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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what the world is coming to when the Daily Fail comments section shows more tolerance and understanding than Mumsnet

486 replies

worldsupsidedown · 27/03/2018 10:09

So, I've name changed as I am thoroughly ashamed of having clicked on the side bar of shame, also having been reading an article in the DM at all.

However, there is a story about a very sweet couple - both, wait for it transpeople .

He was a woman and she was a man, they are young and in love, hard working, successful and when you scroll down to the comments are widely accepted by the readers. I mean these readers are generally considered to be the most closed minded and prejudiced people, but EVEN they are OK with it. Because you know what, it is OK.

However, here on Mumsnet no, no. no. He (the transman who was born a woman) would have to come and change alongside your children, get changed in your female only changing rooms, be in your 'safe spaces'. She (the very beautiful, very feminine transwoman who was born a man) would have to go and change with the men, wouldn't be allowed to use the ladies, wouldn't be allowed to access rape crisis if she was assaulted in those places....if you all got your way.

How the fuckity fuck can anyone justify their batshit opinions of that, the world has gone mad if you think that these people are not allowed to live their lives as the gender they identify with because of your petty prejudice and bigotry. Essentially it is none of your business.

So, AIBU to think WTF is going on when the DM and their readership is a more tolerant and accepting place than here?

OP posts:
kimanda · 27/03/2018 10:10

Oh FFS another trans thread.

Biscuit
TheSpottedZebra · 27/03/2018 10:10

DM AND trans. Jackpot!

TheSpottedZebra · 27/03/2018 10:11

Ooh, and I'll add - telling women they're in the wrong. So new, so fresh.

Mightymucks · 27/03/2018 10:13

Yes. But they’ve been moderated to fuck.

Anyway, two people have decided to get married to each other. I don’t think even the rabidest TERF would have an issue with two consenting adults being in a relationship. What’s the problem?

MorningsEleven · 27/03/2018 10:15

YANBU. They're lovely people and wonderful advocates for the trans community.

Helmetbymidnight · 27/03/2018 10:15

She the very beautiful, very feminine transwoman who was born a man

ah well, if she's very beautiful and very feminine, that makes all the difference.

lubeybooby · 27/03/2018 10:16

Well said OP, I know it's ANOTHER trans thread but it makes a change from the disgusting hysterical trumpette brigade being vile in the name of 'feminism'

As a feminist I stand up for ALL women, trans or otherwise and yes that includes self ID

Original poster
worldsupsidedown · 27/03/2018 10:16

I know, sorry - I'm so fucking sick of the trans threads - I just wanted to see a bit of balance as the majority are so terftastic and saddening and I know that not everyone can possibly be that awful. Plus the DM, again - apologies - but that was my point, the DM and their readership are such a bunch of cunts and yet even they are not being nasty bigots.

Mightymucks, I would love to think that not even the rabidist terf would have an issue with it, but I bet they can...

OP posts:
petmyunicorn · 27/03/2018 10:18

YANBU. It's great to see positive representation of all sorts of people in the media!

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 27/03/2018 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

KERALA1 · 27/03/2018 10:20

"Rabid terf"

Listen to yourselves. Misogynistic vile abuse on a site supposed to be supportive to parents, mainly mothers.

DancesWithOtters · 27/03/2018 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 27/03/2018 10:24

How on earth can you preach about tolerance when you are yelling at posters on this thread using vile, nasty, misogynistic language and coming across as so aggressive?

OP you are a hypocrite. Why should anyone listen to you?

Original poster
worldsupsidedown · 27/03/2018 10:26

They would be equally worthy of the praise, however if they were in a swimming pool changing room with a MN'er who was a TERF would be less likely to get to the dried and dressed stage without being a victim of discrimination I would imagine...but yes pick up on that point rather than address the actual issue being discussed, why not...

OP posts:
Mercison · 27/03/2018 10:27

Saying that they were born a woman and born a man is literal violence and extremely transphobic. Reported.

Mightymucks · 27/03/2018 10:30

I don’t disagree with TERFs. Maybe I should have used the word passionate instead. But then given some of the horrible responses on here maybe I wasn’t wrong.

I honestly can’t see the problem with two people being in a relationship. Who gives a shit. It’s totally irrelevant to the TERF v. TRA debate because anybody can marry anyone of any sex so how they’re choosing to identify is irrelevant.

MickHucknallspinkpancakes · 27/03/2018 10:30

So, AIBU to think WTF is going on when the DM and their readership is a more tolerant and accepting place than here?

Do you think the DM put out the story to encourage tolerance? Honestly?

What are committed DM readers writing in the comments section OP?

4seasons · 27/03/2018 10:31

“Man marries woman”..... big deal.

Mightymucks · 27/03/2018 10:32

Exactly 4seasons.

Justanotherzombie · 27/03/2018 10:32

It is nice to see some support for trans people here for a change rather than debate focusing on criminals masquerading as trans people, who are not trans people and are not their responsibility to apologise for.

Mogleflop · 27/03/2018 10:33

You're fighting a straw man OP.

People here are worried about self-ID and the removal of the legal term "woman". Not transpeople Confused

Justanotherzombie · 27/03/2018 10:34

Man marries woman is no big deal. Nobody is saying it is. What's your point? Nobody said trans people have to marry or be attracted to anyone in particular to be 'news worthy'.

But if you're insisting on calling the trans woman the 'man' in that comment, well, you're a jerk.

frogsoup · 27/03/2018 10:35

That wasn't the context in which you mentioned it though. Basically the reality is that she 'passes' in your eyes because she looks beautiful and feminine, so that's ok. If she looked like Danielle Muscato with a beard, you would not have posted this, because neither you nor anyone else genuinely believes that she is actually a woman. Essentially, if a trans woman manages to perform feminity to your satisfaction, then you're happy. The hypocrisy of this is breathtaking.

bakingdemon · 27/03/2018 10:35

The MailOnline has actually picked up this story from the Sun - it's on their paper front page today. No doubt the OP also has rude things to say about their readers.

Wtfdoipick · 27/03/2018 10:37

I don't care how people dress. I don't care who marries who. I do care about biology and the effect that has. #BiologyMatters.