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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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236 replies

HoneyBadger32 · 26/03/2018 16:10

I will try not to make this long winded...

I have been friendly with a couple for a few years now. I coincidentally went to school with the husband and we went on two or three "dates" when we were about 15, I then ended up working with him after university many years later so i knew him first but now we regularly do things together as couples and I am very close with his wife.

A few weeks ago he called at ours after work to borrow some tools from my OH. His wife was away for work so I invited him to stay for dinner. All very normal. My OH went out to play football and he stayed to watch the end of a film we had put on after dinner. He then randomly starts a conversation along the lines of "do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we had stayed together...." Completely out of nowhere. I asked if everything was OK with his wife etc etc and we had a chat before he left.

fast forward to yesterday and his wife sends me a message saying she can't believe I wouldn't tell her if her husband was trying to cheat on her...I phoned her to try and figure it all out and she says that she had always thought I held a torch for him and that they concocted this plan for him to come onto me (which actually I really don't think you can say he did) to see whether I would tell her?

Tell me this isn't the most bizarre thing you've ever heard? What is the appropriate response to this? I was just on the phone with my mouth open and no idea what to say.

OP posts:
FittonTower · 26/03/2018 16:14

Woah, that's pretty weird. I think I'd tell em to get stuffed and carry on my life without them in it.

FizzyGreenWater · 26/03/2018 16:14

'You utter, utter weirdos. I really cannot think of what to say at all - I simply can't believe the pair of you would do such an utterly bizarre thing. Here are my last two sentences for the pair of you - 1. get help, 2. don't contact me or my family again.'

MaiaRindell · 26/03/2018 16:15

It's sounds like they've had a chat about him being unhappily married, and she's looking for someone else to blame so is grasping at straws.

Raven88 · 26/03/2018 16:16

Your friends don't sound normal.

Isthisnameacceptable01 · 26/03/2018 16:16

What Fizzy said ^^

Iloveacurry · 26/03/2018 16:17

How weird! Would definitely be rethinking my friendship with them.

beboldbebluntbehonest · 26/03/2018 16:18

Well you sure dodged a bullet there!
What a complete pair of weirdos and they are definitely not your friends if that's how they get their kicks.

Nevercallmehun · 26/03/2018 16:18

If you want to remain friends, just say you didn't think he was coming on to you. Otherwise tell them to fuck off. Weirdos.

UpstartCrow · 26/03/2018 16:21

He used a line that could have been considered an opening line. You didn't encourage it, you deflected him. It would have been weird if youhad gone running to her making accusations of cheating on the basis of what he said.

Idontdowindows · 26/03/2018 16:24

Noooot your friends!

Also, I would now consider him to be quite unsafe to be around alone.

HoneyBadger32 · 26/03/2018 16:29

I actually didn't at any point consider him going ohhh do you remember when we were 15 or whatever as anything at all to ring an alarm bell. If he had jumped me on the sofa I might have had cause for a reaction. It was just a non event for me, and as his friend I was more concerned that something seemed to be bothering him than worrying about running for the hills.

OP posts:
TinaGurner · 26/03/2018 16:31

They sound insane. I would cut them both out of my life

moomoocar · 26/03/2018 16:32

What Fizzy said.

They seriously need a hobby.

DextroDependant · 26/03/2018 16:35

Was she definitely in on it from the start or has he gone to get and said - oh I think honey has a thing for me so I tested her our the other day, just to see if we can trust her.

Just in case you got in their first, he was discrediting you before you told his wife about his inappropriate comment.

Either way you are best off out of it.

Shedmicehugh1 · 26/03/2018 16:38

I think I would be angry! How dare they, how childish and little they must think of you as a friend.

HoneyBadger32 · 26/03/2018 16:39

I have no idea which of them is the borderline mad one, but his lack lustre attempt at trying to seduce me or trick me or whatever makes me feel like she gives him grief about me and he's agreed to go along with her plan but hasn't had the heart to commit to it, so now she's reacting over something that didn't happen...or then again maybe there is literally no logic to this and I should just leave them to it? I would love to know what he actually told her though...

OP posts:
MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 26/03/2018 16:40

Whaaat?

HoneyBadger32 · 26/03/2018 16:40

Shed I had that sort of warm all over feeling when I read the text, like just a bit of an out of body experience, but I don't know whether i'm angry or just confused.

OP posts:
TheJoyOfSox · 26/03/2018 16:42

If I found myself in this very weird situation, I’d be pointing out a few home truthes.

  1. He didn’t actually “come on “to me,
2.. I am not your husbands keeper.
  1. You’re both weird, give me my power tools back and let’s call this friendship “over”
TheFirstMrsOsmond · 26/03/2018 16:42

"Don't use me as a pawn in your stupid games"

Shedmicehugh1 · 26/03/2018 16:43

To come to your house with the intention of trying to trick you! And you made him bloody dinner too! What a cheek!

It would actually be quite funny, apart from the damage it could cause!

Bexter801 · 26/03/2018 16:44

I would respond by saying I'm sorry to hear ye have such a strained relationship,that ye feel the need to stoop so low,and go to such utter ridiculously odd lengths. Obviously,we can't carry on being friends....but wish ye all the best.....ye absolute fruity,fruit loopers. Nah Leave out the looper part,but just remain dignified,and of course let them know,you want no more to do with them.

Fluffycloudland77 · 26/03/2018 16:45

Their both mad as, I’d stay away from both of them.

Shedmicehugh1 · 26/03/2018 16:45

Oh yes and ask for your power tools too! I really cannot believe their cheek!

supersop60 · 26/03/2018 16:45

Weirdos. Run away.

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