Set up by friends

[HoneyBadger32]

I will try not to make this long winded...

I have been friendly with a couple for a few years now. I coincidentally went to school with the husband and we went on two or three "dates" when we were about 15, I then ended up working with him after university many years later so i knew him first but now we regularly do things together as couples and I am very close with his wife.

A few weeks ago he called at ours after work to borrow some tools from my OH. His wife was away for work so I invited him to stay for dinner. All very normal. My OH went out to play football and he stayed to watch the end of a film we had put on after dinner. He then randomly starts a conversation along the lines of "do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we had stayed together...." Completely out of nowhere. I asked if everything was OK with his wife etc etc and we had a chat before he left.

fast forward to yesterday and his wife sends me a message saying she can't believe I wouldn't tell her if her husband was trying to cheat on her...I phoned her to try and figure it all out and she says that she had always thought I held a torch for him and that they concocted this plan for him to come onto me (which actually I really don't think you can say he did) to see whether I would tell her?

Tell me this isn't the most bizarre thing you've ever heard? What is the appropriate response to this? I was just on the phone with my mouth open and no idea what to say.

I couldn't be doing with that.

And the fact is, even if he had come onto you, that is not the sort of thing you can tell the wife. More often than not they decide that you are just being malicious.

My dd was nearly raped by a friend's fiancé and when she told her friend, the friend decided that she was making it up, ended the friendship and married the guy.

They are weird and have an odd relationship. I don’t know who is worse, one of them suggesting it or the other one for going along. It’s like that GCSE English Lit question “who is the more evil, Lady Macbeth or Macbeth - debate”. You would just go round in circles. I agree with others - I would steer clear as you will be watching what you say or do all the time in case it is misconstrued. I like fizzygreen’s message suggestion but I suppose if you see the guy at work, best to be cool but civil. Nowt so strange as folk!

Please reply to him!

Of course, now we’re all on the same page it saves us throwing keys into a bowl- dh quite likes the idea of a couple swap.

To the wife I would reply “eh? I have no idea what you’re on about, so if he was trying to cheat he clearly needs to try harder because the message didn’t get across.... .

To him I would reply “um no, we’re busy for the foreseeable future.”

And then I would speak to them at work only.

"No. Take your nasty little games and fuck off."

I would be very close to going round there and smacking someone for this. There is no way in fuck I would ever speak to them again. They think you're a skank who would happily betray her husband and her friends, and that your husband is a cuckold-in-waiting - which they are also up for proving via his and your hospitality.

These people have the morals of ratshit. Tell them to get to fuck.

Have you responded to them?

I bet that the husband thought that you fancy him and would have gone further with him that night😂 what a knock to his ego. They are both ridiculous and I honestly would not entertain this friendship any further.

Think about it, they were expecting you to kiss him or whatever so they could call YOU a whore, side piece, cheat, home wrecker etc etc. They set YOU up to fail. And when you didn’t actually entertain the trap, she is STILL angry with you! My god. Get rid

The only reply I can think of, and it works for both of them, is are you fucking kidding?

Wtf

I would be distancing myself from them fast.

I'd be replying to him strangely enough, no we do not want to spend easter with you and restraining myself from adding you deluded pair of nuts

I'm sorry, I understand you're upset at losing what you thought were friends, but obviously he has no problem throwing your friendship under the bus just to get some weird rise out of her and she's happy to believe him.

Not friends, not friends at all.

They would no longer be my friends, and I wouldn't be going over for Easter Sunday lunch, or at any other time.
Does your DH think you should go for lunch on Sunday?

Reply to say 'No, thank you.'

Nothing else!

i would advise he didnt cheat he asked a question . also your not interested in their games. if there love life is affected ny the past then you have no room for them . also id advise that they are both sad and deluded to plan such a thing

I would reply 'No thank-you' and report the whole sorry farrago to HR given you work with the tosspot.

Reply "It's not just Jesus who died at Easter. Our friendship did too due to your stupid games. Unlike him it will not be resurrected."

"do you want to come to us for easter sunday."

Oh i don’t think that would be a good idea, I wouldn’t be able to control myself and my urges
around you.

Well they sound a few Easter eggs short of a basket.

Text back: www.relate.org.uk

Sorry Nige, but the sex didn’t really do it for me. I’ve put your suggestion to Dave and he says Gail doesn’t float his boat either, so we’d both be disappointed. Good luck with all that in the future though.’

Copy Gail in.

I'd just go with the old MN standard "Are you on glue?".

Ha ha shockers

Did you reply? We need an update on the messed up love triangle?!

I'd say something along the lines of...
'i definitely don't hold a torch for your husband... He mentioned something about back when we were teenagets but I didn't see it as a come-on or something that needed mentioning - he just seemed a bit down. Dh and I are a bit shocked that you were trying to trick me!'