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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

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236 replies

HoneyBadger32 · 26/03/2018 16:10

I will try not to make this long winded...

I have been friendly with a couple for a few years now. I coincidentally went to school with the husband and we went on two or three "dates" when we were about 15, I then ended up working with him after university many years later so i knew him first but now we regularly do things together as couples and I am very close with his wife.

A few weeks ago he called at ours after work to borrow some tools from my OH. His wife was away for work so I invited him to stay for dinner. All very normal. My OH went out to play football and he stayed to watch the end of a film we had put on after dinner. He then randomly starts a conversation along the lines of "do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we had stayed together...." Completely out of nowhere. I asked if everything was OK with his wife etc etc and we had a chat before he left.

fast forward to yesterday and his wife sends me a message saying she can't believe I wouldn't tell her if her husband was trying to cheat on her...I phoned her to try and figure it all out and she says that she had always thought I held a torch for him and that they concocted this plan for him to come onto me (which actually I really don't think you can say he did) to see whether I would tell her?

Tell me this isn't the most bizarre thing you've ever heard? What is the appropriate response to this? I was just on the phone with my mouth open and no idea what to say.

OP posts:
OnTheRise · 26/03/2018 19:49

They're really weird.

I'd tell them both they're cracked and refuse to see them again.

They're not your friends.

RedForFilth · 26/03/2018 20:06

Just reply saying "Easter Sunday sounds good but don't you think shagging on the dining room table with both our spouses there would be awkward?"
Then ten mins later "spoke to husband and he's up for it...see you Sunday!"

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/03/2018 20:13

I like what Shockers said

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 26/03/2018 20:22

What a pair of odd people. I'd be telling them how bonkers they are and then having nothing more to do with them.

Certcert · 26/03/2018 22:43

Don't go for Sunday dinner! You'll be accused of playing footsie under the table!

YouTheCat · 26/03/2018 22:44

Go! And you play footsie but with the wife. That'll confuse the odd buggers.

Certcert · 26/03/2018 22:45
Grin
gamerchick · 26/03/2018 22:51

You could always text that you’ve heard of the lengths some people will go too to get out or returning stuff but they can keep the power tools with your blessing and wish them well in their futures.

Weirdos. Makes you wonder what kind of conversations they’ve been happen to concoct that shit Confused heh you may be part of their rumpy pumpy fantasies for all you know Grin

Certcert · 26/03/2018 22:52

Please don't go around to their house for dinner.

That woman has a bunny on the boil and not 'cos it's Easter!

ShiftyMcGifty · 26/03/2018 22:57

I agree with pp that this is THE one time a head tilt is actually appropriate.

I’d be channelling my inner Snoop Dog and couple it with “You two bitches on glue again?”

Just ignore them. At work, just keep it professional and when he tries the “what’s the matter?” Just reply “There is so much wrong with both of you that I don’t even know where to begin. But I actually can’t be arsed so just back the fuck off and let’s be professionals eh?”

FannyFifer · 26/03/2018 23:02

Maybe that are trying to test the waters for a bit of swinging...

KeepServingTheDrinks · 26/03/2018 23:32

Some brilliant message suggestions, but I think the best one of all is the simple "no thank you" to the invitation to go to theirs at Easter.

No point in engaging with crazy.

It's sad that a friendship is lost, but if they're prepared to drag you into these stupid power/mind games where things are a 'test', I think there's no friendship there in any case.

This SLIGHTLY reminds me of a couple I used to know. This is a long time ago. When they first fell in love, they had that 'loved up' thing, but in addition they both thought that the whole world thought the same... i.e. that every male fancied her and every female fancied him. There was lots of jealousy (and lots of really funny things, like people who knew them but weren't particularly friends [think, team members of his football team, type people] would put their arm round one or other of them. Biiiig drama and "he's always fancied her" and "I nearly punched him".
I think they calmed down eventually.

I think the partner is jealous of you, OP and your history with her other half.

Going to make work awkward though.....

Godowneasy · 27/03/2018 00:16

It's very odd that he invited you both over for Easter.
They don't seem to have any insight into their appalling beviour at all, or how that would make you feel.
Do you think he actually knows what his wife has said to you, and was an actively involved in their plot?

Puffycat · 27/03/2018 00:18

Dump the both of them

BlueSapp · 27/03/2018 00:21

What absolute nut jobs tell your husband the situation and then block and ignore them they are loony

MrsDilber · 27/03/2018 00:35

A couple of weirdos. I'd have my full say before I went NC with them.

clairedelalune · 27/03/2018 05:25

Fizzygreenwater's response (2nd on first page) is the one you need. And then just make sure your pet rabbit is ok. (sorry not sure how to do the fancy quote trick on phone)

Certcert · 27/03/2018 05:30

I’d be channelling my inner Snoop Dog and couple it with “You two bitches on glue again?”
Grin

nursy1 · 27/03/2018 06:09

I think it's really odd that the husband (not yours) is trying to maintain contact/friendship. If he truly believed you were 'into him' and he was a happily married man it seems to me that he'd be the first to say 'Friendship over!'

This^^

And.. my interpretation is she is the nutjob if she has “ made” him flirt with you as a test!! That’s probably why it was such a half hearted attempt and why he is now trying to brush it off and carry on as normal.
I’d text saying husband;
“this is not a drama, it’s just weird. Sorry you two are obviously having issues but we don’t want to be involved. I had no idea you were flirting with me btw! Let’s just keep it professional at work”

nursy1 · 27/03/2018 06:10

Sorry.
Text husband saying;

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2018 06:19

Have you replied op?

Original poster
HoneyBadger32 · 27/03/2018 09:09

my OH phoned him last night to see what the situation was, we're not going to go for dinner on Sunday, but the boys are going to go for a drink tonight....the whole thing is just bizarre. She text this morning to see if I wanted to go get a Chinese with her tonight when the boys are out. I feel like i'm in the twilight zone!!! Am I the only one who had this experience?? so weird.

OP posts:
Shedmicehugh1 · 27/03/2018 09:13

Set my missus up, come on to her, accuse her of all sorts, then go for a pint wtf?

Deshasafraisy · 27/03/2018 09:13

Weirdo’s! Why is your oh happy to go for a pint with him? That’s also weird. Text her back and say you feel the friendship is over.

DextroDependant · 27/03/2018 09:14

Maybe they are swingers.
Him coming on to you didn't work so now he is going to work on your husband and she will try her luck with you.