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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a weird message from colleague?

294 replies

Octaviaeight · 10/03/2018 19:46

New colleague sat next to me for about a month (she's been in the company a year but just moved to my department).

She messaged me on Facebook last night and said just letting you know that I was in a car crash last night.

I wasn't at work this week and I won't be next week either so wouldn't have noticed her missing.

I'm not her manager, her absence doesn't need to be reported to me at all.

Obviously I asked how she was but I'm not a close friend of hers. We've never socialised.

She has a boyfriend and lots of family so she's not lonely.

Is that an odd message to send?

OP posts:
FissionChips · 10/03/2018 19:47

Perhaps she’s trying to start a friendship?
I’d block and blank though , unexpected communication freaks me out.

Yukbuck · 10/03/2018 19:48

Perhaps because she's been sitting next to you for a month she might have wanted to let you know? Maybe she doesn't know you won't be in next week.
If I was in work I would probably notice if someone wasn't in for a while.

Original poster
Octaviaeight · 10/03/2018 19:49

She definitely knows I'm not in next week

OP posts:
missiondecision · 10/03/2018 19:50

You may not consider her your friend but you have been sitting next to her for a month whereas you are asking ransoms what they think 🤔

Original poster
Octaviaeight · 10/03/2018 19:50

I’d block and blank though , unexpected communication freaks me out.

Seems a bit harsh

OP posts:
EnglishRose13 · 10/03/2018 19:50

Maybe she wanted to talk about it with someone and thought you'd be a good option.

Original poster
Octaviaeight · 10/03/2018 19:50

whereas you are asking ransoms what they think

Welcome to Mumsnet, have a seat

OP posts:
TheClitterati · 10/03/2018 19:51

So you work together, sit next to each other, are fb friends and you think it's weird she let you know about a pretty massive incident in her life. Shock

I'm glad I don't sit next to you at work. Confused

DalekDalekDalek · 10/03/2018 20:03

So you work together, sit next to each other, are fb friends and you think it's weird she let you know about a pretty massive incident in her life.

^This

Some odd responses on here.

IrenetheQuaint · 10/03/2018 20:07

So you're a work/FB friend and she has let you know about a traumatic incident in her life? Sounds pretty normal. She may have entirely forgotten you won't be in next week.

TheSnowFairy · 10/03/2018 20:08

Not odd at all - was she ok?

issaflame · 10/03/2018 20:13

YABU!

Lunde · 10/03/2018 20:14

Perhaps she is just trying to give you a heads up about why she is covered in bruises next time you see her

NotLinkedInSnowedIn · 10/03/2018 20:16

I am incredulous that a poster would block and blank a colleague who messaged with this information.

I'd just say ''blimey I hope you're alright''.

ButteredScone · 10/03/2018 20:17

YABU.

Without meaning to sound harsh, you see to come across a sun-me-athletic and very focussed on yourself/your time off. What makes you think this communication is strange?

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 10/03/2018 20:19

Sounds normal to me - my colleagues and I mostly don't see each other outside work, but we would certainly keep each other updated about a significant car crash.

Some VERY odd responses here.

SusanBunch · 10/03/2018 20:20

Maybe she sent the same message to lots of people. I wouldn't flatter myself too much that she is an obsessive stalker. I am glad I have never worked with some of the weirdos on here who would block someone for sending a message.

blueskyinmarch · 10/03/2018 20:22

I imagine she has contacted many people she knows on FB to tell them about this. It is a big deal and this might be her way of trying to make sense of, and cope with, what happened to her. I think the correct response would have been 'Thanks for letting me know Are you ok?'

Serialweightwatcher · 10/03/2018 20:22

Just sounds like she wanted to talk to someone maybe - may have upset her a lot, and she may consider you a type of friend if she's been sitting next to you for a month. Don't you speak to her at work if you sit next to each other?

Lemonnaise · 10/03/2018 20:24

I’d block and blank though , unexpected communication freaks me out

Absolutely no need for this^ at all. OP it sounds like a totally normal message to receive imo.

FissionChips · 10/03/2018 20:24

weirdos on here who would block someone for sending a message

People shouldn’t send unsolicited messages if they don’t want to get blocked.

Lemonnaise · 10/03/2018 20:27

People shouldn’t send unsolicited messages if they don’t want to get blocked

This is a really odd attitude to have. It's not a stranger, the woman sits next to her at work. I have never met anyone in RL with that attitude, you text a workmate and get a reply back and vice versa.

RingtheBells · 10/03/2018 20:27

Why is she a Facebook friend if she is not a friend. If she is a friend why shouldn’t she message you

SusanBunch · 10/03/2018 20:29

People shouldn’t send unsolicited messages if they don’t want to get blocked

You sound a real joy to be around... Just wondering- how would someone that you know gain your permission to send you a message? Telepathy?

Zoeton · 10/03/2018 20:30

I think it’s one of those “finding it hard to cope with and still a bit in shock so telling everyone” things

When I’ve worked in the service industry, every now and then you get someone just wanting to offload (or occasionally a colleague would tell me “very personal stuff”) nothing more to it than that.

If she pursues a friendship and you don’t want one, just be a bit vague/don’t reply to messages

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