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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my 9 year old wear make-up?

144 replies

biggirlknickers · 18/03/2018 16:36

She's asked me a few times now, and I've said no. Not least because she doesn't have any make-up and she wants to use mine no way!!

Some of her friends have make up which she always puts on when she go to their houses. It makes me feel slightly uncomfortable to see her wearing it - a 9 year old with mascara on!

Anyway she's asked me if can she buy some for herself using money she has saved up, and I don't feel I can refuse as it's her money.

Do you let your 9 year olds wear make-up? Is it just at home or do you let them wear it out on special occasions? Where do you buy child appropriate make-up from?

OP posts:
speakout · 18/03/2018 17:16

I know one friend who was allowed makeup this early and she was always trying to do things older girls did. She slept around constantly from a young age and ended up pregnant at 15.

What are you suggesting?

IfNot · 18/03/2018 17:17

Of course you can tell her what she can and can't buy -she's 9!
Make up for dressing up at home-fine.
For real life? Hell no. She's a little kid!

ghostyslovesheets · 18/03/2018 17:20

meh - one of mine was obsessed with make up from about 4 - she's 15 now and is brilliant at applying it etc - it's a hobby for her

Middle one went through a phase at about 8 - now doesn't wear it (13)

Smallest sometimes wears a bit bit not often (9)

it's their money and their faces - it's up to them

pmsl @ the suggestion it makes girls sleep around though

speakout · 18/03/2018 17:22

pmsl @ the suggestion it makes girls sleep around though

speakout · 18/03/2018 17:22

Exactly!!

omBreROSE · 18/03/2018 17:24

My daughter has my cast - offs, she is 9.
She puts it on excellently, primarily as she is takented at art. I’ve suggested to her she become a make up artist.
However, this only happens at home. I wouldn’t allow her to wear it out, no matter how natural/ well applied.
I always think little girls look like clowns with make up. As if their faces are overwhelming with anything extra.
They are still children, therefore most of the product designed to do something - just don’t!

ludothedog · 18/03/2018 17:25

My DD has some toy make up and real stuff. When her friends come round they play with it (they end up looking like clowns!) and it gets wiped off before they go home.

For special occasions DD has worn a little bit of eye shadow, lip gloss and nail varnish but she really isn't that fussed for it.

TBH I have found that the more you restrict you are regarding things the more tantalising it becomes.

Idontdowindows · 18/03/2018 17:25

I think it looks awful on little girls. Makes my skin crawl.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 18/03/2018 17:29

I think there's a difference between having some kids make up to play with because that's dressing up. Dd1 is 8 she's barely interested but dd2 is obsessed and has a barbie palate she makes a right mess with. At kids parties there's (for both my age kids) a sprinkling of glittery eyeshadow on one or two kids it's really not mainstream.

But....one of dd1's friends is sent to parties wearing grown up make up. Last time I noticed was at a swimming party. An 8 year old was wearing mascara - at a swimming party.

Contesse · 18/03/2018 17:30

Let her have some fun stuff she can play with just at home- maybe glittery lip balms or something. And maybe something like a clear mascara to keep for good. I wouldn't be too rigid but 9 is too young imo. Mind you, my mum treated make up like contraband and consequently I was obsessed with it fairly early.

reluctantbrit · 18/03/2018 17:30

DD is 10and has proper make up since she is 9.5. She has eye shadow blush and lip gloss originally but we had buy proper foundation, mascara and power for a stage show.

She is allowed to wear it at home and I am fairly critical if it is too much as I think they need to learn how to do it properly so I make suggestions and she looks up you tube for tutorials.

Nothing outside the house unless it is a party or school disco. She def is one with the least amount of make up. She wanted highlighter and concealer and I just asked her what on Earth she wants to conceal. One of her friends wore eye shadow to a soft play party, hm.

DH hates it but also 7 understands that learning it properly now means she doesn’t overdo it in 3 years time.

speakout · 18/03/2018 17:32

My DD is a dancer, so has worn stage make up since the age of 5. She is incredibly skillful at applying make up now, ( age 17) contouring, fake eye lashes, she can do different looks/themes 50s/60/gothic/fake/natural/.
She still chooses to go to school most days wearing no make up, and to my knowledge is not pregnant- in fact I know she isn't.

IfNot · 18/03/2018 17:37

TBH I have found that the more you restrict you are regarding things the more tantalising it becomes.

Sorry but I increasingly feel like this is a truism that signifies most of what's wrong with the way kids are brought up now.
My kid can't play GTA or smoke cigarettes. Maybe he will end up a serial killer on 40 a day, but you know what? I'm the parent, he's the child, and I'm willing to take that risk.

FlouncyDoves · 18/03/2018 17:38

One of the main uses of make up is to make women look attractive to men. So YANBU to refuse this to a 9 year old.

IanRushesInadequateFlushes · 18/03/2018 17:39

My DM compromised as I was obsessed with makeup at that age - I got some nice makeup and she taught me how to apply it, but i wasn't allowed to wear it outside until I was 12-13. Ironically now I'm old, I can never be bothered!!

DN(10) is obsessed with it too, but keeps it light - my SIL isn't into makeup at all, so I got her a mac shimmer powder and lipgloss and she just wears tiny amounts for the theatre, dinner out etc. Keeps her happy but doesn't look OTT.

Pinkprincess1978 · 18/03/2018 17:41

My almost 9 year old has her own make up which she practiced with at home but I wouldn't let her out in it (she is still perfecting the 'clown look').

If we are going out for a meal or something special I I will make her up a bit. Rules are though no mascara and no foundation, she doesn't need either.

AlishaMary · 18/03/2018 17:41

It's their money and their faces - it's up to them

Where nine year olds are concerned I absolutely do not agree with this at all.

OutyMcOutface · 18/03/2018 17:43

You really need to explain to her ASAP how unhygienic sharing make up, especially mascara is. The parents of the other girls really shouldn’t allow them to share. You need to have a word with them. You should also explain to her that regular make up use will destroy your skin.instead maybe try to encourage her to adopt ‘grown up’ good skincare habits. As a last resort you can point out that wearing make up beyond hiding really unpleasant flaws that cause discomfort/social anxiety is terribly common and makes women look awful. Obviously these things start at home. Maybe you are sending the wrong messages yourself? If you can’t justify to her why you are wearing a certain piece of make up then you will look like a hypocrite telling her not to wear it.

Bearfrills · 18/03/2018 17:43

Creased at the suggestion that playing with make-up is the first step on the road to teen pregnancy!

DD is 6yo, 7 this year, and dances so has been wearing show make-up of one sort or another since around 4yo. Her last show was bright blue eyeshadow and red lipstick. Looks funny in daylight as it's caked on, when on stage its not as bright because the lights mute it/wash it out but it means her facial features are more clearly visible to the audience.

She has a play make-up set that she plays with at home and she loves getting her nails painted, she goes through stages of wanting it all the time and then not bothering for weeks. On a general normal day, out and about, she doesn't wear make-up. Sometimes she asks to wear glittery lip balm if she's going to a party and I say yes because I see no harm in it.

There's a world of difference between some sparkly, sticky stuff from Claire's Accessories that only a child could love and a three inch thick layer of slap applied with a trowel.

Jemimapuddleduk · 18/03/2018 17:44

One of the main uses of make up is to make women look attractive to men. So YANBU to refuse this to a 9 year old.

Bollocks to that! I wear make up every day as it makes me look more alive, less tired and more confident, nothing to do with the opposite sex.
My dd is 4 and she is allowed to wear glitter powder on her eyelids for parties and at home. She also wears nail polish in the school holidays.

WipedOutDaze · 18/03/2018 17:45

No YANBU unless it is for dressing up at home.

What is influences are pushing her into this?

Pennywhistle · 18/03/2018 17:46

My DD is not allowed to wear make up, she’s ten!

I don’t understand MN’s attitude in this. Threads full of horrified people who don’t want their children to “grow up too soon” if someone has the temerity to tell their 10 yo Santa is made up but a face full of make up is fine.

Weird.

formerbabe · 18/03/2018 17:47

Nine is way too young for make up.

I would maybe allow some tinted lip balm and maybe a clear mascara but nothing else.

starzig · 18/03/2018 17:48

Many are just copying what their parents do. So don't think there is any harm. Maybe if more women went make-up free, kids would follow suit.

PeterRabbitEatingHisCarrot · 18/03/2018 17:48

I would allow her to buy a mascara, eye shadow and blusher. It would be nice for you to choose it with her. Eye shadow and blusher isn't much different to the 'play makeup' that you can get. Barry M does bright colours so I think that would be encouraging the fun aspect of makeup. It's your choice whether you let her wear it outside of the house, or it's just something to 'play with' at home.

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