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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Texting after first date

429 replies

JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 14:31

When is too late for a guy to text? I felt he was into me but no text since we met last night. He made some references to “playing it cool” while we were on the date.

OP posts:
YellowFlower201 · 30/03/2018 17:48

You sound hard work. Confused

g1itterati · 30/03/2018 17:49

I agree Laiste. At this point in time, anything could have happened to OP since the date and he would be none the wiser. Most men would at least get you an uber anyway, unless you're very rural or something, in which case he could drop you home.

ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 17:52

She could have texted him once she was home.

She isn't some quivering Victorian flower.

Redglitter · 30/03/2018 17:52

He said for me to text him saying I’d got home but I feel like if he did the asking out, it’s his job

Well he asked you to text him. You didn't he probably assumes you're not interested.

You do realise it's 2018 not 1958 don't you. 🙄

Do the guy a favour and don't contact him. You sound like too much hard work

kimanda · 30/03/2018 17:56

@laiste

I'm going to stick my head over the parapet here (while we're waiting) and say i would not text a bloke after a first date. I'd wait for him and if nothing happened that would be that.

Why should he have to text you? Why won't you text him?

No loss for him though, as I imagine most men would be happy to not see someone this precious and entitled again.

@Glitterati

I agree Laiste. At this point in time, anything could have happened to OP since the date and he would be none the wiser. Most men would at least get you an uber anyway, unless you're very rural or something, in which case he could drop you home.

And what about the OP's 'date?' Maybe HE didn't get home safely? Or is only HER welfare important?

She doesn't know if HE is OK, as she cannot be arsed to message him to find out.

Men are much better off without women like the OP, and Laiste, and you. The words' precious,' 'princess' and 'entitled' spring to mind.

Original poster
JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 17:58

I will text.

What should I say?

As a pp above said though, I don’t want him to just humour it if he is lukewarm...

OP posts:
kimanda · 30/03/2018 17:58

'It's his job' to do the texting to see if I am ok.'

What a load of antiquated, outdated bollocks. Hmm

Bet the women who think this, think the man should pay for everything too. It's attitudes like this that set women back centuries!

Original poster
JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 17:59

“Hey, hope you got home ok last night. Thanks for a really nice eve!”

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 17:59

Do none of these precious fragile women ever make their own way home from evenings that are not dates with men? Do they all expect someone to text them to ensure they're still alive?

kimanda · 30/03/2018 18:01

I will text. What shall I say?

Hi. I had a great time last night. We will have to do it again soon. Let me know when you want to meet up again, and we can consult our schedules and arrange a time and day. Look forward to hearing from you.......'

THEN it's up to him to get in touch. If he doesn't come back to you with a suggestion for a time and date, then don't bother with him again.

OutofSyncGirl · 30/03/2018 18:02

Um...he asked you last night to text when you got home so you decided not to.

And then you wonder why he hasn't texted today?! He probably thinks you didn't want to message him.

kimanda · 30/03/2018 18:03

Yeah why didn't you text him to let him know you had got home OP?

(Like he asked you to.)

g1itterati · 30/03/2018 18:04

No OP don't text him that long message about consulting schedules FGS! Don't ext him - why? If he wants to, he will ring.

Caroline680 · 30/03/2018 18:05

God if I had my time again I’d be fucking ice queen.

HE IS NOT INTO YOU DO NOT TEXT

Original poster
JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 18:05

I got home at half midnight and felt a bit awkward about texting so late. Was also quite drunk and went straight to bed! What can I say?

OP posts:
Original poster
JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 18:05

So many mixed messages on here

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 18:06

Just thank him for his company and tell him you enjoyed your evening.

g1itterati · 30/03/2018 18:07

How did you get home OP?

Original poster
JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 18:07

I got a taxi

OP posts:
Stillwishihadabs · 30/03/2018 18:08

I have been with DH 20 years so know nothing, but I would go with "so sorry forgot to text last night, home fine, hope you are having a good Friday

VodkaRusschian · 30/03/2018 18:08

Hi. I had a great time last night. We will have to do it again soon. Let me know when you want to meet up again, and we can consult our schedules and arrange a time and day. Look forward to hearing from you.......'

Hmm. No, I think that's a bit overkill. Perhaps the first two and a half sentences with an 'if' instead of the 'when'.

ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 18:08

There aren't mixed messages. One or two appear to live in Victorian Cranford but most posters are suggesting a quick friendly message.

g1itterati · 30/03/2018 18:10

Fair enough, I guess that's better than getting trains etc. You know what to do OP and your gut instinct to not text is right in this instance. Don't set yourself up for a waste of time.

ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 18:10

Taxi?

OK then

Thanks for a lovely evening. Got home safely by taxi. Hope you enjoyed it too.

Original poster
JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 18:12

“Fair enough, I guess that's better than getting trains etc. You know what to do OP and your gut instinct to not text is right in this instance. Don't set yourself up for a waste of time.”

What does this mean?

OP posts:
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