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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my 9 year old wear make-up?

144 replies

biggirlknickers · 18/03/2018 16:36

She's asked me a few times now, and I've said no. Not least because she doesn't have any make-up and she wants to use mine no way!!

Some of her friends have make up which she always puts on when she go to their houses. It makes me feel slightly uncomfortable to see her wearing it - a 9 year old with mascara on!

Anyway she's asked me if can she buy some for herself using money she has saved up, and I don't feel I can refuse as it's her money.

Do you let your 9 year olds wear make-up? Is it just at home or do you let them wear it out on special occasions? Where do you buy child appropriate make-up from?

OP posts:
ForeverHappyAndGrateful · 18/03/2018 16:38

I don’t have a daughter but if I did I wouldn’t have an issue with her buying make-up (that’s what little girls do) but I would only allow her to wear it in the house.

Nottheduchessofcambridge · 18/03/2018 16:39

It’s up to you, my DD9 wears a little bit of we are going somewhere nice. She just has boots 17 stuff. No foundation or powder, just a bit of blusher, eye shadow and lip gloss.

Eolian · 18/03/2018 16:42

YANBU. I think it looks awful on little girls. My dd (age nearly 13) has still never once worn make-up except nail varnish. I'd let her wear a little bit now if she wanted, but I certainly wouldn't have done at 9.

lollipopjones · 18/03/2018 16:45

My DD was given a children’s make up palette for her birthday. It’s only a bit of pale eye shadow and lip gloss and she likes to put a bit on for special occasions. I wouldn’t allow mascara though. That’s a bit much.

LEMtheoriginal · 18/03/2018 16:45

9 is too young imo. My dd is 12 and has just started asking. I allow the tiniest smattering of pale eye shadow and a touch of mascara and lip balm not gloss. This has literally been for school disco and one other event.

lollipopjones · 18/03/2018 16:46

She’s 8 by the way. Nearly 9.

cjferg · 18/03/2018 16:46

If she's buying it I don't see how you can stop her.

Maybe you could teach her how to put it on subtly if the blush is too much, etc.?

Whydomypubeslooklikeanest · 18/03/2018 16:48

I wasn't allowed make up at all until I bought my own aged 14 and I absolutely layered it on because my parents had been so strict about it.

I've let mine have lip gloss and eyeshadow and nail varnish etc from about 4 or 5 and they really aren't bothered about it at all and only remember about it and use it very occasionally.

I have no issue with young people trying out make up at all.

StickStickStickStick · 18/03/2018 16:50

I don't like it at all , yet lots of the 9 year olds (low income area if it makes a difference) here do.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/03/2018 16:51

Make up worn out of the house at NINE? No way. My daughter was allowed to play dress up at home at that age, of course, but wasn't allowed to wear it out until 12, and even then, only natural looking lip gloss was allowed. Around 13/14 she started using other products lightly. Thankfully, she has always embraced the natural look.

mintich · 18/03/2018 16:52

I had child's make up at that age, clear lip gloss, clear mascara etc . When I was 12 and wanted real make up, my mum took me to a make up counter for a lesson in natural make up!

lilydaisyrose · 18/03/2018 16:53

My 10 year old experiments with make up at the weekend (never to school) - doesn't bother me.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 18/03/2018 16:54

I allowed a little at home to practice with at 9, not outside the house though. Dd is 12 now and only now do I allow a little outside but not foundation and only on special occasions. I am happy for her to buy out of her own money though

PrincessHairyMclary · 18/03/2018 16:57

DD is 8 she has lots of different types of make up (eye and lip colour towers not mascara etc) but it's for play at home and isn't worn outside. She doesn't watch YouTube tutorials or anything like that and she likes putting it on me. She loved using face paints and used to spend hours doing her own designs but it's a nightmare to get off the carpet or any of the other million places she managed to get it.

Eliza9917 · 18/03/2018 17:03

No kids here yet but I wouldn't let a 9yo wear make up.

Maybe a bit of kids lip gloss & nail varnish but not proper make up, and I would tell them that they can't spend their money on it either.

Merryfeckingchristmas · 18/03/2018 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alfagirl73 · 18/03/2018 17:06

Why not let her get some very natural looking simple make-up and have a mum-daughter girlie day. Show her how to wear it. Thinking some pale simple eye shadow, clear mascara (gives the definition without layering on black), nude / natural lip gloss, perhaps a tiny touch of blusher... teach her about "less is more" and make it a bonding thing rather than a battle. She's happy because she gets to buy some make-up, you're happy because you get to have some control over it and you both have a nice day.

speakout · 18/03/2018 17:08

I think the more you resist then the more alluring it will be.

OP do you wear make up?

My DD is a dancer, so has worn stage make up from 5 years or so.

AlishaMary · 18/03/2018 17:10

If she's buying it I don't see how you can stop her.

Really? As a parent you have no control over what a nine year old buys with their own money?

Op I don’t allow my nine year old to wear (or buy) make up apart from nail varnish. But the amount of her classmates with full eye makeup and bright red lips at the recent school disco show me that I’m very much in the minority.

If you want to compromise then do as a pp suggests and let her buy it do wear at home only.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 18/03/2018 17:10

If she's buying it I don't see how you can stop her
Completely disagree. You act as any parent of a 9 year-old by setting rules for her and consequences if she ignores them.
I think you could reach a compromise with her, for example pale lip gloss and clear mascara? And set out occasions when she is allowed to wear it such as parties or whatever.

jadebryce · 18/03/2018 17:10

I'd say just a little like lip gloss and a little bit of mascara, just cheep stuff disencourage her about foundation etc as it will wreck her skin

Whatdoiladymcbeth · 18/03/2018 17:10

Maybe you could compromise and buy her fun make up? Stuff like glittery eye shadow, face stickers etc that she can use to play around with at home.

speakout · 18/03/2018 17:13

Face paints?

FranticallyPeaceful · 18/03/2018 17:14

I know one friend who was allowed makeup this early and she was always trying to do things older girls did. She slept around constantly from a young age and ended up pregnant at 15.
I doubt the makeup caused it, more of a wanting to do older girl things complex... but it certainly put me off the idea of giving my kids makeup at an early age!

peachypetite · 18/03/2018 17:16

Nine year olds wearing mascara?!

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