Baby shower - children not welcome

[vanessa6734]

Have been invited to a friends baby shower. Its being organised by her sister but friend has said how she wants everything.

Not really keen on baby showers myself but do want to support her, I said yes I could come to the date proposed (group chat) but would have DC2 with me (a toddler), this was met with silence from friend and her sister saying glad I could make it but it wasn't child friendly and could I get a baby sitter.

I am a single parent so can't just leave DC at home, and childcare options are limited due to no family local. DC1 is older and so can stay with a friend who has DC the same age but I wouldn't feel comfortable asking her to have DC2 aswell due to the age and various extra needs compared to school aged child.

Would I be unreasonable to say I can't make it? Or should I just turn up with DC? Only slightly over aged one so not likely to make any difference to anyone else but me imo.

Maybe they decided to make it childfree because of one or two particular guests they felt compelled to invite out of courtesy who are velcro'd to their annoying toddler. Just a thought .

I really dont believe that some people on here ACTUALLY dont understand that a second time mum, who presumably arranged a babysitter for older child, wants one last adulty day with friends before plunging back into baby-dom?

I think people must get it, but because its a "babyshower" the MN default is to pick holes in it & slag it off.

Wedding, birthday or baby shower - you only take who was invited. If the invite is only for you, you can't just decide to take a mate, date or baby as an extra. Rude in the extreme.

It wouldn't matter what the event was organised inorder to celebrate.

THEY DONT WANT KIDS THERE. Not even yours. You don't of course have to attend.

It seems that the OP and some others think that a baby shower should mean that you should be able to bring babies. The shower part means a shower of gifts and/or love and friendship. It does not mean a shower of babies.

"SenecaFalls
It does not mean a shower of babies."

😅

This thread reminds me of something that happened when my husband and I went to a park recently. We were at a place that was child friendly but not really enjoyable for children under 3 because they just seemed confused, bored, or scared rather than enthralled with the animals and activities.

One activity was a gentle ride through the park on a train, we got on along with the families everything was looking fine until the train was started up and a maybe 9 month old baby started crying at the top of her lungs which she continued to do through almost the entire ride. This could be neither ignored nor could we escape from it. She had been quiet and calm as could be up until that point from what I'd seen she just simply hated being on the train or maybe it scared her, not sure, I doubt her parents could have predicted she'd react that way.

So the serene train ride became the complete opposite and it only took one crying baby to change it.

The point is that babies and toddlers are unpredictable and no matter how well behaved one might be 99% of the time they could suddenly have a meltdown out of nowhere...that is why people like to have some events be adults only. They don't want the one time your child ever had a public meltdown to be during their party.

It is annoying trying to have a conversation with someone when you are constantly interrupted by the kids. It’s basically a get together with the women closest to you (or at least the showers I’ve attended have been) not men, not children. It’s a social event. You go if you can/want to, decline if you can’t/don’t want to. Don’t get the hump because you can’t bring your children, just say no.

Agree, if you can't get childcare then just say you can't go. If she wants you there bad enough she will allow your child to come

The OP agreed on Saturday that she would decline the invitation.

Yeah and then came back to moan about how she "doesn't get the issue" with children attending

I was invited to a baby shower a couple of months ago. Hubby kept insisting that I take DD (3yo) to it. No matter how many times I instructed hubby to make arrangements to entertain DD for the afternoon, he was still delusional. Only on the actual day when I was getting dressed did the penny finally drop on hubby. He's usually pretty sharp on stuff like this, but not for that event...

If it’s like any of th baby showers I have been to, it will be totally inappropriate for children.

Lots of pin the sperm on the egg games and innuendos