2018 16:11

He said for me to text him saying I’d got home but I feel like if he did the asking out, it’s his job

Right so you ignored him and now expect him to text you, and you're doing the faux girly its a mans job schtick?

DiegoMadonna · 30/03/2018 16:12

Yeah, if I said "text me when you get home" and my date didn't, I'd assume they were not interested. Or dead. Either way, not much point in me chasing them up the next day!

purplefox · 30/03/2018 16:14

He asked you to text him when you got home, you didn't, he's probably thinking you're not interested so why on earth would he text you?

Also, you probably want to grow up a bit.

GeekyWombat · 30/03/2018 16:15

God this sounds exhausting! He asked you to text, you didn’t. He’s probably assuming you’re not interested.

If you want to see him again text him. If you don’t stop overthinking it and go on to someone else.