Set up by friends

[HoneyBadger32]

I will try not to make this long winded...

I have been friendly with a couple for a few years now. I coincidentally went to school with the husband and we went on two or three "dates" when we were about 15, I then ended up working with him after university many years later so i knew him first but now we regularly do things together as couples and I am very close with his wife.

A few weeks ago he called at ours after work to borrow some tools from my OH. His wife was away for work so I invited him to stay for dinner. All very normal. My OH went out to play football and he stayed to watch the end of a film we had put on after dinner. He then randomly starts a conversation along the lines of "do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we had stayed together...." Completely out of nowhere. I asked if everything was OK with his wife etc etc and we had a chat before he left.

fast forward to yesterday and his wife sends me a message saying she can't believe I wouldn't tell her if her husband was trying to cheat on her...I phoned her to try and figure it all out and she says that she had always thought I held a torch for him and that they concocted this plan for him to come onto me (which actually I really don't think you can say he did) to see whether I would tell her?

Tell me this isn't the most bizarre thing you've ever heard? What is the appropriate response to this? I was just on the phone with my mouth open and no idea what to say.

Don't respond to him! Probably another test! Forward his text to his wife saying you don't want to be accused of anything else 'bob' had just sent this

I actually think Shed's idea is freaking genius,then next day send a text saying sorry for all the drama,like to pop around for dinner?

Sorry for the drama indeed, honestly they are a massive pair of dickheads. I do think I would have to respond to the wife making it abundantly clear how far wrong she was on the 'coming on to you' or she might well take the view that your cutting them off is related to your guilt.

Cut them off I would though

they can keep the tools...literally could not care less about getting them back if it means a weird doorstep conversation. My OH thinks it's funny how weird they have turned out to be, but hes bloody laid back about life in general.

Yes bexter we are evil geniuses

" but hes bloody laid back about life in general."

Ah-but he hasn't been tested-YET!

Reckon he fancies you, he’s confessed to her and she’s concocted this story to save face with you?

Get your power tools back first.

Then a message along the lines of ‘I feel the other night crossed a boundary. I don’t mean the set-up come-on itself, as I deflected that and playing around is simply not on my radar. I mean being used as ‘bait’ or a pawn in your relationship. I think we all need some space here, but please do not use us in this way.’

At least it hasn’t caused trouble with your OH. It is quite funny, if you can both see the funny side!

I think I'd either respond to the text with a terse 'Neither' if I was done with them, or if I wanted to keep the friendship I'd have my head examined respond 'I think we better let a little water flow under the bridge before we get together again'.

OP didn't mean to imply your DH would believe the bullshit. Just that he may be subjected to bollocks and/or abuse by the wife.

I think it's really odd that the husband (not yours) is trying to maintain contact/friendship. If he truly believed you were 'into him' and he was a happily married man it seems to me that he'd be the first to say 'Friendship over!'.

How about I have no interest in your husbands tool, I’m more concerned about my hammer drill, bring it the fuck back!

You want to remain civil, fair enough and a good idea if you need to see him at work. I would just start being too busy to see them and withdraw gracefully, but, most importantly, quickly from their lives. Maybe you could throw in a 'sorry, but I didn't think that was funny/appropriate', then, when you become too busy to ever meet up with them, they might take the hint. You've known him since you were both 15, it's sad he still acts like he's 15.

I'm not sure that people this unhinged should have access to power tools.

I like your husband's reaction. I think that's how we'd react. Laugh and then distance.

Fair enough that you need to remain civil for work so I'd just politely sidestep any invitations and be very busy always from now on. Hopefully they get the message.

"Of course we'll come for Easter Sunday - will you boil the bunny or should we?"

I think the issue is definitely theirs! You're not the problem here. Sounds like they have some serious problems they need to work through. And whilst they do that I would steer well clear! Hopefully on reflection, they'll realise it was a bonkers thing to do and apologise... 😬

@scampimom

Brilliant.

They sound like a whole new level of crazy.

“I really couldn’t be less interested in your mind games. When (Boris) announced he was unhappy in his marriage, it never occurred to think he was announcing this as a sloppy attempt to seduce me. How strange.”

They're utterly and completely bonkers. I'd be terminating the friendship forthwith.

Lol scamp @ bunny! Ive come over all Benny Hill, trying to think of power tool related puns!

How absolutely bizarre!
Apart from being bizarre, it's such a nasty and horrible thing to do to you.
I would be very very upset if 'friends' did anything like this. There would be no coming back from this for me.

Fucking weirdos!

He was clearly expecting to start an affair, didn’t get the reaction he wanted so went home and spun a yarn to his wife to “get in there first” in case you mentioned what had happened to her.
Ditch the two of them. Weirdos.

That's so weird. I'd let them sweat, and let them drop.

"No, of course we don't want to spend Easter Sunday with you. You're far too "dramatic" for us. I hope we can keep things civil at work."