Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Texting after first date

429 replies

JapaneseCat · 30/03/2018 14:31

When is too late for a guy to text? I felt he was into me but no text since we met last night. He made some references to “playing it cool” while we were on the date.

OP posts:
Callamia · 30/03/2018 16:17

Diego, haha - maybe he’s assumed that his date is dead :( No point texting someone who didn’t even make it home after the date.

DiegoMadonna · 30/03/2018 16:19

And he saw such a bright future ahead of them too! sad

madsiemoomoo · 30/03/2018 16:24

Oh god, why on earth do people insist on playing such ridiculous games when dating? Put your big girl pants on and be a grown up, not a needy girl child who thinks it's his job to text first because he asked you out....

Vitalogy · 30/03/2018 16:36

I agree, he asked you to text when you got in but didn't. He probably thinks you aren't interested.

WednesdaySpinner · 30/03/2018 16:37

He said text him when you got home and you didn’t. Why would he text you now? If you had a great time then text him and say that to him, if he doesn’t reply then it’s his loss and you can hold your head up high and find someone else who will text you back and doesn’t play these games

flowery · 30/03/2018 16:45

He asked you to text him to let him know when you got home. You ignored that. Therefore he’s probably thinking you’re not interested.

Texting you in circumstances where you’ve sent a clear “not interested” message would be a bit stalky of him really wouldn’t it?

kimanda · 30/03/2018 16:46

You sound needy and clingy OP. You need to chill da fuk out!

And message HIM if you want to know if he wants to see you again.

You are allowed to you know!

letsdolunch321 · 30/03/2018 16:49

How immature!!

Just text the guy. Think you could lose a good guy cause you think you are above texting him !! ODD

TheNaze73 · 30/03/2018 16:49

Why are you playing games? You sound very needy.

RazzleDazz1e · 30/03/2018 16:54

If he interested he will contact you- regardless of whether you message him.... maybe just wait it out and see?

g1itterati · 30/03/2018 16:57

JapaneseCat - I'm very Hmm by the advice on here. You do sound a bit on edge, but you are not playing games by any means. Don't text him - what's the point? It's so easy for him to text to check you got home ok, etc. Chasing men who can't be bothered to do the most very basic thing after a date is one reason why so many women end up with losers. Its a slippery slope. It's better to find out early, one way or the other.

Vitalogy · 30/03/2018 17:05

When he said text him, did you say yes you would?
If I'd said yes and then didn't text, I'd be worrying he'd be worrying Confused I'm a bit of a worry wart though but still.

AnaViaSalamanca · 30/03/2018 17:25

It doesn't matter if you text or not. If he really likes you, he would pluck up the courage to text you. If he was so so and lukewarm about it, and he doesn't hear from you, he wouldn't. If he is lukewarm and you text, you will probably go out a few more times, and then it will fizzle out. So, I would say do what makes you happy. Do you like him a lot? Text him so that he doesn't become the one that got away. If you don't really care either way, then just drop it because from what i can tell from your OP, getting a lukewarm response (like I had a nice time too), no response, or a polite rejection wouldn't be that pleasant for you.

HundredMilesAnHour · 30/03/2018 17:26

Chasing men who can't be bothered to do the most very basic thing after a date is one reason why so many women end up with losers.

This goes both ways. He asked the OP to text him to let him know she was home safely. She either couldn't be bothered or she was playing silly games and didn't text him. So since the OP didn't "do the most very basic thing", I guess that makes her the loser here.

Honestly OP, do you think it's the 1950s? Why on earth didn't you let him know you were home okay? Especially when he asked you to let him know. That would have been an easy set up to agree another date. He sounded like a decent guy and you've acted like an idiot due to some outdated ideas you have. I take it you won't be voting in the next election as no doubt that's a man's job too. Seriously! Woman have worked so hard (and continue to do so) to be treated as equals and you behave like a simpering Victorian miss.Hmm

ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 17:27

very basic thing after a date

Why is it very basic for him to text and not her?

Ollivander84 · 30/03/2018 17:30

Just text him saying something like "completely forgot to say I was home last night! Had a great time, how are you?" Or something

catsoup · 30/03/2018 17:32

Just text him. One way or another you'll have an answer and won't be sat wondering what if...

Previous poster who said that it's your turn to make the effort is spot on.

PrincessScarlett · 30/03/2018 17:35

He's asked you to let him know when you get home and you haven't. How ridiculous! That will have given him the impression that you really aren't bothered.

HollowTalk · 30/03/2018 17:36

Or text saying, "Just got in!"

g1itterati · 30/03/2018 17:37

"Why is it very basic for him to text and not her?"

Well, it just is and the vast majority of people know this. I can't believe how many people are stretching logic and making excuses for his not texting already!

I guess it depends partly on how convoluted it was for the OP to get back last night, if he couldn't drop her off. Maybe he wasn't driving? Anyway, he could text regardless.

Laiste · 30/03/2018 17:37

If OP said she'd text to say she was home safe and she didn't then surely he should have texted to ask if she's ok?!

ilovesooty · 30/03/2018 17:40

Well it just is and the vast majority of people know this

Not on this thread evidently.
Not in my social circles.
Not in 2018 as far as I'm aware.

SparklyMagpie · 30/03/2018 17:43

God I can't stand people like this,why does it always have to be the men to text first? I always send a little text just to thank them again and to check they got home ok.

I wouldn't even bother then if that's they way you see it,that he should do all the chasing

Laiste · 30/03/2018 17:44

I'm going to stick my head over the parapet here (while we're waiting) and say i would not text a bloke after a first date. I'd wait for him and if nothing happened that would be that.

SnowiestMountain · 30/03/2018 17:46

Have you text yet OP?? Overinvested

Swipe left for the next trending thread