To think that’s it’s cheeky as fuck to expect other people to fund your skin removal surgery?

[Lactofreechummy]

My friend had gastric bypass surgery last year after really struggling with her weight since childhood.

She has done amazingly well and lost over 11 stones.

Yesterday, I had a notification pop up on facebook.

My friend has set up a page where people can donate money to help fund her skin removal surgery. The target is set at £6,500.

As someone who has also lost a considerable amount of weight (5.5 stones) and also has some extra skin etc, I find it ludicrous to even think of asking for other’s to fund it. I have told my friend this and she said that she couldn’t think of any other way to raise funds quickly enough.

Gastric bypass surgery really isn't the easy option.

MrsLupo Tue 27-Mar-18 17:44:21

"If she had lost weight properly whilst exercising and eating right she wouldn't have a load of loose skin."

BULLSHIT i did mine on Slimming World.

@HelenaDove It was SweetMoon who said this, not me, thanks.

@mirime

Read what I wrote. If you 100% know that what you're doing could cause serious ill health, then you can't go running to the BUS demanding treatment. I did not say if your illness or injury can be traced back to any tiny detail you've caused, then you should pay yourself.
If you Google hard enough, everything causes cancer. That can't be helped. But things that have been conclusively proven or accepted and you continue to do to yourself, like smoking then go pay for your own treatment.

And again, people have medical reasons and they need help. Binge eating disorder was one example. I also mentioned mental health issues - that covers past abuse etc. Those things need treated and really should be treated before you end up in a mobility scooter because of obesity.

My complaint is that the majority of people are overweight due to their lifestyle choices. That can't be argued with.

I skidive, so I have private health insurance and have had to use it for injuries. I make the choice to take part in a dangerous sport, so I pay for the healthcare.

Sorry Lupo i copied and pasted in a hurry

The NHS is so short sighted with this. Finally they are realising that bariatric surgery is cost effective. In extreme cases like sally the same should apply. Also sally if you crowdfunded I would donate.
I am at the start of a weight loss journey again and I am really looking forward to having no loose skin as I am losing slowly and working out at the gym. O wait.

Ava DH has emphysema He smoked But he grew up in the 1950s and 60s when it was the norm and EVERYWHERE. In cinemas buses trains shops offices hospitals.

People of a certain age with smoking related illnesses shouldnt be punished because the goalposts have been moved.

not cheeky at all, if people want to help they will if not they won't. no one is forcing anyone and if loads of people put a couple of quid in who exactly has it hurt? And she doesn't have to have that skin problem which I know can be really bad.

The NHS should fund it but its not cheeky to try and crowdfund.

@HelenaDove

For goodness sake. It's a wipe the slate clean sort of issue. For those of us who know better, it should apply.
For people exposed to adverts in the 50s and 60s which said 'smoking is good for your lungs' then they get a pass.

We've learned a lot, and my generation and possibly the one before should be held accountable for not paying attention. However, other than smoking, there's not much that we didn't realise was super bad - alcohol, too much sugar, too many calories, no exercise. It's really not difficult to say you go to the back of the queue if you showed complete disregard for your health while kids are being denied treatments cos the NHS is floundering.

I hate crowd funding as a rule, but this I would happily donate to for a friend. Especially if they have kept the weight off for a long time.

It is a shame the NHS doesn't fund it any more. I have multiple lipomatosis, I am smothered all over in lipomas. It's awful how many I have. I am sore, they hurt and they feel ugly. Touch me on one in the wrong way and it hurts like hell. I have too many to have the odd one removed as it wouldn't make a difference, but liposuction could work and help me with the pain. The NHS won't fund it. I would feel too cheeky to ask others to help me. Good for your friend though. It's a worthwhile course I think.

cause not course!

My complaint is that the majority of people are overweight due to their lifestyle choices. That can't be argued with.

I was overweight for a while because I ate crap and didn't move much.

I disagree though, that anyone who gets so large that they qualify for a gastric band and have a lot of excess skin after weight loss got that way from lifestyle choices alone. Well, of course their diet lead to weight gain but they didn't become that way just because they were greedy. Much more is going on. No one likes food enough to get that big and uncomfortable. A little overweight? Maybe, but someone 11 stone overweight? I don't believe it.

@U2HasTheEdge

Have you seen America? The obese there aren't all suffering mental problems.

Loads of people say that once they've gotten overweight, they fund it hard to lose and that makes them upset so they eat to cheer themselves up. That's not mental illness. People need help changing their approach to food and need help finding motivation to move - being shown that it does work but won't happen in a few weeks.

We weren't like this as a society a few generations ago. We are now. Processed food and sedentary lifestyle which we didn't have then but we have now are to blame, minus the minority with underlying medical conditions

"We weren't like this as a society a few generations ago."

Jesus do we really need to list whats changed in society over these generations.

I would donate if it was one of my friends. I know money doesn't fall from the skin for skin removal surgery, I do believe anyone in the situation should be given options, payment options over a long period.

I would never fat shame anyone, I can understand why a very obese person would be put off loosing the weigh unless they have the money for after surgery.

Fast food restaurants are heaven. I watch an American juvenile detention centre programme all of the female inmates under 18 were obese. The guards were really heavy, it is very sad, a serious epidemic without a doubt.

You can list all the social and economic changes you like. Try and blame social media. Try to blame mother's going out to work so people aren't cooking from scratch. It keeps on going.

Bottom line - if you eat too much and don't burn it off then you get fat. The majority are not suffering any mental illness or disorder. They eat too much of the wrong foods and/or don't move enough.

I'm sorry if you're overweight, but trying to blame anyone but yourself is a cop out. If you have underlying medical conditions then get help for those, but for everyone else- control your food intake like the rest of us do.

Obesity is going to cost 1.25 trillion a year by 2025 - just in healthcare costs worldwide. I don't even want to know what it will cost the economy. It's terrifying.

And most of it would be solved if people took responsibility for themselves instead of trying to blame anything else they can think of.

Those with underlying conditions have paths to get help and should follow them. But mostly, cook instead of eating crap, control portion size, snack on vegetables instead of junk. Move around. Before people eat us into financial and medical oblivion.

Well despite your insistence that you feel the same way about alchoholism you dont seem to have posted on any threads remotely related to that subject.

You do seem overly invested in this though. You have never been overweight right? Yet you think you know best.

I wonder why this is accepted when it comes to weight.

Because if teetotal never been drunk me started posting on the sober threads i have no doubt that i would be told "you have never been through it (alchohol addiction) so you dont know what you are talking about.

So why doesnt the same principle apply to weight i wonder

I've only been on mumsnet for about 2 weeks I think. I havnt seen a thread about an alcoholic being refused nhs treatment for something related to their drinking, but if I do, then I'd side with the NHS.

This particular thread isn't about alcoholism though.

I am deeply invested in this as my mother was oberweight. She fed us right, but she ate junk on between and I hated it. She had to do that tred mill test thing to check her heart and all of that and I remember being terrified that if lose my mum because she liked to snack. How selfish, and completely unnecessary.
She has since lost the weight. Living healthily but I'd never forgive her if I'd lost her because she wanted to eat.

I have a tred mill in my living room, a rowing machine and exercise bike in my bedroom, an exercise hoop and pushing bag in my garage. I get up at 5/5.30 every day so I can do an hour circuit before the kids get up - with 2 rest days a week. I love food and love cooking so i dont live on salad. I'm thin, not because of luck or good genes but because I work bloody hard at it. You could almost say I go to the extreme in the opposite direction.

But there is a middle ground. I just don't see why people can't stick to the middle ground of eating and exercising if they have no clinical reason to explain their overeating.

Would this lady be your friend anymore if she knew you were posting this about her ? Who needs enemies, eh ?

I'm not really one for crowd funding for stuff like this, but she doesn't "expect" you to pay for it, you don't have to, just ignore it. But for goodness sake, if she is your friend, please don't post things about her like this.

As for the NHS, many medications and treatments that people need can be traced back to something they should have done or shouldn't have done. Some people pay no tax, some people pay a lot. The NHS is there for everyone, regardless. So those who say it shouldn't be paid for by NHS, have you never received treatment or medication on the NHS for something that was in one way or another preventable ?

Ava my DM was the opposite She starved herself She was underweight when my dad met her in the 1960s.

Without taking the issues personally. AVA is making a valid points, as a society we need to take responsibility. I am not overweight though my DC do eat more crap than they should, they are not overweight yet. DP is. This thread has made me rethink our family eating habits.

I'll be pre doing the shopping list and making some changes. We are teaching our DC to use food as an emotional crutch, constantly using mental health issues as the reason for our relationship with shit food, When in reality it tastes good and it convenient. I order a takeout weekly its never great its habits. DP will be sad it is changing to every forth night now.

I dislike this current fashion to crowd fund non-life threatening/essential stuff you should really work out how to pay for yourself. Everyone has large unexpected expenses in life and you just have to figure it out in my book. How is it more acceptable to crowd fund what is essentially a cosmetic operation than it would be to crowd fund the purchase of a car you need for your job etc.?

I will happily donate to crowd funding for clearly worthy causes - life saving treatment, helping out a family who has been through significant trauma etc.

If you want something like this badly enough I think you should do it the old fashioned way - either save or take out a loan.

If she's lost 11 stones she must have a hell of a lot of loose skin, and she won't be feeling good about her body even if she's slimmer. What's it to you if shes trying for crowdfunding? You can just ignore it.

You're the CF for telling her you disapprove. She's told you she's no other way of raising the money. So you've had your answer haven't you?

Leave the woman alone

I got hyperthyroidism, no fault of my own.
I lost 3 stone.
My thyroid was removed. I never gained any weight back. I am medicated, obviously. I would like to. Not sure anyone would like to fiund my weight gain, which won't happen anyway.
My body doesn't do weight gain.
I've had children. I got ill afterwards. No loose skin, but I'd never dare to set up a webpage to feed me enough to gain it back.
Being thin sucks too. NHS don't care. Nobody cares.
Being thin is awesome, right?
Except I have multiple issues due to the weight loss.
I wouldn't be keen to fiund someone else's weight/skin loss either.
Yep, elevenerife scenario. But being forcibly thin has its own issues:
I will keep voting Labour in the hope that someone sees this as a significant medical issue.
I'm iron, B12 and various deficiencies. I get free prescriptions, but nothing helps.
My neurology is fucked.. I get lots of antidepressants, except I am not depressed. I studied neurology for 2 years to try and fix myself. My pituitary doesn't function correctly. NHS disagree.
If you are alive, nobody cares.