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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not let my 9 year old wear make-up?

144 replies

biggirlknickers · 18/03/2018 16:36

She's asked me a few times now, and I've said no. Not least because she doesn't have any make-up and she wants to use mine no way!!

Some of her friends have make up which she always puts on when she go to their houses. It makes me feel slightly uncomfortable to see her wearing it - a 9 year old with mascara on!

Anyway she's asked me if can she buy some for herself using money she has saved up, and I don't feel I can refuse as it's her money.

Do you let your 9 year olds wear make-up? Is it just at home or do you let them wear it out on special occasions? Where do you buy child appropriate make-up from?

OP posts:

starray · 19/03/2018 11:09

At 9? No way. I only started wearing make-up out of the house at around 17! It would be fine to mess about with it at home, but definitely not out of the house. Why cover up her natural beauty at such a young age? I also think that all that tugging and pulling at the face when applying make-up will ruin her skin, eyelashes and delicate eye area.

Snowmagedon · 19/03/2018 11:13

I don't see any issues making her wait a little longer! My dd is ten, sees me wearing it but wouldn't even think to start putting make up on

starkid · 19/03/2018 11:33

I think a bit of glitter/eyeshadow lip gloss is ok at that age, and only for playing with at home, or perhaps for a party (with your help).
I used to have a childrens set of (awful quality) makeup my cousins and I would play around with at that age, but never daily or to go out in or anything, just for fun in our rooms. We wouldn't put it on seriously, would mostly end up looking like clowns and laugh about it! We used to like painting our toenails too.

Of course things are a bit different these days with Youtube beauty gurus perhaps putting some pressure on girls to start early, but I'd say fun cheap kids makeup for playing with at home is fine.

Spoog1971xx · 19/03/2018 12:07

I wouldn't. But it's your call. She's so young. To me it represents a gender stereotype and it's sexualising. ( my opinion only)

Fancyacuppaluv · 19/03/2018 12:10

No you’re absolutely not being unreasonable. I have 10 and 15 yr old dd’s, neither of whom have asked for make up, none of their friends wear it either.
I just don’t agree with painted faces on children, it is sexualising girls when they should just be being kids.

Agustarella · 19/03/2018 12:25

My 9 yo DD wears lipstick a lot. I'm not sure how garish bright pink lippie, applied haphazardly, sexualizes anyone or makes them look older! She also likes fancy dress (princess or monkey) and it's all just normal play as far as I'm concerned. Mascara is banned as I don't want her poking herself in the eye with the wand, plus it's a pain to remove.

cindersrella · 19/03/2018 12:26

Is it sexualising if it's there choice to wear it? I absolutely disagree if it's for fun that it's sexualising!

Dumbassmummy · 19/03/2018 18:31

I don’t even let my 14 year old dd wear makeup. She’s beautiful as she is she doesn’t need makeup. I don’t want her growing up thinking she needs makeup to be seen as pretty or that she needs it to fit in.

reluctantbrit · 20/03/2018 06:53

Who says that girls starting to wear make up are sexualised or not interested in anything going else?

My DD is a Scout, she runs around with her troop in the woods, signed up for a very muddy assault course trip and goes on camps as often as possible, she also rides and comes home from a day in the stable covered in muck. Her favourite holidays are either the week long camp with the Scouts or a week in a pony camp followed by a beach holiday.

She hikes with us, loves Go Ape or similar.

And yes, she likes to wear make up and sparkly tops and jeans.

Branleuse · 20/03/2018 07:16

babies cant wear bikinis because its sexualised, little girls cant play with dressing up - or its ok when theyre toddlers but everyone loses their shit over certain ages trying to dress like their mums or their sisters etc.
Everything is bloody sexualised, school uniform is sexualised

One day we might realise that its us sexualising them

bonbonours · 20/03/2018 13:27

My 11 year old likes makeup and has been wearing a bit for parties etc for a couple of years. I hardly wear any makeup, only if going out so that is the norm in our house. She never wears it to school.

I actually disagree that you should encourage young kids to only wear very subtle makeup. 'Natural' makeup is specifically designed to make you look better than you naturally do. Little girls look lovely the way they are they don't need natural makeup. On the other hand wearing some bright or glittery eyeshadow or lipstick is more like having a bit of fun, the equivalent of wearing jewellery or a sparkly dress that you wouldn't wear everyday, to go out to a party etc.

mollied · 20/03/2018 13:32

I think I had make up at that sort of age but it was more for playing with at home I don't think I wore it out until I was about 13 when I would be allowed to go out shopping with my best friend. I don't have children so I can't say how I would feel about it but I don't think I would have a problem with them buying some with their saved up money I think the responsibility is then on you for teaching her how to use it.

Strugglingtodomybest · 20/03/2018 14:04

I wouldn't if I had a girl, but then I hate make up, I think it looks shit on most people and the majority of young women would look 100% better without it on.

field10 · 20/03/2018 18:51

It depends on the context. If you are having a mess about like me and my girls do giving each other a makeover (or looking like a clown) that's fine it's not on for long. But if it's on a regular basis and all day like a grown up then no that is wrong it will ruin the child's skin. I never let them where mascara that's a definite no no. Mine are 12 and 4.

YoloSwaggins · 20/03/2018 19:12

All the parents here are saying they wouldn't let their kids wear makeup...

.....so where are the parents of the girls I see around town with thick foundation, brown contouring lines and patches of blue unicorn highlighter?

StickStickStickStick · 20/03/2018 19:18

Not the demographic on mn presumably! Or at least not posting so much on here...

cindersrella · 20/03/2018 21:02

yolo I was thinking the same thing. Most of the girls I know who are around 14 have much better makeup than I can do! I fact I ask my 14 year old niece for tips 😂

jimmyw32 · 13/04/2020 04:22

You don't see how you could stop her? If she's buying it? What is wrong with you people? You're the parent, you make the rules, you set the standards. I've to read a few of these "what can I do" messages. And we're all talking about 8-12 year olds? My DD is 9, and it's understood it's in home or at a family members house (Aunt, Grandma,etc) only. If this is violated, there's conseuences. My children have get an allowance every week and I can assure you whatever is bought is approved or disapproved by us. When did mothers and father's become so spineless?

user1473878824 · 13/04/2020 04:26

It’s up to you, my DD9 wears a little bit of we are going somewhere nice. She just has boots 17 stuff. No foundation or powder, just a bit of blusher, eye shadow and lip gloss

This has given me full ick. That’s more make up than I wear at 31 when I’m “going somewhere nice”. Your nine year old wears eyeshadow? Jesus H. Not even going to pretend to not be judgy.

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