to not let my 9 year old wear make-up?

[biggirlknickers]

She's asked me a few times now, and I've said no. Not least because she doesn't have any make-up and she wants to use mine no way!!

Some of her friends have make up which she always puts on when she go to their houses. It makes me feel slightly uncomfortable to see her wearing it - a 9 year old with mascara on!

Anyway she's asked me if can she buy some for herself using money she has saved up, and I don't feel I can refuse as it's her money.

Do you let your 9 year olds wear make-up? Is it just at home or do you let them wear it out on special occasions? Where do you buy child appropriate make-up from?

You can always tell the parents that don’t have teens yet...

My son used to put kohl on his eyes and wear nail polish, normal for an Indian boy

My seven year old loves makeup and has since she was little. Can I have my make up like you mommy. Is what she says... I don't wear loads!

I let her wear it special occasions (a bit of blusher and lipgloss)

If she does it herself she doesn't really go out of the house with it on. But if we did pop out out I don't see it as been a massive issue.

I would never make her wear it but she loves playing with it 😃

A 9 yr old is far from being a teen

10 year old DSD and 4 year old DD have make up, because they have a dance shows/ plays.
As an occasional treat they are allowed to play with it at home together. But I wouldn’t want them leaving the house in it!

They spend much more time at home making dens/building Lego/ playing with dolls etc, so I don’t see that the occasional bonding session playing with make up is an issue.

You can always tell the parents that don’t have teens yet...

What's that got to do with how you parent a 9 year-old? When my dd is a teen she'll be allowee to wear make-up. When she was 9, she wasn't.

I really can't stand the You can always tell the parents that don’t have teens yet...-type bollocks. They are the same people who make ridiculous comments to capable women having babies about they have no idea what's coming/ how will they cope etc. Erm well I'm sure she'll work it out like the other 2bn or so manage to.

I don’t see that the occasional bonding session playing with make up is an issue.

What is this ‘bonding session’ bollocks? Why is makeup inherently more ‘bonding’ than, say, craft?

My DD has a big collection of nail varnishes (she's 9) and for Christmas the year before last, she asked for a make up kit but specified that it wasn't to be a 'baby one', she messed around with it a bit, I showed her less is more, talked about the importance of cleaning it off properly etc and now for special occasions she might ask to wear the tiniest bit (never allowed for school).
I'm a bit at the posters suggesting play make up - 9 is far too old for that surely? Also find it a bit strange to say that play makeup is ok but real makeup isn't, bit confusing for the children to understand isn't it?

I have two dds but they are 3 and 11 months. Dd1 has asked what I am doing when she sees me putting on make up. I explained that its like dressing up for grown ups, so I have started wearing lip colour everytime I have make up on to show this! I tell her I find it fun so some days wear colours on my face. I would probably allow coloured lip balm around aged ten.

I find the differences of oppinion on here really interesting. I do not think I'd be ok with preteen dds having clear mascara or blusher but I would be fine with eyeshadow (tiny bit) or lip balm and painted nails. I always wonder how our views on this are shaped.

I’m very thankful that my daughters never wanted make up as children. They both started wearing it as teenagers, but only one of them still bothers with it now they’re in their 20’s. I’ve never worn the revolting stuff and I’m now in my 60’s!
As a feminist, I always reckoned that if men’s faces were all so naturally beautiful not to need it, then neither did women! I must have saved a fortune over the years.

It isn’t about how we are parenting at 9 - it’s the predictions about when make up will be allowed! “Not till 16”

Yes, there s scope for control at nine.
13, 14 - not so much.

Tea your example isn’t relevant.
Teens are not as easy to deal with as a younger child.
Lots of parents spout off here about how they will deal with their teens when they get them...
The reality is very different. The goal posts move completely and if you’ve patented by control - you are in for a massive shock!

Maybe get her some clear mascara and a nude lip gloss?

Most 13 and 14 year olds are perfectly controllable, I used to teach them in a secondary school so I've had a fair amount of contact with them. Yes agreed while they are out round friends houses they may put some on but if a parent doesn't allow it in their house/ while they are with them then that is perfectly doable. And tbh the same applies to a 9yo that they may put it on while at a friends house and you'd have to be a bit OTT to have a hissy fit over it.

Personally once they are in their teens I think makeup is OK anyway but not at 9. We all have different views though.

*I don’t see that the occasional bonding session playing with make up is an issue.

What is this ‘bonding session’ bollocks? Why is makeup inherently more ‘bonding’ than, say, craft?*

Don’t be stupid, people bond over mutual interests. If you identify as female your brain is genetically wired to enjoy activities such as make up and shopping. So us mums can spend quality time together focussing on what’s important- our appearance.

Personally i treat make up a bit like craft. My kids have always had access to make up- usually claires crap, from face paints to glitter eyeshadow, and if they want to go and paint their faces rather than paper that’s fine. If they go out in it i don’t see it as much different to going out in an elsa dress.

I’d rather they used make up for play and look ridiculous than start teaching children about using make up “properly” to make them look more attractive. What sort of lesson is that for a 9 year old? It’s no wonder people automatically think make up = looking better, when it’s taught from such a young age.

My oldest is 14. She is starting to collect relatively decent make up, urban decay etc. Again she uses it more like art, she enjoys creating different looks. Which i think is a far better message than teaching them about “subtle” and “enhancing”. If she wants to go out full on goth, or disco, or 40’s glam, that’s fine. I’d rather she used make up to express her personality than to improve her appearance or make herself more attractive. Because she’s fucking gorgeous and no amount of make up will improve her natural state

Dd3 hasn't long turned 9 and a lot of presents she received from school friends were make up and smellies (body sprays etc) and I was a little taken aback if I'm honest. I will let her play make up with her sisters in the house but she doesn't get to wear it out side, she can wear lip gloss or a shimmery eyeshadow if she has a party but that's about it.

Dd2 has just turned 11 and against my better judgement i bought her some make up for her birthday. She has asked for a long time, all of her friends are into proper make up and I don't particularly see the harm if it's just for occasional weekends or parties but I still think she's a bit young. I definitely think 9 is too young.

My almost 16 yo is big into high end make up now, but will quite happily go to school and out with friends without wearing any. Many of her friends will not leave the house without a full contoured face and it's a bit ridiculous. She has lovely skin, it could be a coincidence, but I do think it's because she has only worn minimum amounts and not very often.
I've always made sure we check exactly what they're putting on their face too, a lot of cheaper make up can be irritating and we always make sure it's removed properly and their skin looked after.

If you identify as female your brain is genetically wired to enjoy activities such as make up and shopping. So us mums can spend quality time together focussing on what’s important- our appearance.

Oh. Dear. Lord.

Don’t be stupid, people bond over mutual interests. If you identify as female your brain is genetically wired to enjoy activities such as make up and shopping. So us mums can spend quality time together focussing on what’s important- our appearance.

No worries. I’m pretty confident I’m not the stupid one here.

I really think she was being ironic.

Tea, I bloody well hope so, but looking at the rest of her post, I'm not sure!

If you identify as female your brain is genetically wired to enjoy activities such as make up and shopping. So us mums can spend quality time together focussing on what’s important- our appearance.

If this isn't a joke, it's one of the most stupid things I've ever read on MN.

Oh and I don't 'identify' as female. I am female. But you'd have to be an unbelievably vacuous female to really think that what is most important is your appearance.

Dear lord, just rtft. I really hope that was a joke

I think a full face of make up is a definite no, but I would let her use make up aimed at girls her age, a little bit of tinted lip gloss and blusher, but obviously not foundation . I remember I used to love the Glitter Babes range from Boots when I was a young teen.