Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think that’s it’s cheeky as fuck to expect other people to fund your skin removal surgery?

381 replies

Lactofreechummy · 27/03/2018 13:53

My friend had gastric bypass surgery last year after really struggling with her weight since childhood.

She has done amazingly well and lost over 11 stones.

Yesterday, I had a notification pop up on facebook.

My friend has set up a page where people can donate money to help fund her skin removal surgery. The target is set at £6,500.

As someone who has also lost a considerable amount of weight (5.5 stones) and also has some extra skin etc, I find it ludicrous to even think of asking for other’s to fund it. I have told my friend this and she said that she couldn’t think of any other way to raise funds quickly enough.

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 27/03/2018 14:39

Hello Helena

Can't know until presented with the opportunity, to be honest. Very few of us have no flaws in some way or other.

But the fact remains that the NHS is continually being asked to do things that it was never set up to do and that it simply can't afford. There are hundreds of thousands of people with a B12 deficiency which can cause permanent nerve damage and dementia and cause significant health issues and potentially cost the NHS a great deal of money as they age. I am one of them. They will give us one injection every three months but for most of us, that is not sufficient and we need it every month. The injection costs 50 p per time. So, £6 a year to help lead a normal life and prevent long term health issues and financial burden. But they won't. Yet I look at what they will fund that costs significantly more and often with far less impact. It will fund a certain amount of IVF (differs across the country) and while not having a baby if you really want one must be heart breaking, it is not going to cause permanent nerve damage, dementia and many other issues that people like me are going to face - and cost the NHS further funds.

So, I am sorry, if I can't have my treatment at £6 per year which will make a huge impact, then no, I don't think this surgery should be available on the NHS. I'm sorry if that sounds blunt but I have to accept the NHS can't do everything; it does not have a bottomless pit of money.

There will be other people with other conditions not getting the treatment they need either. If we really want it to do everything, then we have to look at the sort of tax system I've mentioned above or completely change the way it operates and is funded.

HelenaDove · 27/03/2018 14:41

Mines not to that extent either. But it can be horribly demoralising for people to live with.

NFATR · 27/03/2018 14:45

I don't see why its anything to do with you. She can ask, anyone can say no.
So what?

HelenaDove · 27/03/2018 14:46

£6 a year and they wont fund it? Thats ludicrous.

As i said my problem isnt that bad..........it was probably helpful that id lost the weight while still quite young.

But the poster who lost 20 stone (double what i did) was constantly getting skin infections and there is a risk of sepsis with this. Which would be ironic considering the NHS puts out a lot of media campaigns saying how weight loss will prolong life.

expatinscotland · 27/03/2018 14:48

Meh. She's not expecting, but if people want to front her the money, that's their lookout.

HelenaDove · 27/03/2018 14:49

There was another poster on here who was receiving treatment from the NHS and the consultant moaned about her weight while writing out yet another prescription for steroids.

After kicking off about the hypocrisy she got the alternative £12"000 a year injections next time she went in.

5foot5 · 27/03/2018 14:52

A friend of mine lost loads of weight and had excess skin removed by the NHS. It's got to have been 10 years ago now though. She put all the weight back on about 18 months later.

Surely she burst! Shock

Sosog00d · 27/03/2018 14:53

Shatners I'm in the B12 boat too. ONce every 3 months, not even every 12 weeks in my surgery's case!

OP I'm not generally in support of this things at all tbh. Not that I cast blame either. So I guess I am on the fence....

BrendasUmbrella · 27/03/2018 14:54

If someone is susceptible to repeated skin infections from loose skin, how many tubes of ointment and bottles of antibiotics are they going to go through over the years, how many GP appointments? In those cases of course they should be given an operation.

Eveforever · 27/03/2018 14:56

I think deciding what treatments should be funded is a very complex issue, not to mention subjective. I'm surprised that, if your treatment is as inexpensive as you say, yet so important, the NHS would not fund people to have the correct amount of injections. It seems like an odd and unreasonable decision. However, we are going off topic somewhat. Admittedly I've only scanned the thread, but has anybody mentioned that weight issues can by caused by medical issues? Quite often you get the impression from some that they think overweight people only have simply themselves to blame and are less worthy of treatment.

flowerslemonade · 27/03/2018 14:58

I don't see the problem with her setting up a crowdfunding page at all. She's asking people if they want to help fund it and they can make up their own minds.

MrsLupo · 27/03/2018 14:58

If I had the money, I would happily help someone pay for this. Excess loose skin is a magnet for infection and a tremendous practical problem on a daily basis. I would also be happy for the NHS to fund it.

bonnyshide · 27/03/2018 14:59

Of course the NHS shouldn't fund this

Neither should her friends

I think you friend needs to pay for the plastic surgery herself

picklemepopcorn · 27/03/2018 15:05

The nhs should find the B injections, without a doubt. That isn't a financial decision, because it's peanuts and would save money from all the other diagnoses people tend to get, it's an old lack of understanding about it decision. I've seen awareness raising campaigns about it before.

However, I would happily fund someone's skin loss op.

Losing weight is damn hard, and managing the excess skin really demoralising. It's also uncomfortable, infection prone, and generally problematic. It's not that expensive in the grans scheme of 5hings, and worth it to help motivate weight loss. I would happily contribute for a friend.

JaneEyre70 · 27/03/2018 15:11

I think any crowd funding is vile to be honest and I never donate. There's a lady in my local town who fundraised for an electric wheelchair - and there was a lot of community action to raise the £5k for her. What no one actually knew was that she'd been assessed as "able" to walk by her OT, in fact told she needed to walk to maintain her muscles, and that it wasn't something she needed, it was something she wanted (I was involved in her care at one stage). A big difference. She bought it off one of those god awful disability sales door to door salespeople, and wasn't remotely suitable for her as she couldn't use it independently... defeating the purpose of giving her independence. She's now got a charity to fund another, that is purpose built and made to measure (she's around 25 stone) and they are paying about £12k for it. All for someone who doesn't actually need it. It's horrific.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 27/03/2018 15:13

The entire point of crowd funding is if you wish to fund you do, if you don’t you don’t.

That is it, other than that it’s not really anything to do with you

ShatnersWig · 27/03/2018 15:15

Hello Soso Shit innit?

hilzilla · 27/03/2018 15:17

Go on, donate a fiver to her cause, she's your friend. It's the cost of a large glass of wine, she must be in a desperate situation to have to ask.

bobstersmum · 27/03/2018 15:26

If you don't want to donate, just don't? The whole idea of these crowdfund things is pure cheek when you think about it, but if people want to give then it shouldn't bother anyone else.

QuimReaper · 27/03/2018 15:33

I'd probably donate if I had a friend in this person's position. If it were me though, I'd ask for sponsorship to train for an event or something "in exchange", not just a straight-up handout.

BarbarianMum · 27/03/2018 15:36

Fine of ask. Completely fine to say no, or ignore.

TheNoseyProject · 27/03/2018 15:40

People ask for money for all sorts of CF stuff. An acquaintance of mine wants people to fund his flight to play a gig in another country. He and his partner are employed and always sharing images of loads of v expensive gear associated with their huge number of hobbies online.

I raised an eyebrow and did not donate but I can’t get cross about it. It’s only a request.

SweetMoon · 27/03/2018 15:47

If her friends want to fund it fine. Personally I think it's cheeky asking them. It certainly shouldn't be funded by the NHS. I assume the NHS funded her gastric band? If she had lost weight properly whilst exercising and eating right she wouldn't have a load of loose skin. She took the easy route but why should the NHS keep funding her? Her decision to become so fat she now has this issue. No one forced food down her throat.

YouCantGetHereFromThere · 27/03/2018 15:48

She has done amazingly well and lost over 11 stones.

I'd rather support this request than many other CF crowdfunding requests I've seen. I'm not sure I could lose that much weight. Good for her.

formerbabe · 27/03/2018 15:51

She is being unreasonable.

Most of us have things we need and can't afford...I could use a new car, washing machine, vacuum cleaner, carpets etc.

I don't set up a crowd funding page to raise money for those things.